[Pedro Martinez / AP]CNN's most genius political hire ever, Chris Cillizza, had a lively day Tuesday. He did very important political analysis like "HOT TAKE, we aren't surprised Dr. Ronny Jackson is having a hard time being confirmed, because Donald Trump doesn't vet people very much!" YA THINK, CHRISTOPHER? He ALSO wrote a very important listicle where he analyzed the AP picture above (fair use because this blog post is about the picture!), of Donald and Melania Trump and Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron, raising their arms in the air and holding hands. Out of his analysis came NINE VERY IMPORTANT THOUGHTS, the kinds of thoughts you only come up with after a long career of being bad at journalism and getting overpaid for doing it.
CHRIS CILLIZZA THOUGHT #1
1. It was nearly 60 degrees in Washington on Tuesday morning. Why does Trump have an overcoat on? Neither woman wore a coat. And Macron has on only his suit coat.
Life is full of questions, but Occam's Razor would suggest Trump was cold. CRAZY FUCKIN' HYPOTHESIS, WE KNOW!
CHRIS CILLIZZA THOUGHT #2
2. Trump's face is saying, roughly, this: "Are we done yet?"
Like hell it is, Donald Trump and Emmanuel Macron are BFFs and bromancers and very much in love. He is happier in that picture than he has been at any point in his presidency, excepting the time when he got to sit in the big truck.
We're already phoning it on thought #2, Chris?
CHRIS CILLIZZA THOUGHT #3
3. Macron's hands. He appears to be doing the "Hook 'em, Horns" /Kiss guitarist Gene Simmons hand signal. (Yes, there is a debate over who owns the index finger + pinky finger in the air sign. Because, of course.) Why? I wish I knew but man does it amp up the awkwardness.
That's right, Emmanuel Macron is the awkward thing about this picture.
CHRIS CILLIZZA THOUGHT #4
4. Trump is dealing with the Macron hand game by grabbing the French President's middle finger. (I think.) Also, that hand grab is not the only awkward handshake(?) that happened during the formal welcoming ceremony. Check out this one via CNN's own Brenna Williams:
The "handshake," courtesy of @brennawilliams pic.twitter.com/45jO8lnDnY
— Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) April 24, 2018
Well, see - there you go. We can spot a fellow lady who works hard for her money at 300 paces blindfolded.
I wish our "president" had sexy, manly hands...{sigh}