• CRYPTIC DISPATCH FROM CHILDREN'S BALL: A Wonkette child operative writes this horrifying message about the kid's ball, at which Barry and Michelle just slow-danced: "Youth ball is under siege: They aren't letting people in and the crowd is on the brink of crshing." Hmm, we do not know this latest youth slang, "crshing." Is that what they call sniffing the stuff under the sink these days?

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