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  • NUMBERS ARE FOR LOSERS: Oh well this is nice: after the Dow plummeted 600 points early this afternoon, it recovered most of those losses. And by that we mean CONTINUED TO PLUMMET HORRIBLY GAHHH. It's down 770 777 points, which sounds eerily like a "record." The S&P and Nasdaq are faring even worse, percentage-wise. Here's a bonus "afternoon funny" for you to laugh at and then tell all yr work friends: the last time Congress swiftly passed a major, bipartisan piece of legislation was to authorize an idiot to launch the worst foreign policy decision in modern American history. So maybe things aren't so bad hmm? [WSJ]
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Happy Sunday!

In case you hadn't heard -- last week, Glenn Beck's BlazeTV merged with CRTV to form an unholy voltron of right-wing drivel. Yes, for $10 a month you can watch a bunch of low budget talk shows that all appear to be mostly the same low-budget show, featuring a variety of mostly rando conservatives you've never heard of. Except for the racist guy from that duck show, whom you have heard of but probably forgot about entirely. I know I did!

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The rumors WERE true after all! John Kelly will be getting "You're Fired" retiring at the end of the year. The news of Trump and Kelly's divorce comes after months of speculation that the two had suffered irreconcilable political differences. As with previous failed marriages of convenience, Trump will keep everything, including the White House, and leave his former partner with only a crushed soul, an non-disclosure agreement, and a lifetime of regrets.

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