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Every dog will have its day.IT'S LEGAL TO SELL ANIMAL TORTURE VIDEOS AGAIN! Do you "get off" by watching videos in which "women in high-heeled shoes step on small animals," and kill the animals in this fashion? Or do you prefer to fap to pit bulls tearing each other apart in dog-fight videos? Either way, America's Supreme Court is furiously masturbating with you today, 8-1, you sick twerp. Why does Sam Alito (!) hate your American rights to watch helpless animals tortured for your repulsive amoral fetish? [Reuters]
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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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