Supreme Court To Trump: You Are So Screwed, Eventually!

Finally, it's here! At long last, the Supreme Court has issued a ruling in the Trump tax cases. Chief Justice John Roberts, Kegstand, and Gorsuch joined the four liberal justices in two 7-2 decisions. Hooray! We must have won, right?

Well ... that depends.

If your definition of a "win" is preserving a legal system where the president is not above the law, then yes, we won. If you were hoping that before the election we'd get to see whatever it is that Trump has been fighting so hard to keep hidden, not so much. On the plus side, Trump's chances of retaining the White House look worse by the day, and the court just enshrined protections for a future President Biden (God willing!) against harassment by a future Republican Congress (God forbid!). And that's a really fucking good thing!

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Trump Can't Always Get What He Wants, Not Even From Gorsuch And Kegstand :(

The Supreme Court just dropped its season finale rulings in the cases we had been most anticipating, on Donald Trump's taxes and financials, and we are going to call them WINS. Why? Well for one thing, because they are. Also, Trump seems to know he lost, because he sure is rage-screaming!

We screengrabbed this one because GOT CAIGHT is our new favorite presidential typo:

The full, reposted thread is here. There were also these:

You hate to see it.

However, don't pop the champagne just yet, because we probably won't be reading Trump's taxes and financials on the internet anytime soon, at least not before the election.

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Tucker Carlson Has 14 Words For Tammy Duckworth

Tucker Carlson devoted chunks of his Fox News Paranoia Hour Monday and Tuesday night to accusing Sen. Tammy Duckworth (D-Illinois) of all sorts of terrible things: hating America, wanting to tear down all statues of George Washington, and of course wanting to impose socialist totalitarianism, after which she'll no doubt take away your MyPillows, too. It's the usual bullshit from Carlson and Fox, but before we get into it, we really need to lay out a tasty truth sandwich for you, to make clear just how unhinged and substance-free Tucker's Two Nights Hate really was. Like, even less substantial than usual.

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When Trump And Fox News Love Each Other Very Much, Sometimes They Lie Down Together And ...

Yesterday was weird. (Evergreen statement!)

Donald Trump HEREBY ANNOUNCED early in the morning on Twitter that he was very mad at the CDC's recommendations for how schools across America should handle the question of reopening. This came after a Tuesday event when he was very insistent that the kids must go back to school NOW RIGHT NOW, and if a few kindergarten teachers keel over dead, well, they probably forgot to take their hydroxychloroquine that morning.

And then in the afternoon, unbelievably but not unbelievably, the CDC announced through Mike Pence — sure, why not! — that it would be changing its school reopening recs, to lighten them up and make sure the schools don't do anything CRAZY like stay closed, which could hurt Trump's chances at re-election. We guess the only thing worse than a kid dying of coronavirus is a kid who dies of coronavirus in a world where Donald Trump is not president.

It got us to wonderin', as we are wont to do, what might have happened in the 24 hours leading up to Pence's announcement and the CDC's abrupt change. Did the president read a new scholarly article that strongly suggested the CDC was overreacting? Yes, that's what happened, the president read something.

Or maybe he just watched a shitload of Fox News, like he always does.

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Right Wing Extremism

Who Would Have Believed This Woman-Hating Racist Was Writing Tucker Carlson's Show?

Everyone. Everyone would believe that.

In August of last year, Tucker Carlson declared that white supremacy was a "hoax," perpetrated by the left and "used to divide the country and keep a hold on power," for reasons. We all imagined it! Nothing he ever said was actually racist, we just said that those things were racist because we wanted to make him look bad.

It is probably very likely that the person who wrote that rant, along with the many other rants that made Tucker a favorite with all the non-existent white supremacists, was a guy who spent pretty much all his spare time writing extremely racist and bigoted things on the internet.

Carlson's head writer for the last four years, Blake Neff, resigned yesterday after a CNN investigation revealed his years-long history of writing bigoted and sexist posts on AutoAdmit, an unmoderated message board considered to be "4Chan for law students and lawyers."

Via CNN:

Just this week, the writer, Blake Neff, responded to a thread started by another user in 2018 with the subject line, "Would u let a JET BLACK congo n****er do lasik eye surgery on u for 50% off?" Neff wrote, "I wouldn't get LASIK from an Asian for free, so no." (The subject line was not censored on the forum.) On June 5, Neff wrote, "Black doods staying inside playing Call of Duty is probably one of the biggest factors keeping crime down." On June 24, Neff commented, "Honestly given how tired black people always claim to be, maybe the real crisis is their lack of sleep." On June 26, Neff wrote that the only people who care about changing the name of the NFL's Washington Redskins are "white libs and their university-'educated' pets."

Well, that certainly tracks. As does this grossness.

On the forum, Neff has also expressed bigoted views. In 2014, he joked about "foodie faggots." And in the same year, he started a thread titled, "Urban business idea: He Didn't Do Muffin!" He joked one item could be, "Sandra Bland's Sugar-free Shortbreads!" In August 2019, a user started a thread titled, "We should just buy Canada and kick the Canadians out." Neff commented, "Okay but what do we do with the millions of Chinese people."

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Culture Wars

​Goya Trades Loyal Hispanic Customers For Laura Ingraham and James Woods!

Wonkette's Resident Latinx Explains #BoycottGoya & #Goyaway

In 1936, Don Prudencio Unanue and his wife Carolina, Spanish immigrants to Puerto Rico started Goya foods. From their small store front in Manhattan, they grew to one of the largest producers of Hispanic food products and "ranked #2 as a leading U.S. food brand for its social influence and community support, according to TotalSocial rankings" as stated on their website. For me, their products were ubiquitous part of a Puerto Rican kitchen as their seasoning were used by my great grandmother, grandmother, my mother and me. Much like the company ran by Don Prudencio's grandson, the use of their products was handed down from generation to generation.

All that changed on Thursday, when Goya Foods CEO Robert Unanue decided to sacrifice all that goodwill and customer loyalty from the Hispanic community at the altar of Trump's frail ego & narcissism.

Goya Foods CEO: We're all "truly blessed" to have a leader like President Trump"

UNANUE: We're all truly blessed at the same time to have a leader like President Trump, who is a builder. And that's what my grandfather did. He came to this country to build, to grow, to prosper. And so we have an incredible builder. And we pray — we pray for our leadership, our president and we pray for our country — that we will continue to prosper and to grow.

Trump then added this bit of lie since he had just received praise from his Hispanic Prosperity asskissers guest speakers:

TRUMP: I will stand arm-in-arm with the Hispanic community to ensure that every child in America can grow up in safety, security, dignity, and in peace.

These words from Trumpito ring hollow as he has caged Hispanic children, demonized Mexicans, villainized immigrants from El Salvador & other Latin American countries, rescinded & is currently legally fighting to get rid of DACA and responded to the deaths of Puerto Ricans (who have the dual pleasure of being Latinx and U.S citizens) from Hurricane Maria with paper towel tossing indifference.

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Weekly Top Ten

Take Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 To The River!

You come read your top 10 stories right now!

Welcome, welcome bubbelehs, to another week gone by, and Wonkette's top 10 stories as chosen this week by a ravening pack of GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS VERY GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS! Which is weird, because dogs can't even read.

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