GOP: If Biden Won’t Let Violent Parents Threaten School Board Members, Is This Even America?

Republicans have lied for a few weeks now about how the Department of Justice, under the leadership of noted radical Attorney General Merrick Garland, is going to lock up parents who speak heresies at local school board meetings.

Senator Rick Scott from Florida tweeted on October 5:

Joe Biden's attorney general wants the FBI to go after parents for speaking out at school board meetings to protect kids from radical curriculum like critical race theory.

What actually happened is that the National School Boards Association asked President Joe Biden's administration for help because unhinged parents, high on Newsmax, were threatening their members. This has to do with escalating battles over both "critical race theory" (not critical race theory but rather teaching that racism in America exists) and COVID-19 prevention measures in schools, such as mask mandates. Republicans have selective amnesia about the parents who get into fist fights with teachers because of the school's mask policy or the people who surround a school board member's car, like the T. rex in Jurassic Park.

The NSBA provided the DOJ with more than "20 instances of threats, harassment, disruption, and acts of intimidation that have transpired during school board meetings and that are targeted at school officials." The DOJ was asked to "investigate, intercept, and prevent the current threats and acts of violence against public school officials" through existing laws against, you know, killing people or threatening to do so. However, Republicans leapt on this opportunity to claim Biden is siccing the thought police on innocent parents who are politely asking that teachers don't make their kids watch Roots until they cry.

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There's Embarrassing, And There's Mollie Hemingway Writing About Spending Five Hours With Donald Trump

Garbage human Federalist idiot Mollie Hemingway has some crap book to promote, so she has published excerpts from five hours of interviews she conducted with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago. She is pretty proud of all this.

The excerpt begins with Hemingway taking a picture with Trump, or at least trying to. Trump didn't like how he looked in the first one. In the second, he found himself attractive — delusional bullshit features heavily here — but concluded that Hemingway still wasn't attractive enough. "I like me, but I still don't like her," he said.

Trump dropped everything and decided to teach me how to take a picture. Somehow I'd reached my 40s without knowing how.

And Hemingway accepted his instruction.

He told me to angle my body, put my hand on my hip, and a few other tricks. "You can trust me: my wife is a supermodel," he said, as if I were unaware. Margo showed him the resulting picture.

He looked at it, paused briefly, and said, "Well there you go," clearly pleased with the result. He was right, it looked much better.

Donald Trump, always there to show a woman where to place her hips so she doesn't appear so disgusting to him. Dear God.

What follows is several grafs of Hemingway apparently attempting to avoid saying there's something wrong with Trump's brain.

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Sorry, LGBTQ+ Kids, Greg Abbott's Got An Election To Win

It's a great day to shit on LGBTQ kids in Texas!

Well, that's every day in Texas, to be fair. But today they are doing it in spectacularly nasty fashion by disabling a state website that linked to a suicide hotline for LGBTQ+ kids in foster care because it might jeopardize Gov. Greg Abbott's electoral prospects.

Sorry about your mental health, kids, but we can't be using state resources to help you when Ol' Greg's got a primary challenger.

And what a beaut that challenger is! Check out Don Huffines, the real estate developer hoping to wrest the GOP nomination from Abbott next year.

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Charlie Kirk So Mad White Conservative Men Banned From Sports Now

Here's one more conniption for your file of white men losing it because Las Vegas Raiders coach Jon Gruden had to resign over all his racist sexist homophobic gross bad emails. Surprise, it is Charlie Kirk, and he is making the face you see above.

Kirk knows what's really happening, why Gruden got pushed out, and it's because white Catholic conservative menfolk just aren't welcome anymore in woke sports like football. This is of course by the decree of Roger Goodell, who is we guess the dictator tyrant prince of Critical Race Theory Cancel Cultures, on top of his regular duties as NFL commissioner.

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National Politics

GOP Donors' Favorite Dem Kyrsten Sinema Spent Last Week In Europe For Some Important Reason

This looks bad because it maybe is bad.

It's been three months since Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema declared her opposition to Joe Biden's Build Back Better reconciliation bill, and no one has any idea what she actually wants. She's said she won't negotiate in public through the media, and she doesn't negotiate all that much in private with other Democrats. Sounds like she's a bad negotiator, unless her intent to not negotiate at all.

Mother Jones reports that during the past six weeks, as Sinema stalled and frustrated Democrats nationwide, some high-profile GOP donors have maxed out their legal contributions to her.

Stan Hubbard, a Minnesota billionaire who since at least 2000 has regularly written six-figure checks to the RNC and who supported GOP presidential hopefuls like Scott Walker (before giving to a pro-Trump super-PAC) wrote Sinema a $2,900 check on Sept. 29. And both Jimmy Haslam, the owner of the Pilot truck stop chain and the NFL's Cleveland Brown's, and his wife Susan gave Sinema's campaign $2,900 a piece on Septemeber 30. Haslam is a reliable GOP donor who has given at least $425,000 to the Senate Leadership Fund—a super-PAC set up by allies of Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell to help the GOP take control of the Senate—as well as regular maximum donations to the GOP's House and Senate party committees.

Hmmm. That seems suspicious.

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January 6

Capitol Rioter May Claim Trump Authorized His Tasing Of Officer Michael Fanone

That's one way to go.

In the last year, many of those who attacked the Capitol on January 6 have claimed, in their defenses, that they should be found innocent because they were just following Donald Trump's orders. Perhaps most famously, the lawyer for the QAnon shaman argued that his client was not only "just following orders" but was also brainwashed by Trump. A defense that, notably, did not even work for Patty Hearst.

Now, the public defenders representing Daniel Rodriguez, one of the accused Capitol rioters who allegedly attacked Officer Michael Fanone — indeed, the one charged with tasing him with a stun gun, causing him to have a mild heart attack — are putting forth a similar but even more specific defense. According to recently filed court papers, they may pursue a defense of "public authority," meaning that they would argue that the attack on Fanone was legal because Rodriguez believed he was acting on behalf of a "law enforcement agency or federal intelligence agency," meaning Trump.

The defense relies on United States v. Barker, in which the appeals court reversed the convictions of two Watergate burglars, Bernard Barker and Eugenio Martinez, on the grounds that they legitimately believed breaking into and burglarizing Daniel Ellsberg's psychiatrist's office was legal and part of a covert intelligence assignment for the United States Government, because the guy who told them to do it was E. Howard Hunt, a Nixon White House official they had worked under at the CIA. While (duh) Barker and Martinez and the rest of the White House Plumbers were all convicted of other things, the appeals court determined, fairly, that in that particular instance they had every reason to believe what they were doing was legal.

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