Guess No One Wants To Come To RNC Superspreader Convention In COVID Hotspot. Whodathunkit?

What if the GOP threw a party to celebrate their bigly amazing presidential nominee, and no one showed up? Oof, how embarrassing! Wouldn't it be just terrible if the Republican National Convention turned out to be a humiliating disaster like Trump's Tulsa rally?

Just last month, Commander Tantrum blew up two years of work planning his convention in must-win North Carolina when the state refused to guarantee him a full-capacity hall with no mask or social distancing requirements. The RNC had already raised and spent $38 million for the Charlotte event, and they had to start all over again in Jacksonville thanks to that ranting loon. Just weeks before the convention, they were back to square one, except worse. Because four weeks ago is when Trump's poll numbers started to look irreparably dire and Florida's COVID numbers entered their terrifying spike.

"How'd ya like to make a six- or seven-figure donation to a dying campaign and guarantee yourself primo access at a superspreader event in a COVID hotspot?" is a tough pitch for convention planners.

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Mary Trump's Book May Be The Beginning Of A Sh*tshow Donald Trump Never Saw Coming

Yesterday, all the newspapers started publishing excerpts from Too Much And Never Enough: How My Family Created The World's Most Dangerous Man, the new Simon & Schuster (LOL) book from Donald Trump's estranged niece Mary Trump. By dinnertime, TV journalists were petting the book like it was a precious stone, and also reading from it. Because that is what you do with books. You read them.

Rachel Maddow said she read the whole book yesterday, and proceeded to spend most of her show reading stories for the rest of us. Like this story, about how Donald Trump loves the military so much that he reportedly maybe was going to disown Donald Trump Jr., if that dumb idiot joined the military.

From the book:

When we pointed out that our cousins would still benefit from what their parents were getting from my grandfather, Rob said, "Amy of them could be disowned at any time. Donny was going to join the army or some bullshit like that, and Donald and Ivana told him if he did, they'd disown him in a second."

Maybe that's what happened with those American troops Vladimir Putin paid bounties to have killed in Afghanistan, maybe Donald Trump disowned them.

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Iowa GOP Blocked Statewide Absentee Voting, Stepped On Own Dicks

You might recall how, back in June, Iowa set a record for voter turnout in its primary election because the secretary of state, Republican Paul Pate, sent all registered voters an absentee ballot request. Everything went smoothly and the state saw incredible voter participation, not just for a primary, but for any election. 531,131 people — just short of 25 percent of registered voters — cast ballots. It was such a success that Republicans in the state Senate passed a bill prohibiting statewide mailing of absentee ballot requests ever again, because Republicans have decided they hate it when too many people vote.

Eventually, after national condemnation of the bill, Democrats and Republicans agreed to a slightly less draconian compromise: If a secretary of state wanted to change election procedures to meet a health crisis, it would have to be approved by the state's "Legislative Council," a body made up of the leadership of both houses and some other long-serving members of the state Lege.

As the indispensable Bleeding Heartland blog explains, the Iowa GOP's move to keep Pate from letting too many eligible Iowans vote may have handed a nice little present to Democrats. Nothing in state law says county election officials — In Iowa, they're called "Auditors" for some reason — can't send out ballot requests to everyone in a county. So that's what the auditors in seven heavily Democratic counties have said they plan to do. Gosh, shame your attempt to shut down voting by mail appears to have prevented ballots going out to every part of the state, guys.

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Trump Knows Who Is The Real Russian Bounties And It Is The Leaker Of The Russian Bounties, Which Are Fake

Donald Trump is very mad about this Russian bounty thing. No, not that Vladimir Putin was paying Taliban fighters in cash money to kill American troops. Why would Trump get mad about a little thing like that? It has absolutely zero to do with his life.

What he's mad about is that somebody (SOMEBODY!) in the White House made up a fake story about Putin paying bounties, and about him knowing about it, and then they took that fake story, which is fake (FAKE), and they leaked it! Like a common leaker!

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GOP Strategy Of Clinging To Trump For Dear Life Paying Off. For Democrats.

Poll porn on a Wednesday? Don't mind if we do!

How many times a day does Lindsey Graham think about that video of him saying "If we nominate Donald Trump, we will get destroyed, and we will deserve it"? One hundred? One thousand? Every time he checks the president's Twitter feed?

With the caveat that we're four months from Election Day and you RUN THROUGH THE TAPE, etc., Graham's words look more prophetic by the hour. This morning, the Cook Political Report moved Georgia to the "Toss Up Column" for the presidential race. Georgia!

As Cook's Amy Walter writes:

This election is looking more like a Democratic tsunami than simply a Blue wave. President Trump, mired in some of the lowest job approval ratings of his presidency, is trailing Biden by significant margins in key battleground states like Pennsylvania (8 points), Michigan (9 points), and Wisconsin (9 points). He's even running behind Biden in his firewall states of Florida and North Carolina.

Put it in our veins, Ma'am! The magic number is 270, and if Cook is right about Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Michigan going Democratic, that puts Biden at 279 without Arizona, Florida, or North Carolina.

If Donald Trump could stop being a crazy, racist loon, he might be able to turn it around. And if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'.

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Dear God, The CDC Just Caved To Trump's Ass-Whining AGAIN

Guess they'll just tell little kids with COVID to walk it off, like gym teachers do.

They did it again. Donald Trump whined like a screaming bunker baby, and now the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which was once known as the top health organization in the entire world, is caving, and will change its recommendations on how to safely reopen schools. Because Trump doesn't care what happens to your children or their teachers.

If you remember, this is where we started our day (actually THIS is where we started our day, the idiot Trump tweets forced a stupid update):

And apparently "meet with them!!!" he did. The announcement about the CDC de-balling its recommendations because the president is having a tantrum came from Vice President Mike Pence:

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2020 presidential election

Democrats Fully United Behind Biden For An Old-Fashioned Trump Whoopin'

Dems are so not in disarray!

Democrats love them some Joe Biden. He's either the ultimate unity candidate or we just hate Donald Trump with a singularity of purpose never previously seen. Democrats aren't always good at staying on message but “we want to make Trump hurt" has resonated. It's inspired us to put aside any petty squabbles and just focus on bringing the pain on Election Day.

The New York Times polled six battleground states and found that Biden enjoys ridiculous levels of support from Democrats. This includes voters who'd supported another candidate during the primary. Bernie Sanders supporters back Biden over Trump's dumb ass 87 percent to 4 percent. There's no Bernie or Bust here! Biden rocks the house even more with Elizabeth Warren's supporters. They're with Biden 96 percent to zero — as in nothing, you lose, good day, Mr. Russian Asset President. That's better than Biden's own primary voters — one percent of whom apparently support Trump now. We're gonna assume that's a rounding error.

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