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WHY MICHAEL PHELPS IS THE WORST PERSON EVER: Did you hear about this Phelps character, an elite swimmer who was photographed smoking the evil gateway drug marijuana? "It doesn't matter that 'everybody else is doing it,' because my bet is that everybody else smoking pot at that student party at the University of South Carolina doesn't have endorsement deals worth $100 million. They haven't courted the concept of being a role model and selling cellphones and cereal to mothers and grandmothers and little children." Next we will find out that Michael Phelps didn't pay his taxes, and then his political career is OVER. [Washington Post ]