How Many Trump Crimes Will His Lawyers Confess To Today? (Impeachment Trial Liveblog, Day Whatever!)
Well, hello, John Bolton, and how is YOUR mustache hanging today?
So, you mean to tell us, after an impeachment inquiry and trial where we've gotten one consistent version of the story of Donald Trump's Ukraine crimes, that John Bolton's book also too confirms that version of the story exactly and confirms Bolton's status as a firsthand witness to the whole scheme? No one could have seen that one coming, and by no one, we mean everyone.
We don't know how impeachment is going to go this week. Trump's lawyers started Saturday, and from what we can tell, they just jerked off into a cup for two hours and then went home and jerked off into more cups, but not on live TV. From Trump's tweets, it sounds like they were mad that calendars were discriminating against them by making them start Saturday.
Technically, according to the rules, Trump's lawyers could go today and tomorrow, and we know Mitch McConnell wants all this shit to be over by the end of the week, especially if Bolton's news is just going to keep breaking. At the same time, the Bolton news (and there will be more) seems to be putting some real pressure on a few GOP senators like Mitt Romney and Susan Collins to vote for witnesses and documents, which could extend things quite a bit if a number of them end up jumping together.
Of course, it's always possible that Adam Schiff will commit an act of bad Senate decorum and hurt Susan Collins's feelings so much she is forced to confirm Brett Kavanaugh again.
Point is we have no fuckin' idea and neither do you.
Shall we liveblog the things that happen as they happen?