Senate A**hole Caucus Folds, Government Shutdown Averted!

Huzzay! After several days of Republican senators huffing and puffing and threatening to force a government shutdown over Joe Biden's vaccine mandates, the Senate last night passed a bill to temporarily fund the government for 11 weeks, meaning that government won't be furloughing "nonessential" employees or closing down any agency websites tonight at midnight. Heck, with climate change causing weirdly mild temperatures in much of the country, you might could even go camping in some national parks if you want. or at least they won't be shutting down.

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Don't Tell An Anti-Vaxxer To Go Eat Dirt, Because They WILL Take It Literally!

If we were worse people, we would all be millionaires right now. Billionaires, probably. Because if we have learned anything over this pandemic, it is that there is a frighteningly large segment of the population who will turn their noses up at anything an actual doctor says, but who will guzzle bleach no-questions-asked at the suggestion of some random Instagram person. Each time they come out with a new thing — colloidal silver, white oleander, bleach enemas — it seems like they have hit rock bottom, or should have. "Well, at least it can't get any more bizarre than this," you said to yourself, probably, when they were putting horse paste up their butts.

Oh how wrong you (probably) were. Because this whole damn time they were eating and bathing in "magic dirt." Go figure!

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LIVE BLOG: Partisan GOP SCOTUS Hacks Hear Arguments In 15-Week MS Abortion Ban

Today is a terrible day at the Supreme Court.

The nine justices, most of whom are partisan Republican hacks, and several of whose nominations and confirmations were entirely illegitimate, will hear oral arguments in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the case over whether Mississippi's 15-week abortion ban — and by extension all pre-viability bans — is constitutional. In other words, this is the case that could overturn Roe, or gut it beyond recognition.

So let's liveblog the terribleness together! For backgrounders and more analysis, check out SCOTUSblog and NPR and CNN and hey, if you're still bored after that, google it.

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January 6

DC National Guard Commanders Aren't Going To Let Mike Flynn's Brother Pin This Sh*t On Them

No punches pulled here.

Former DC National Guard leaders are coming out swinging against a November 16 Inspector General Report that appeared to exonerate top Army staff and blame the slow deployment of guardsmen to the Capitol on January 6 on DCNG commanders. Politico got its hands on a memo written by Army Colonel Earl G. Matthews summarizing his own recollections of the day and those of Major General (Retired) William J. Walker, U.S. Army, who served as commanding general of the DCNG, and it is blistering.

Matthews begins: "The purpose of this memorandum is to outline and detail the myriad inaccuracies, false or misleading statements, or examples of faulty analysis contained in a recent publicly released Department of Defense Inspector General (DoDIG) report of its investigation into the Department of Defense’s actions leading up to and in response to the violent assault on the U.S. Capitol which occurred on 6 January 2021." He then tears into the IG for relying on anonymous, self-serving accounts, full of obvious contradictions, to produce a report "replete with factual inaccuracies, discrepancies and faulty analysis" resting on "demonstrably false testimony or statements."

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GOP Will Outlaw Abortion. The Next Step Is A Mystery, Even To Them!

It's your Sunday show rundown!

When the Supreme Court decided to take up Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, and GOP-appointed hack justices on the Supreme Court heard oral arguments, it became clear that Roe will probably be lost.

But much like dogs who finally catch the car they've been chasing, the GOP doesn't seem to have a coherent plan on what to do next.

Let's survey the territory:

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Right Wing Extremism

Nikki Haley, Still An A-Hole

Haley acts as if Democrats are the insurrection party. No one’s buying that crap.

Former South Carolina GOP Gov. Nikki Haley reminded everyone she still exists Sunday. Maybe she felt a little jealous because Senator Tim Scott is considered a top contender for the GOP vice presidential slot in 2024. She’s not content to just fade into the background as a loyal Donald Trump enabler who casually suggests President Joe Biden is senile. She’s also demonstrating that she’s just as gross as GOP sedition caucus members Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert.

Here’s what Haley tweeted on Sunday, God’s day for watching football:

HALEY: When I was governor, I worked with Democrats who still believed in America. I didn’t share their views on policy, but at least we agreed on some basic principles. Those days are over. The Democratic Party has become the Socialist Party.

Yep, when Haley was elected governor in the distant past of 2010, Democrats still believed in America, that shining city on a hill. Now the Democratic Party is the Socialist Party, led by noted socialist Joe Biden from Stalingrad and his radical Senate accomplices Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema.

Bolsheviks all.

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