Who Wants To Watch Dr. Fauci Sh*t On Rand Paul And Call Him A Bad Doctor?

Wanna watch a SUREFIRE HIT VIDEO? We have you one! Rolling Stone is gonna be pretty mad it already released its new 500 bestest albums of all time list, because Dr. Anthony Fauci just dropped a new hit record on Kinda Sorta Dr. Rand Paul's face!

It is called "I Am Too Polite To Say This, But I Don't Think This Dipshit Is A Real Doctor."

Rand Paul, a doctor, was very mad that Dr. Fauci kept saying New York's response to the coronavirus was so great. "New York had the highest death rate in the world," exclaimed Paul, who says he is good at ophthalmologizing, which is too a real word, but we would never trust Rand Paul with our eyes.

(Even the one that we are blind in.)

(Especially that one, because we couldn't see the very good doctor coming at us with his instruments to bite him if he tried anything funny.)

SUREFIRE HIT VIDEO RIGHT HERE:

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Rachel Maddow Finds CDC Director Sh*tting Bed, And Floor, Some Walls, The Ceiling

In an exclusive report yesterday, MSNBC's "The Rachel Maddow Show" uncovered still more political interference by the Trump administration in the response to the coronavirus pandemic. The story makes a hell of a strong case for the immediate resignation of Robert Redfield as director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, because he's given in to Trumpworld directives that have led the agency to promote misleading, non-science-based information about the virus and what's needed to protect Americans from the pandemic.

Specifically, Maddow and her reporting team uncovered evidence that the CDC watered down recommendations its scientists had made for dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak at a Smithfield Foods meatpacking plant in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It's just good old document-finding, digging, and checking with agency insiders. Here's the video; be ready to be disgusted.

CDC Director's Office Ordered Softening Of Coronavirus Safety Protocols For Meat Plant | MSNBC youtu.be


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Ron Johnson, Walking Simpson's 'You Tried' Gif, Releases Biden Ukraine Report

DID YOU KNOW DID YOU KNOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!1¿1??¿?!

Did you know that Joe Biden's son is a fuckup who traded on his family name and got a job on a Ukrainian company's board like every other child of a politician in DC including two who are working in the White House right this very moment?

Oh, you did? Well, then, the report just dropped by The Senate's Dumbest Republican™ won't contain much new information for you.

Despite being warned by US intelligence agencies and members of his very own party that he and Senate Finance Committee Chair Chuck Grassley were laundering Russian propaganda, Senator Ron Johnson went ahead and dropped his hastily polished turd this morning, right in the middle of the SCOTUS nomination/200,000 coronavirus deaths/crazy shit Trump said last night news cycle, where it promptly rolled into the corner largely unnoticed.

The big conclusion of the report is that Hunter Biden being on the board of Burisma was UNLEGAL because it violated anti-awkwardness statutes.

Yes, for real.

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Trump Planning Literal Actual Fascist Takeover Of America, And Dipsh*t Don Jr. Gets To Help!

We don't know what has happened to Donald Trump Jr., but he is looking and sounding a bit rougher than usual.

Here, enjoy a video where Junior, looking like he has a bad case of the meat sweats, hoarsely warns Trump supporters that the mean Democrats are going to steal the election from his daddy, by counting all the votes.

The first thing we notice is that Junior appears to have lost his voice, we imagine from triggering the libs too loudly. He looks sweaty, or rather clammy. No, we mean more than usual. His face looks pained. Again, more than usual.

But the message itself is creepy as fuck, even if it's delivered by somebody who just got caught masturbating for the 14th time that day, his sheets covered in Cheeto dust, allegedly.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Alaska's US Senate Surprisingly Close, Because Alaska Doesn't Do Predictable

If it's wrong to let a TV show stand in for a whole state, we don't want to be right.

Alaska, as fans of the popular 1990s TV documentary "Northern Exposure" know, can be a quirky place, what with the displaced Jewish doctors from New York, the idealistic young Native American filmmakers, the Zen philosopher DJs, and the romance-shy bush pilots who end up rightwing loonies. And Ruth-Anne. We loved Ruth-Anne .

But even when it's not being filmed in Washington state, Alaska can be politically weird. It has America's highest percentage of voters registered as independent or no party affiliation (58 percent!), and in 2010 reelected Lisa Murkowski as a write-in candidate when the official Republican primary went to a wackaloon tea partier. And then there's freakin' Sara Palin, who just won't go away. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise that in 2020, two independents are putting up serious challenges to the state's sole congressional representative, Don Young (R), and to first-term US Senator Dan Sullivan (R), aka the answer to the trivia question, "Who's the other senator from Alaska, again?" In a PPP poll earlier this month, Sullivan was actually tied with Al Gross, the independent candidate running against him.

Since this is your Senate Sunday column, we won't get into that House race between Young and Alyse Galvin, except to link to her campaign site and suggest you help Alaskans get rid of Young, who's been in Congress since 1973 and may be facing one of his closest challenges ever.

As for the Sullivan-Gross race, it's yet another of those unexpectedly-close Senate races this year, and Gross clearly has the GOP rattled: Mitch McConnell's super-PAC, the Senate Leadership Fund, just confirmed to NBC News that it's planning to spend $1.6 million on media buys on behalf of Sullivan.

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News

Kyle Rittenhouse, Conservative America’s Teen Dream Killing Machine

This is pretty consistent with their beliefs.

What is there to say about people who think it was acceptable for cops to shoot up Breonna Taylor in her own home (damaging precious dry wall in the process) but that Kyle Rittenhouse, who broke actual laws, is an American hero? They are obviously racists obsessed with white innocence. Young Rittenhouse is just a poor boy from a poor family.

Last Thursday, Rittenhouse's mother, Wendy, and his lawyer, John Pierce, attended a Wisconsin Republican event in Waukesha County. Perpetual rage machine, Michelle Malkin, brought Wendy Rittenhouse on stage where the audience gave her a standing ovation for raising a child who murdered two people and gravely injured a third. This might make sense if they were Klingons, who believe a child is a man “the day he can first hold a blade," but these people claim to follow the teachings of noted cuck Jesus Christ.

Malkin shared a photo on Twitter of herself with Wendy Rittenhouse and her son's homicide attorney. She boasted that she'd spoken to Kyle Rittenhouse on the phone and “thanked him for his courage." It takes as much courage to shoot someone as talent was required to produce that Justice League movie.

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SCOTUS

GOP Already Being Extremely Ghoulish About Supreme Court Nomination

Well, that's expected.

It's official. Donald Trump has officially nominated Amy Coney Barrett to the Supreme Court last night, just like everyone speculated he was going to do all week.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg is not even buried in the ground yet, and already Republicans in the Senate are trying to fundraise off of mocking her. They are actually selling t-shirts that say "Notorious A.C.B.," meant to reference the popular "Notorious R.B.G." meme, because of how they are in fact sociopaths.


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