And A Little Trans Girl Shall Lead Them

In our post about Texas's new most insanest gambit to hurt transgender kids — you know, the one where they want to reclassify gender-affirming treatment as child abuse, making both parents and the doctors who provide the care culpable — we included this great quote from a 10-year-old trans girl named Kai Shappley who testified in this week's hearing in the Texas lege, because it was just so great.

"I do not like spending my free time asking adults to make good choices," Shappley said. "Texas legislators have been attacking me since Pre-K. I am in fourth grade now. When it comes to bills that target trans youth, I immediately feel angry."

She does not LIKE spending her free time asking adults to make good choices. Neither do we, replied Wonkette, who is an adult. She feels angry when lawmakers create bills to hurt her. We do too.

We hadn't seen the video of Kai testifying, though. Now we have, and you're going to want to, as well.

Look at this dear child.

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At Last, Men Have Invented Pink Gloves To Protect Our Delicate Hands From Our Gross Periods

In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax, and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or the spleen, and it likewise is subject to prolapsus downwards, and in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights also in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and, on the whole, the womb is like an animal within an animal. — Aretaeus of Cappadocia, 1st century Greek physician, on the "What The Uterus Is, Probably. We Guess."

Hey ladies and other menstruating people! Are you always bleeding all over your hands when you're, you know, bleeding out of your wherever? Do you then have to walk around the rest of the day with bloody hands, probably infecting people with all kinds of ... vag-germs?

There's gotta be a better way! Giphy

Well! Finally, after thousands and thousands of years, some dudes have finally come to the rescue! In an appearance this week on Höhle der Löwen, which seems to be the German version of Shark Tank, entrepreneurs Andre Ritterswuerden and Eugen Raimkulow, two cisgender men, were thrilled to present their new invention, which they hoped just might change the way we all menstruate.

Behold!

Pinky gloves

What is that, you say? Is that a pink disposable glove? You bet it is! And what is it for? To wear while you are changing a tampon or a pad, so you don't bleed gross period blood all over your hands and then get caught "red handed" as a menstruating person, because that is definitely a thing that happens on the regular.

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Senate Republicans Meet Black Woman Biden Nominee, Betcha Can't Guess What Happened Next

Wednesday saw the latest chapter in Senate Republicans' war on all Joe Biden nominees who are women, racial minorities, or both. And for the second time in a week, we get to call Texas GOP Senator John Cornyn a goddamned moron.

Kristen Clarke is President Biden's insanely qualified nominee to head the Civil Rights Division at the Department of Justice, and if confirmed, she will be the first Black woman to serve in the job. She's a fierce civil rights lawyer, a staunch advocate for voting rights, and even has the support of institutional cop groups like the Major Cities Chiefs Association. The New York Times has more on her qualifications:

She rejected a corporate law job to join the Justice Department, working in the Civil Rights Division during the George W. Bush administration. She worked at the voting rights project at the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and at the Civil Rights Bureau in the New York attorney general's office, where she led an initiative to protect the right of Jewish employees to observe the Sabbath and religious holidays.

In 2015, Ms. Clarke became the leader of the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, an organization formed during the civil rights movement.

She sounds like exactly the person who should be running the Civil Rights Division at DOJ.

So of course Republicans have decided to present her as a cop-hating radical who hates all white people. You're either with the Republicans or you fight for civil rights and voting rights these days. You can't be both.

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Feminism To Blame For Daunte Wright's Death, Everything Else

Just a few weeks after being kicked out of YouTube's Partnership Program for a bizarrely racist rant about Black farmers, conservative "comedian" Steven Crowder now has something to say about the killing of Daunte Wright.

It's not good.

Conservatives have a vested interest in pretending that systemic racism against Black people doesn't exist, particularly in police departments, as well as pretending that there is absolutely no kind of problem with cops killing or otherwise brutalizing unarmed Black people. Because if there is a problem with cops killing unarmed Black people, everything else falls apart. So Steven Crowder has figured out a way for conservatives to be able to admit that maybe Daunte Wright did not deserve to be killed for an out-of-place air freshener.

After seeing the video of the shooting, Crowder determined that the problem wasn't racism, or an extreme overreaction by police officers to an air freshener, but feminism. Because Kimberly Ann Potter is a woman and women shouldn't be police officers, but feminism lied to them and said they could be. Even though it is a job for the menfolk.

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Religion

Yoga Causes 'Psychotic Episodes,' Strokes, Hinduism, Say Alabama Christian Groups

What even?

As you may or may not be aware, there has been a whole debate going on in Alabama about whether or not it should be legal to teach yoga in schools. It seems like a strange debate to be having, in this, the year 2021, but apparently things are different in Alabama.

Teaching yoga has been illegal in Alabama schools for almost 30 years, basically because Alabama conservatives think it is some kind of gateway drug to Hinduism, and also because they're kind of bitter about the whole "no prayer in school" thing. Some Christians also think it opens people up to "demonic possession."

However, recently, there's been a push to legalize yoga in Alabama. This largely comes from Democratic state Rep. Jeremy Gray, who sponsored the bill and who has practiced yoga since he was first introduced to it while he was playing football in college. The bill to lift the ban and allow yoga in schools — so long as kids didn't actually learn any Sanskrit — passed the House in March but had stalled in the Senate, largely due to these "concerns." It finally passed the Senate judiciary last week and will be debated on the floor this week, and some Christian groups are ready for a fight.

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Right Wing Extremism

‘America First’ Comes To GOP Wrapped In The Flag, Carrying A Burning Cross

We’ve seen all this before.

House Republicans without an "inside racist voice" created a fuss this weekend when they banded together to form an openly white supremacist caucus within a GOP that's already pretty racist. Shocking absolutely no one, the founding members were Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia, Paul Gosar of Arizona, Louie Gohmert of Texas, and Matt Gaetz of Florida and potentially your finer federal prisons.

Republican leadership and rank-and-file members alike decried the AFC's "nativist" sentiments. House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, who enables the useless idiots in his caucus, invoked Abraham Lincoln, who radically advanced civil rights while incurring the (fatal) wrath of Southern racists. Modern Republicans have demonstrated zero interest in doing either. They won't even support legislation defending minority voting rights, but hey, they'll keep calling themselves the "Party of Lincoln" because it's not like he's alive to sue for defamation.

The so-called “America First Caucus" claimed it would follow in the one-term loser's footsteps, which we hope means not winning re-election. The AFC released a statement declaring its willingness to "step on some toes and sacrifice sacred cows for the good of the American nation" — unless, of course, those toes belong to that mooing fool from Mar-a-Lago.

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Conspiracy theories

Actor Jim Caviezel Warns Of 'The Adrenochroming Of Children,' Goes Full QAnon

That is obviously not a thing.

Actor Jim Caviezel — who played Jesus in Mel Gibson's The Passion of The Christ, co-starred with that one weird dude from Lost in Person of Interest, and played a guy named Darryl in an episode of Murder, She Wrote that is probably the only thing I've ever actually seen him in — has some thoughts about some things. Things that are not real things.

In an appearance at "a right-wing COVID conspiracy theorist conference" on Friday, Caviezel promoted his upcoming movie, The Sound of Freedom — which is meant to be the story of the actually-quite-sketchy anti-human-trafficking organization Operation Underground Railroad.

And it actually got weirder from there.

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