And A Little Trans Girl Shall Lead Them

In our post about Texas's new most insanest gambit to hurt transgender kids — you know, the one where they want to reclassify gender-affirming treatment as child abuse, making both parents and the doctors who provide the care culpable — we included this great quote from a 10-year-old trans girl named Kai Shappley who testified in this week's hearing in the Texas lege, because it was just so great.

"I do not like spending my free time asking adults to make good choices," Shappley said. "Texas legislators have been attacking me since Pre-K. I am in fourth grade now. When it comes to bills that target trans youth, I immediately feel angry."

She does not LIKE spending her free time asking adults to make good choices. Neither do we, replied Wonkette, who is an adult. She feels angry when lawmakers create bills to hurt her. We do too.

We hadn't seen the video of Kai testifying, though. Now we have, and you're going to want to, as well.

Look at this dear child.

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At Last, Men Have Invented Pink Gloves To Protect Our Delicate Hands From Our Gross Periods

In the middle of the flanks of women lies the womb, a female viscus, closely resembling an animal; for it is moved of itself hither and thither in the flanks, also upwards in a direct line to below the cartilage of the thorax, and also obliquely to the right or to the left, either to the liver or the spleen, and it likewise is subject to prolapsus downwards, and in a word, it is altogether erratic. It delights also in fragrant smells, and advances towards them; and it has an aversion to fetid smells, and flees from them; and, on the whole, the womb is like an animal within an animal. — Aretaeus of Cappadocia, 1st century Greek physician, on the "What The Uterus Is, Probably. We Guess."

Hey ladies and other menstruating people! Are you always bleeding all over your hands when you're, you know, bleeding out of your wherever? Do you then have to walk around the rest of the day with bloody hands, probably infecting people with all kinds of ... vag-germs?

There's gotta be a better way! Giphy

Well! Finally, after thousands and thousands of years, some dudes have finally come to the rescue! In an appearance this week on Höhle der Löwen, which seems to be the German version of Shark Tank, entrepreneurs Andre Ritterswuerden and Eugen Raimkulow, two cisgender men, were thrilled to present their new invention, which they hoped just might change the way we all menstruate.


Pinky gloves

What is that, you say? Is that a pink disposable glove? You bet it is! And what is it for? To wear while you are changing a tampon or a pad, so you don't bleed gross period blood all over your hands and then get caught "red handed" as a menstruating person, because that is definitely a thing that happens on the regular.

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Senate Republicans Meet Black Woman Biden Nominee, Betcha Can't Guess What Happened Next

Wednesday saw the latest chapter in Senate Republicans' war on all Joe Biden nominees who are women, racial minorities, or both. And for the second time in a week, we get to call Texas GOP Senator John Cornyn a goddamned moron.

Kristen Clarke is President Biden's insanely qualified nominee to head the Civil Rights Division at the Department of Justice, and if confirmed, she will be the first Black woman to serve in the job. She's a fierce civil rights lawyer, a staunch advocate for voting rights, and even has the support of institutional cop groups like the Major Cities Chiefs Association. The New York Times has more on her qualifications:

She rejected a corporate law job to join the Justice Department, working in the Civil Rights Division during the George W. Bush administration. She worked at the voting rights project at the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund, and at the Civil Rights Bureau in the New York attorney general's office, where she led an initiative to protect the right of Jewish employees to observe the Sabbath and religious holidays.

In 2015, Ms. Clarke became the leader of the Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, an organization formed during the civil rights movement.

She sounds like exactly the person who should be running the Civil Rights Division at DOJ.

So of course Republicans have decided to present her as a cop-hating radical who hates all white people. You're either with the Republicans or you fight for civil rights and voting rights these days. You can't be both.

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Feminism To Blame For Daunte Wright's Death, Everything Else

Just a few weeks after being kicked out of YouTube's Partnership Program for a bizarrely racist rant about Black farmers, conservative "comedian" Steven Crowder now has something to say about the killing of Daunte Wright.

It's not good.

Conservatives have a vested interest in pretending that systemic racism against Black people doesn't exist, particularly in police departments, as well as pretending that there is absolutely no kind of problem with cops killing or otherwise brutalizing unarmed Black people. Because if there is a problem with cops killing unarmed Black people, everything else falls apart. So Steven Crowder has figured out a way for conservatives to be able to admit that maybe Daunte Wright did not deserve to be killed for an out-of-place air freshener.

After seeing the video of the shooting, Crowder determined that the problem wasn't racism, or an extreme overreaction by police officers to an air freshener, but feminism. Because Kimberly Ann Potter is a woman and women shouldn't be police officers, but feminism lied to them and said they could be. Even though it is a job for the menfolk.

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History Facts

Ted Cruz Being Incorrect A-Hole About Civil Rights History Again

Maybe he's just lying! It's possible.

Republicans think Black people are stupid. At least that's what it looks like to me whenever Republicans trot out their tired “Democrats are the real racists" talking points, as if Black people are confused and just need Ted Fucking Cruz to set us straight.

Tuesday, the Senate Judiciary Committee will hold a hearing called "Jim Crow 2021: The Latest Assault on the Right to Vote," featuring testimony from voting rights activist Stacey Abrams; Sherrilyn Ifill, president and director-counsel of the NAACP Legal Defense Fund; Carol Anderson, Charles Howard Candler professor of African American Studies at Emory University; and Senator Raphael Warnock. These are Black people with a documented history of Blackness in America, but professional asshole Cruz thought it funny to troll them.


Cruz declared:

Impressive candor for Senate Dems to hold a hearing on the history of Jim Crow laws.

Bull Connor
Nathan Bedford Forrest (founder of KKK)
George Wallace
Robert Byrd ALL Democrats.

Dems wrote Jim Crow. Sadly, they've got a lot of expertise in bigotry & discrimination.

I'd suggest Cruz go fuck himself, but no one deserves that.

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National Politics

John Boehner's Magical Historical Revisionism Book Tour!​

It's your Sunday show rundown!

Former GOP House Speaker John Boehner made two leathery appearances on CNN's "State Of The Union" and NBC's "Meet The Press" this weekend as he hawked his new book. But while some in Washington (and on Wonkette!) have chuckled at some of the excerpts, Boehner's "Let's Rewrite History" book tour is a good example of what's wrong with politics these days.

On CNN, host Dana Bash began by talking about Boehner's book as if it contained funny anecdotes about being an "SNL" writer/cast member, rather than the guy who used to be third in into the presidency.

BASH: Speaker Boehner, I have to say I have covered -- I have read a lot of memoirs in my life. This one is definitely the funniest and probably the most candid. So, thank you for that. And we have a lot to talk about in the book.

But I first want to start with the moment that we're in, in this country, where we have had yet another mass shooting Thursday night, a couple overnight. Eight people in Indianapolis -- that's the one on Thursday -- were killed, 47 mass shootings in the United States in just over the last month. And I know you know this. Polls show the vast majorities of Americans support at least some new gun restrictions. When you were speaker, there were 20 first graders who were killed in Newtown, Connecticut. Looking back now, do you regret not passing new gun laws then? And do you want to see Republicans come to the table now at least to pass something?

Wow! That escalated quickly. But while the subject change was disorienting, Boehner's answers were infuriating.

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joe biden

GOP Mad Biden Kicking Ass Just By Doing Popular Stuff Americans Actually Like

Now, this you really do love to see.

President Joe Biden passed a $1.9 trillion COVID-19 relief bill that every single lousy Republican voted against. He's also set to move forward on a $2 trillion infrastructure bill Republicans oppose because it'll benefit elderly deadbeats. This has reportedly left Republicans befuddled. They feel helpless to stop the president before he helps more people.

We're 88 glorious days into the Biden administration. Republicans insist that "unified Democratic control of government has resulted in too much liberalism," which they apparently define as people not starving or dying from COVID-19. Affordable broadband is also apparently a communist plot.

Voters, however, support Biden's policies, and Republicans can't keep all of them from voting. New polls from Pew Research Center and Morning Consult/Politico show Biden enjoying 59 and 60 percent approval ratings, respectively. Quinnipiac has Biden at just 48 percent, but a closer look reveals the big challenge for Republicans: 94 percent of Democrats support the president while only 87 percent of Republicans disapprove of him. (Also ten percent in that poll gave no opinion.)

By comparison, President Sore Loser's approval rating after 100 miserable days in office was just 42 percent, the worst ever in modern history. (Pew had him at just 39 percent.)


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