• 3:14 A.M.!!!: WOW, Barry Obama first lets every news network figure out his VP before his "fans," and then he has the nerve to send the Biden text at 3:14 A.M. IN THE MORNING EASTERN TIME. Good thing we are awake for no reason. And yet: ha ha, "tech-savvy" Barack Obama just woke up his most devoted followers at 3:14 a.m. after a tiring work week. But we assume this is another red herring, with a secret clue -- his actual running mate is the number "Pi" rounded to two decimal points.

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