Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson Takes Oath As Supreme Court Throws Another Tire On The Dumpster Fire

"In the midst of death, life persists. In the midst of untruth, truth persists. In the midst of darkness, light persists." — Mahatma Gandhi, 1931

Almost a century later, we are in the midst of a lot of fuckin' darkness, with much of it coming from the Supreme Court. In just the past week, six robed lunatics with life tenure have stolen women's right to bodily autonomy, overruled Americans' expressed desire to prevent their neighbors from walking around with murder sticks strapped to their hips, and gutted the EPA's ability to regulate carbon emissions to mitigate the effects of the boiling cauldron we've turned the planet into for our children. And for next term, they're taking up a case designed to let gerrymandered state legislators seize the ballots and cast electoral votes without regard for the will of the citizens.

It's not good.

And yet, in the midst of so much death and untruth and darkness, light does persist. Today Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson took the oath of office at the Supreme Court. Justice Jackson, the first Black female justice on the nation's highest court, and only the third Black justice ever, has been holding it together her whole life. After graduating from public school in Miami, she attended Harvard College and Harvard Law, then clerked for three federal judges, including Justice Stephen Breyer, whom she replaces today. She's been a federal public defender and an advocate for sentencing reform as vice chair of the US Sentencing Commission. And she's been a federal district and circuit court judge in DC, before being elevated to the Supreme Court.

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Raphael Warnock MAYBE POSSIBLY Doing Very Well But Maybe He Isn't, You Don't Know

Look, there are a whole bunch of disclaimers, and this is news that should make absolutely nobody relax and go eat a peach and forget to vote in November, but it is possible Senator Raphael Warnock is doing very well in Georgia.

A poll (ONE POLL) from Quinnipiac University (ONE QUINNIPIAC UNIVERSITY) says Warnock is 10 points ahead of professional robot ballerina rocket scientist cowboy porn star Power Ranger spaceman Herschel Walker.



This would be very good! But again, it is one poll (ONE POLL) and it doesn't look like this race has been polled very much, and this is definitely the biggest lead that's manifested for Warnock, but on the other hand this is the only major poll taken after the past month of total fucking embarrassment for Herschel (who's got multiple personalities? JESUS OUR LORD), so maybe that's really the way the numbers are trending.

But on the other other hand, secret Wonkette operative "Florida numbers guy" says Quinnipiac polling blows a whole goat in the South.

So who knows?

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Liz Cheney Just Saying GET YOUR ASS IN A CHAIR, PAT CIPOLLONE, YOU F*CKER

Lately during public hearings of the House January 6 Select Committee, Liz Cheney takes time to very personally put former White House Counsel Pat Cipollone on blast over his refusal to testify publicly. At the end of last Thursday's hearing, Cheney said, "Our evidence shows that Pat Cipollone and his office tried to do what was right. They tried to stop a number of President Trump’s plans for Jan. 6." So come on over here, Pat, and let Liz Cheney put a gold star on your Trapper Keeper!

After Cheney said that, sources started telling journalists that Cip was already being really very cooperative, but blah blah blah "serious institutional concerns and privilege issues" blah blah blah. Fuck off.

Dude knows everything, and Cheney knows it, and everybody else knows it.

We know Cipollone threatened to resignmultiple times over Trump's coup attempts, and that he called the letters former DOJ douche Jeffrey Clark wanted to send to the states instructing them how to toss out their election results a "murder-suicide pact."

According to Cassidy Hutchinson's testimony, on the morning of January 6, Cipollone was freaking the fuck out trying to make sure nobody would take President Ketchup Smears to the Capitol, because they would get "charged with every crime imaginable" if he went there. He said "please keep in touch with me." From the same testimony, we know Mark Meadows reportedly told Cip during the riot that Trump believed Mike Pence deserved whatever was happening to him in the Capitol that day.

During yesterday's hearing, Liz Cheney asked Hutchinson if the White House Counsel's Office was concerned about the things Donald Trump planned to say in his speech to the buck-toothed hordes that day, the hordes we now know Trump was well-fucking-aware were armed to the teeth. (He knew they weren't there to hurt him.) Yes, the White House Counsel's Office did have concerns about that!

He knows everything. As Charlie Sykes wrote this morning, if "Hutchinson’s testimony wasn’t the John Dean moment, she made it clear that the testimony of the former White House counsel just might be."

And today Cheney is reiterating her calls for Cipollone to GET IN A CHAIR FUCKER NOW FUCKING NOW OH MY GOD JESUS FUCK.


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Kamala Harris Knew Kavanaugh And Gorsuch Lied To Her Face, Jesus Christ, Duh

In case you've been wondering where President Joe Biden has been this week, he's in Europe, doing things like "G-7" and "NATO stuff" and "King of Spain." (Well, he's not doing the king of Spain. Probably.)

But Vice President Kamala Harris is back home in America, and she's got some words to say about Samuel Alito and his lunch table full of Opus Dei creeps overturning abortion rights in a desperate bid to get the Virgin Mary to go to prom with them.

Before they murdered Roe, Harris was loudly shouting "How DARE they." Now they have dared. To NPR, Harris put it in perspective:

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Recipe Hub

Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Shark Bait Cooler!

It's not safe to go back into the water ...

Greetings, Wonketeers! I’m Hooper, your bartender. Matt Hooper, in case you didn’t know. It’s a shame that I’ll be missing movie night this week, but I’ve got the perfect cocktail for your 4th of July beachside festivities. Let’s make a Shark Bait Cooler. Here’s the recipe.

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popular

Kathleen Parker Colossally Wrong About SCOTUS And Abortion, Regrets Nothing, Should Retire

That's 'Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Kathleen Parker' to you, bub.

Pulitzer Prize-winning meathead Kathleen Parker wrote a very bad prediction back in 2018, after Anthony Kennedy retired from the Supreme Court. At the time, everyone in America who is not a dunderheaded Beltway idiot knew that Donald Trump would nominate some antiabortion fiend to replace him. Being antiabortion is a litmus test for GOP judges and has been for years, even if they blatantly lie about their position in confirmation hearings and everyone knows they are blatantly lying. And Trump, being too lazy to have any beliefs outside of believing that Donald Trump is the greatest human to ever walk the earth, was perfectly happy to let the Federalist Society, proctors of said litmus test, tell him whom to nominate.

Everyone knew this. Dogs knew it. Yr Wonkette knew it. Those weird deformed mutant fish that live at the bottom of the Marianas Trench knew it.

But Kathleen Parker didn’t know it. She wrote a column titled “Calm down. Roe vs. Wade isn’t going anywhere.” In that column, she predicted that no potential nominee would want to be “that person” who overturned a right approved of by better than half of the country. Perish the thought! She also condemned the “wild-eyed jackassery” of the Cassandras of the Left who were predicting the end of Roe.

Ahem.

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January 6

Trump Pitches Tantrum After Cassidy Hutchinson Fires Lawyer He Assigned Her

Apparently, it was an offer she could refuse.

If there's one thing that Donald Trump hates, it's lying.

HAHAHAHA we are silly on Fridays, particularly when every goddamn thing is on fire thanks to the Supreme Court. But we can't help but laugh at the guy who drew a dick on a weather map — and lied about literally everything his whole life — throwing a tantrum about Cassidy Hutchinson's testimony to the House January 6 Select Committee.

Mediaite reprinted that weirdo's latest rant from his janky, knock-off social media platform:

Social Climber Hutchinson lied about my attack on our great Secret Service, lied about her writing the White House note, lied about my throwing food at a wall in the Oval Office, & lied about my wanting to be surrounded by “people with guns” during my “Go Peacefully and Patriotically” speech (how crazy is that?), yet no guns were found in the Capitol. These lies, among others, were made UNDER OATH. What is the Justice Department going to do about this? Do we have a two tiered system of Justice?

Cassidy Hutchinson also forgot to tell the Unselects that she was desperate to go to Florida with certain others of the Trump staff, long after January 6th had come and gone. If I was so evil, why did she fight so hard to stay a part of the MAGA TEAM? This is all documented in writing! Why did it take her so long to tell (make up!) these ridiculous and obviously Fake Stories, even after previously sitting for four long depositions? Was it, just maybe, her brand new lawyer? Lying under oath???

Wow! Really miss waking up to this shit every morning in life ... said no one EVER. Good to know that lying to Congress is bad now. Heads up, Roger Stone!

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