Anti-Vax, Unmasked Cops Throwing Whiny-Ass Temper Tantrums ERREWHERE

Mayor Bill de Blasio announced Wednesday that New York police, firefighters, and other municipal workers have until November 1 to get vaccinated or placed on unpaid leave. This should go over like 99 lead balloons with the city's cops, who like enforcing rules but aren't so thrilled with following them.

New York police often walk around with their faces uncovered on public transport, despite the mask requirements. Tuesday, a couple officers manhandled commuter Andrew Gilbert for repeatedly asking them to wear a mask on a subway platform. They bum-rushed the guy and shoved him through the emergency exit at the 8th Street station in the Village. Presumably, the law they chose to enforce here was Never Piss Off The Cops.

The Metropolitan Transit Authority (MTA) has pleaded with cops to consistently wear masks in the giant petri dishes they call subway stations and on trains, but the police don't seem interested.

"Eighty percent of the time they make some lame excuse or put the mask on," [Gilbert] said. "I really wish that we had a police department that was dedicated to public safety… They're just standing there, doing nothing, spreading COVID, and flouting the rules as a show of force. They can just do what they want and there's no accountability for it."

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You Want A Death Cult? 'Federalist' Lady Will Give You A Death Cult!

As some rightwing figures are encouraging people to own the libs by actively seeking infection with the coronavirus, the folks at the Federalist yesterday reminded good people of faith that, as the headline puts it, "For Christians, Dying From COVID (Or Anything Else) Is A Good Thing." Joy Pullman, the executive editor of the site, chirpily explains that it's really a shame that so many Christians have bought into the secular, and wrong, idea that death during a pandemic is a bad thing. After all, only heretics would believe that "life is over once a person stops breathing," or indeed that humans can actually prevent death at all.

In fact, if you're a Christian and you think the best way to handle a pandemic is to try to keep people from dying, then you probably ought to "repent for the way we and our institutions responded" to the pandemic, although Pullman downgrades it to an "outbreak" and carefully avoids mentioning that it's killed 728,000 Americans so far.

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This Is A Very Nice Post About Maggie Haberman

Hey, it looks as if Maggie Haberman at the New York Times is not pleased with Wonkette. We hope she wasn't a regular subscriber. Perhaps not fully appreciating the Streisand effect, Haberman tweeted this to her 1.7 million followers:

Twitter

I admit I'm flattered. Haberman's tweet makes me feel like a cast member on Saturday Night Live (regardless of the season), who's always considered worse than anyone on the show 20 years earlier.

But I firmly stand behind my trash post, which is arguably the nicest thing I've written about Haberman. For those who came in late, Haberman downplayed the fact that Donald Trump keeps calling himself “your president." This is the same Donald Trump who refused to concede the presidential election he lost and still claims it was "stolen" and Joe Biden isn't the legitimate commander in chief.

Apparently, there's nothing to see here, folks, because as Haberman noted, "Bill Clinton's office calls him President Clinton too. Of things they do, this doesn't seem that odd." However, Clinton never incited an insurrection against Congress and tried to make himself dictator for life. Details.

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Madison Cawthorn Just Begging All The Mommies To Raise Up Some MONSTER BOYS

GOP Rep. Madison Cawthorn has been on a weird one the past few days.

We've gotta say, everything changed for us the second we realized this guy's voice sounds identical to Ben Shapiro's.

Anyway, here is Cawthorn at some event or another, whining to the crowd that our culture is trying to "demasculate" all the men, and begging parents of young boys to please raise MONSTERS. Is there a more deranged way to say whatever Cawthorn was trying to say? We can't think of one.

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Congress

Let's Watch Jamie Raskin Dick-Kick Matt Gaetz, We've All Earned It

Jim Jordan was there too.

There was a hearing this morning in the House Rules Committee on the contempt referral for Steve Bannon passed by the House January 6 Committee last night. If we'd realized what a shitshow it would become, we would have put up a livestream. Oh well.

GOP seditionist Reps. Matt Gaetz and Jim Jordan showed up at the hearing and rubbed themselves all over it, like pomeranians who need their anal glands expressed. In this post, we'll focus on Gaetz, because what most people are talking about is how constitutional law perfesser and Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin just drop-kicked Matt Gaetz's very large face so far up into outer space that, well, quite frankly, you could still clearly see it, because his face is too large for his body.

Our point is that it was just real good.

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Legal

Trump Argues For Absolute Right Of Presidents To Loot And Pillage In Copyright Lawsuit

Extremely on brand.

Trump's legal team is tryin' it. Again.

Today's WTF-ery comes to us from the copyright infringement suit filed by one Edmond Grant, AKA Eddy Grant, AKA the guy who did not fucking appreciate having his hit song "Electric Avenue" used without permission in one of Trump's ridiculous campaign videos. Trump tweeted out the video on August 12, 2020, and Twitter yanked the video for copyright infringement within a few hours. Then Twitter yanked Trump himself, and not a moment too soon, so we can't provide you with a link to the video in question. But we actually remember this one because the graphics were so embarrassingly crap — like Thomas the Tank Engine circa 1991, only worse.

Here's a still from one of Trump's briefs.

Get it? Get it? GET IT?

See Trump is a BIG CHOO CHOO TRAIN VROOM, and Biden is just a skinny dude manually pumping himself along the tracks.

Which isn't actually the dumbest thing you'll read in this post, believe it or not.

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coronavirus

It's October 2021 And Stupid Dipsh*ts Are Still Being Stupid Dipsh*ts About Masks

Your COVID roundup!

Here we are in the 20th month of the coronavirus pandemic, which we suspect will never end because of Death Cult idiots. And yet we have some good news on the pandemic all the same! Let's cover this in speed-round format, shall we? We'll start with the good stuff, and maybe end with some good stuff too.

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