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The Ratf*cker's Dilemma

Before shit starts going down today, let's talk about Roger Stone and Donald Trump's shady, shady deal. This afternoon, a jury will decide whether Stone tampered with a witness and lied to Congress about his contacts with Wikileaks during the 2016 election. He didn't take the stand in his own defense, so prosecutors never got to cross examine him about his contacts with the Trump campaign. But they did get Steve Bannon confirming that he spoke to Stone multiple times about upcoming Wikileaks dumps of Hillary Clinton's emails. And they heard Rick Gates testify that Stone relentlessly flogged his connections to Julian Assange from April of 2016.

In late July, Gates was in the car with Donald Trump and two Secret Service agents during a phone call with Roger Stone; Trump turned to Gates and said that Wikileaks was planning further document dumps. All of which was documented in the Mueller Report, but after Bill Barr took a Sharpie to it, conveniently obscuring the firsthand account of Trump's collusion with Wikileaks and Roger Stone, it looked like this.

Why no, that is not what Donald Trump said in his written answers to Mueller's questions.

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Black White Nationalist Candace Owens Blames Obama For Inventing The Racism She Filed Lawsuits Over

Tomi Lahren's blackface performance art character, Candace Owens, appeared on "The Ingraham Angle" last night, and it was just a coupla white chicks sitting around talking about race and Pete Buttigieg. Mayor Lochinvar of the Democratic Party got in a spot of trouble the other day when he implied that Barack Obama was a big loser whose incompetence led to Donald Trump raining hell on the American people. Evan Halper at the Los Angeles Times later clarified that Buttigieg didn't actually call out the "failures of the Obama era" but instead decried the "failures of the old normal" like the dismissive "OK, Boomer!" Millennial he is. That's some pretty sloppy reporting there. But after the misquote's retraction, Buttigieg followed up with some nice words about Obama and everyone moved on.

Unfortunately, Laura Ingragam is both of evil and capable of simple inference. She thought there was “wisdom" in Buttigieg's criticism of Obama. She looked so happy when she put it together, like she was carving into a sous-vided baby cooked to perfect medium rare.

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Tulsi Gabbard Sends List Of Demands To Hillary Clinton, READ THE TRANSCRIPT!11!!1!!1!1

On Monday, Tulsi Gabbard threw down the gauntlet in the Democratic primary that exists entirely in her mind, in which she is fighting Hillary Clinton to the death either for the Democratic nomination, or maybe for possession of a secret key that grants #InfinityPower to the person lucky enough to possess it. After Gabbard threw down said gauntlet, Hillary reportedly kind of looked at it and immediately went back to reading her book or making chili or giving a speech on children's healthcare, you know, whatever she was doing at the time.

Gabbard has sent Clinton A LETTER. And not just any letter! It is a LIST OF DEMANDS.

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How Are GOP Idiots Defending Trump's Ukraine Crimes Today?

Donald Trump is so mad right now. About all of it, obviously. He's getting impeached, he probably can't pick out which picture is "camel" the way he used to, everybody hates him, he gets booed at Veterans Day events, his oldest son has that face ... we can't think of a thing he has to be happy about, honestly.

But he's real mad that Republicans won't go out there and say his crime call with Ukraine was perfect, which is what he thinks about his extortion of the Ukrainian president. We imagine it's pretty hard for Republicans to say it was "perfect," since the partial transcript Trump released of the call is, prima facie, a crime spree.

Ayup!

Let's look at some of the new defenses the GOP has come up with the past few days for Trump's bribe-y crime call, and his much longer campaign to extort Ukraine into investigating his political rivals.

SPOILER, none of them are "it was a perfect call!"

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popular

Live On ALL CHANNELS, It's The Trump Impeachment! (Liveblog, Day One!)

Bill Taylor, George Kent, YOU'RE UP.

Who's ready? We are ready!

Soon, the live hearings in the House with Ukraine chargé d'affaires Bill Taylor and State Department official George Kent will start! It will be on ALL THE CHANNELS. In other words, people who usually watch "The View" And "Live With Kelly And Idiot" will see this.

While we're waiting, though, Adam Schiff announced the hearing schedule for next week:

So Friday, we have former ambassador Marie Yovanovitch.

Tuesday, we have Jennifer Williams (from Pence's office!), Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman, Kurt Volker, and Tim Morrison.

Wednesday it's Gordon Sondland, Laura Cooper and David Hale.

And on Thursday, it's former White House Russia adviser Fiona Hill.

Some of those sessions will be split up between "morning session" and "afternoon session" and "sexxxy after dark" session, just kidding, there will be no Impeachment After Dark.

Anyway, we'll be here for all of 'em.

Now let us go make one million cups of coffee and we will do this.

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White House

Is Stephen Miller A White Nationalist? A Head-Scratcher For The Ages!

(Yes.)

The Southern Poverty Law Center published what it promises will be the first in a multi-part series of articles examining emails Stephen Miller sent to Dead Breitbart's Home For Plausibly Deniable White Supremacy in 2015 and 2016, when Miller was working for then-Sen. Jeff Sessions and later the Trump campaign. In the emails, Miller pitched story ideas about how dangerous immigrants and minorities are and touted articles from white supremacist websites. He also urged the site to write about In the Camp of the Saints, a notoriously racist 1973 novel that's become hugely popular with white nationalists. (Steve Bannon thought it was much better than Cats, and read it again and again!)

Pope Francis made Miller think of that novel, which depicts Europe being literally invaded by hordes of filthy browns (who in one scene rape a white woman to death). While visiting the US in 2015, Francis called on Congress to treat immigrants with decency. So Miller asked his contact at Breitbart, "[Did] you see the Pope saying west must, in effect, get rid of borders. Someone should point out the parallels to Camp of the Saints." Fact check: Pope Francis never called for the elimination of national borders. But Breitbart published a story (archive link, so as not to pollute your computer) on the eerie parallels between Francis's views and the novel. That author, Julia Hahn, is now an aide to Donald Trump.

The emails were given to the SPLC by former Breitbart writer and editor Katie McHugh, who was shitcanned by Dead Breitbart in 2017 after she sent an anti-Muslim tweet that sounded exactly like 97.4 percent of Breitbart comments. The SPLC says McHugh "has since renounced the far right" (more on that in this Buzzfeed piece), and gosh, we sure hope she's managed to sign up for Obamacare, too. It appears McHugh kept receipts from her time at Breitbart, and shared with the SPLC over 900 Miller emails, sent to her and others at the outlet.

So here's the shocking surprise: Stephen Miller writes like a racist dickhead, and a number of issues that animated his emails have translated into Trump administration policy. The vile stuff Miller said in those emails is already being dismissed by those on the Right, because while it's soaked in white nationalist themes, he never actually uses the n-word, and also he can't be a white nationalist because he's Jewish, didn't you know that? So let's take a look at all the article's evidence showing Stephen Miller can't be a white nationalist, shall we?

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2016 Presidential Election

The Ratf*cker's Dilemma

And speaking of quid pro quos ...

Before shit starts going down today, let's talk about Roger Stone and Donald Trump's shady, shady deal. This afternoon, a jury will decide whether Stone tampered with a witness and lied to Congress about his contacts with Wikileaks during the 2016 election. He didn't take the stand in his own defense, so prosecutors never got to cross examine him about his contacts with the Trump campaign. But they did get Steve Bannon confirming that he spoke to Stone multiple times about upcoming Wikileaks dumps of Hillary Clinton's emails. And they heard Rick Gates testify that Stone relentlessly flogged his connections to Julian Assange from April of 2016.

In late July, Gates was in the car with Donald Trump and two Secret Service agents during a phone call with Roger Stone; Trump turned to Gates and said that Wikileaks was planning further document dumps. All of which was documented in the Mueller Report, but after Bill Barr took a Sharpie to it, conveniently obscuring the firsthand account of Trump's collusion with Wikileaks and Roger Stone, it looked like this.

Why no, that is not what Donald Trump said in his written answers to Mueller's questions.

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News

Impeachment Day! Wonkagenda For Wed., Nov. 13, 2019

Impeachment Day, the 2020 horse race, and Trump grifters. Your morning news brief!

Happy Impeachment Day, Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!

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Impeachment

It's Impeachment-Eve-Thirty, Motherf*ckers! Let's Remember What Trump's Ukraine Scandal Is Really All About.

Missed some Ukraine stories and need to catch up? WONKETTE GOT YOU.

Welcome to Impeachment Eve! Or, you know, the first of many Impeachment Eves.

Tomorrow is the first public impeachment hearing in the House, and the guests of honor will be (acting) ambassador to Ukraine Bill Taylor and State Department official George Kent, two people whose testimonies behind closed doors were devastating to Donald Trump. The hearings start at 10 a.m. Eastern, which is "time" where you live, it will be aired on all the channels and all the internets, and yes, we will be FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE-ing here at Wonkette, which is another word for "liveblogging."

Last night, Rachel Maddow started off her show with an "A" block that we think really captured what this impeachment is all about. As complicated as certain details have gotten, remember that the central crime has remained simple: Donald Trump abused the power of his office for personal gain by extorting a country to manufacture fake dirt to help him win the 2020 election, and also to legitimize his 2016 "win," while threatening to withhold military aid they desperately need to survive their war with Russia, Trump's BFF who invaded them.

That's it. Memorize that sentence if you want to. Set it to music! CHOREOGRAPH A JIG!

It's not "allegedly." He did it. Everybody who has testified says he did it. The original whistleblower complaint says he did it. His READ THE TRANSDFRIPT!!11!21! says he did it. Mick Mulvaney says he did it. His confessions say he did it.

And oh yeah, tomorrow's all-stars Bill Taylor and George Kent sure as hell say he did it, as does Marie Yovanovitch, the ambassador who got fired because she was in the way of Trump doing it, who will be testifying in public on Friday.

Game over. Get the un-American fucker out of office already.

BUT IN CASE YOU HAVE MISSED SOME STUFF, LET'S CATCH UP!

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Featured

Roger Stone Charms Jury By Staying Off Witness Stand

Even a blind squirrel is right twice a day.

If Donald Trump's campaign was really doing NO COLLUSION with Russia, it sure as hell wasn't for lack of trying. Testimony from Steve Bannon and Rick Gates conclusively establishes that the Trump campaign believed they were working with Wikileaks through Roger Stone to get the stolen DNC emails released.

Maybe Roger Stone was lying about having a conduit to Wikileaks, although he and that loon Jerome Corsi correctly "predicted" that it would soon be John Podesta's "time in the barrel." And perhaps the Trump campaign didn't realize that Kremlin-backed hackers had broken into the DNC server. Although Rick Gates testified that just days before his famous plea for Hillary Clinton's emails, "Russia, if you're listening," Trump hung up the phone after speaking to Roger Stone and announced that Wikileaks was going to dump more stolen Clinton dirt.

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Impeachment

Fed Society Founder Steve Calabresi Was A Dick But He Was Smart. The Daily Caller Ruined That Too

Jamie used to respect this guy, her old professor. His thoughts on 'Constitution' and 'impeachment' are YIKES.

If we wrote about it every time the Daily Caller published bootlicking bullshit with no legal or factual basis, we wouldn't have time to do anything else. But this isn't just your typical Daily Caller drivel. It was "written" (allegedly) by none other than Steven Calabresi, one of the founders of the Federalist Society. And it is one of the dumbest things I have ever read.

It's bad. It's really bad. It's bad even for 2019. It's bad even for a defense of Donald Trump. I might even go as far as to say it's bad even for the Daily Caller, and the fact that that's even a possibility should tell you how bad it really is.

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2020 democratic primary

Democratic Establishment Wondering Just How Stuck They Are With Joe Biden

If the tag's still attached, then they have options.

People -- well, mostly white dudes -- like to claim that Hillary Clinton was a sucktastic candidate. However, there's a reason her only serious competition in 2016 was the socialist. It wasn't because the DNC "cleared the field" for Queen Hillary's coronation. People just didn't want to get their asses beat.

It's quite a different primary race this time. So many Democrats are running it's hard to notice when they drop out. It's like raking leaves. They still keep piling up. Joe Biden is the mostly undisputed frontrunner, and that excites no one, not even his wife. He was the non-threatening choice, perfectly capable of defeating Donald Trump with his high-octane electability. But according to a recent article in the New York Times, the "movers and shakers" in the party are having second thoughts. Maybe they finally Googled "Joe Biden." Regardless, according to the Times, they're asking themselves, "Is there anybody else?"

New York Times

Please stop already with the "Michelle Obama for president" nonsense. Michelle and Barack are out there living their best lives. She's not giving that up to become anyone's personal Oprah. There's an actual black woman already running in this primary. Support her.

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Immigrants

Donald Trump Libelslandering The DACA Kids, So That's A Surprise

You know who's really a 'hardened criminal'? Half his administration!

With the Trump administration's attempt to shut down the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program being argued before the Supreme Court today, the Great Man took the opportunity to tweet about it. Remember how he used to say his "heart just breaks" for the plight of folks who were brought to the US as little kids and through no fault of their own don't have legal status because of their illegally border-crossing parents (who are of course scum)? He even briefly said this about DACA kids, shortly after he decided to end DACA and then found out that wasn't popular.

Trump's opinion of those fine young men and women is as variable as anything else rattling around in his head, so of course this morning he decided the best strategy would be to simply lie through his teeth about DACA recipients:

You know how it is: Sure, they may be cute and innocent-looking when they're young, but whatever country in Mexico they're from Donald Trump knows they're murderers and rapists, they sell drugs, and some, he supposes, are good people, although that last bit is open to revision for the 2020 campaign.

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Impeachment

Rudy's Confess-A-Crime Podcast Will Be Just Like Build-A-Bear, Except Crimes Not Bears!

You know, allegedly.

POP QUIZ: If you were a person serving as the unpaid lawyer to the most criminal president in American history, AND you were also under federal investigation and just had to retain defense lawyers because of your extracurricular activities in pressuring foreign countries to meddle in the 2020 election campaign for the benefit of that president, AND your Ukrainian-American Chucklefuck pals who were part of that scheme were under indictment and living in Ankle Bracelet Jail, AND you had a well-known propensity for accidentally confessing your crimes and your president's crimes whenever you go on TV or when your ass texts a reporter or when your fingers text a reporter or when your ass calls a reporter or when your mouth calls a reporter, ON A SCALE OF ONE TO "LOL OH MY GOD NO" ...

How much should you start a podcast?

Where you'll have zero adult supervision and can just ... say things?

And you will not have 17 hot dogs in your mouth at all times to prevent you from just ... saying things?

Yeah well nobody ever accused Rudy Giuliani of having good judgment:

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Trump impeachment hearings

Bolton Tells Mulvaney To Find His Own Mustache Ride

A lawsplainer!

If Mick Mulvaney and John Bolton were drowning and you could only save one, which would it be? Never mind, DON'T ANSWER THAT. The point is, these ghouls are suing, and unfortunately they couldn't both lose. Apparently Bolton's former deputy kicked Mulvaney in the pink bits and forced him to go find his own lawsuit. More or less.

On October 25, John Bolton's former deputy at the NSA, Charles Kupperman, sued the House of Representatives, which had subpoenaed him to testify, and Donald Trump, who had ordered him not to. Kupperman argued that he was stuck between two competing authorities and needed the court to break the tie. Although Bolton isn't directly involved in this case, it's viewed as a proxy for his interests because he and Kupperman share the same lawyers and because Bolton had made clear that he would testify if ordered to do so by a court.

Even though the case was put on an expedited docket, it would very likely drag out through the rest of the year. And the House doesn't have time to screw around with Kupperman and by proxy Bolton, particularly since they already have several State Department and National Security Council witnesses in pocket. So the House dropped the subpoena and moved to get the case dismissed, reasoning that the decision on Don McGahn's testimony, expected within a month, should cover Kupperman and Bolton. And although Bolton and Kupperman said they had no intention of being guided by McGahn's order, they were delighted to have the threat of congressional contempt removed.

But then, Mick Mulvaney tried to horn in and make it a threesome, just him, Kupperman and (on the DL) John Bolton. Bow Chicka Bow Bow! Reasoning that he was in an analogous position to Kupperman -- that is, stuck between Trump and the House -- Mulvaney tried to join the suit against his own beloved boss and Shifty Schiff. Which is an odd position, not least because Mulvaney and Bolton have always despised each other. But no one ever accused Mick Mulvaney of being a man of principle, so, there you have it.

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Class War

Oh Gee! Why Ever Would Arizona Payday Lenders Want To Ban Minimum Wage Increases?

Balls of steel, these people.

Some people have trouble advocating for what they want in life. They don't want to look pushy, or greedy — they don't want to inconvenience others.

Those people are not payday lenders in Arizona.

Well. Technically nobody's a payday lender in Arizona. The predatory practice has been illegal in the state since 2010, when the law allowing it to exist expired. In 2008, payday lenders got a proposition on the ballot to allow the practice to continue, and it was soundly defeated, 60-40. Since then, instead of payday loans, these creeps have switched over to "title loans," which is basically the same thing except that it means that poor people people put their car titles up as collateral for a short term, high interest loan — up to 204% APR.

This grossness pushed a group called Arizonans for Fair Lending to put a new measure on the ballot for 2020 — one that would place restrictions on this type of loan as well. And you might well guess what happened next!

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Media/Entertainment

Black White Nationalist Candace Owens Blames Obama For Inventing The Racism She Filed Lawsuits Over

Thanks, Obama!

Tomi Lahren's blackface performance art character, Candace Owens, appeared on "The Ingraham Angle" last night, and it was just a coupla white chicks sitting around talking about race and Pete Buttigieg. Mayor Lochinvar of the Democratic Party got in a spot of trouble the other day when he implied that Barack Obama was a big loser whose incompetence led to Donald Trump raining hell on the American people. Evan Halper at the Los Angeles Times later clarified that Buttigieg didn't actually call out the "failures of the Obama era" but instead decried the "failures of the old normal" like the dismissive "OK, Boomer!" Millennial he is. That's some pretty sloppy reporting there. But after the misquote's retraction, Buttigieg followed up with some nice words about Obama and everyone moved on.

Unfortunately, Laura Ingragam is both of evil and capable of simple inference. She thought there was “wisdom" in Buttigieg's criticism of Obama. She looked so happy when she put it together, like she was carving into a sous-vided baby cooked to perfect medium rare.

Keep reading... Show less
2020 Congressional Elections

Maya Rockeymoore Cummings Running To Steal All Late Husband Elijah's Legislative Badass Awards

Ready set go!

Maya Rockeymoore Cummings, the widow of Elijah Cummings, announced yesterday she plans to run for the congressional seat he held before he died October 17. She told the Baltimore Sun in an interview that while she's devastated by losing her spouse, "his spirit is with me," and "I'm going to run this race and I'm going to run it hard, as if he's still right here by my side."

Just in case you missed the funeral service in Baltimore for Elijah Cummings, here's Maya Rockeymoore Cummings's moving farewell to her husband:

WATCH: Maya Rockeymoore-Cummings' full remembrance at her husband Rep. Elijah Cummings' funeral www.youtube.com

She's a hell of a speaker, and with her announcement, automatically became the frontrunner for the Seventh Congressional District seat. We like her!

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Russia

Tulsi Gabbard Sends List Of Demands To Hillary Clinton, READ THE TRANSCRIPT!11!!1!!1!1

Everybody is saying Tulsi's list of demands for Hillary Clinton is perfect.

On Monday, Tulsi Gabbard threw down the gauntlet in the Democratic primary that exists entirely in her mind, in which she is fighting Hillary Clinton to the death either for the Democratic nomination, or maybe for possession of a secret key that grants #InfinityPower to the person lucky enough to possess it. After Gabbard threw down said gauntlet, Hillary reportedly kind of looked at it and immediately went back to reading her book or making chili or giving a speech on children's healthcare, you know, whatever she was doing at the time.

Gabbard has sent Clinton A LETTER. And not just any letter! It is a LIST OF DEMANDS.

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News

Mick? The Knife. Wonkagenda for Tues., Nov. 12, 2019

Mulvaney gets embussened, the 2020 horse race, and Nikki Haley's truthiness. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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