The Telex Machine Is Kept So Clean, and It Types To a Waiting World

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  • Four police officers in Washington state were gunned down in a coffee shop by some psychopath. [Seattle P-I]
  • The "person of interest" is a child-raping monster who got out of prison in Arkansas thanks to then-Gov. Mike Huckabee, so probably it's goodbye to Mike Huckabee as a 2012 candidate, and there's your "politics angle" for this awful story. [Arkansas Times]
  • Tiger Woods, who appears in those vague accounting-company advertisements in The Economist, crashed his vulgar SUV right outside his own vulgar Florida mansion, and his wife rescued him with a golf club or something, and maybe there is a MISTRESS, or PAINKILLERS. Very interesting, apparently. [NYT/SFGate/TMZ]
  • Remember Donald Rumsfeld? He let Osama bin Laden get away alive, in December 2001. Rumsfeld didn't give a fuck about 9/11 or whatever, of course, and just two months later he was already way too busy with the neo-cons' long-planned invasion of Iraq. [Guardian]
  • Oh hey Barack Obama maybe had his picture taken with those White House party crashers LAST YEAR, TOO, as proven by this caption: "Barack Obama poses with the Salahis, the Black Eyed Peas, and Randy Jackson." This country sucks so hard. [Patrick Gavin]
  • Today is "Cyber Monday," so you can masturbate all day at work, it's cool -- it's for the Economy! [PC World]
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