Matt Gaetz Wrangles Invite To Doral, But Gets No Love From Daddy Trump :(

Poor, sad Matt Gaetz! After sticking his wayward weener in the wringer — and reportedly possibly several teenage women, ALLEGEDLY— he's been cast out of the Garden of Eden, with President P-Grabber's aides barring him from the royal presence.

Every paper in America has a story about Gaetz being investigated for paying very young women for sex, but allegations that he's on the outs with Trump seem to piss him off most of all. Politico and the Daily Beast both report being threatened by Gaetz's crack PR team for saying their client is persona non grata in Trumpland.

"We are seeking an immediate print and on-air statement of retraction. Failure to comply with this request may result in litigation," pro-Trump pundit Erin Elmore howled in an email to Politico. Her boss Harlan Hill, head of the Logan Circle Group, could be forgiven for thinking this might work, since he's clearly three babies stuffed in daddy's sport jacket. But Elmore, a former "Apprentice" contestant and IRL lawyer, should absolutely know better than to send such nonsensical threats.

Of course, DB and Politico ignored Elmore, going so far to publish excerpts of her gibberish. And now CNN has confirmed the story, adding even more hilarious detail, saying that Gaetz showed up at Doral this weekend hoping to get face time with his Real Daddy, only to find himself boxed out by aides.

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White Supremacists Had A Party And No One (Except Counterprotesters) Showed Up

This weekend, cities across the country braced themselves for what was supposed to be a rash of White Lives Matter rallies on Sunday. For a month, racists had planned these rallies on Telegram, in public chats and in private chats — well, chats they thought were private, anyway. We were supposed to be scared, like we were after Charlottesville, like we were after January 6.

It didn't quite work out that way. Instead, the majority of these rallies looked like this one in Albuquerque, New Mexico, with one lone Nazi carrying an "All Guns Matter" sign, being protected by police.

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President Lost Cause Lets RNC Pay 100 Grand To Hear Him Whine About Mitch McConnell

Donald Trump delivered an unhinged, grievance-filled speech (or more aptly a collection of words in semi-passable sentence form) Saturday night to a Republican National Committee gathering at his Mar-a-Lago lair. I don't enjoy talking about the former White House squatter or even using his name, but I am concerned that willfully ignoring him makes me like the leads in a horror film who stop considering the slasher killer an active threat just ten minutes before the credits: "No, we're quite sure it's fine now. Let's all relax."

The one-term loser is still out there spreading the Big Lie to a receptive audience. The RNC paid $100,000 for the honor of holding this event at Mar-a-Lago because the grift never ends with this guy. Republican donors expressed their discontent to the press, privately of course, because they're spineless cowards who still fear the tweet-less president.

Politico reports:

"It was horrible, it was long and negative," one attendee with a donor in the room tells Playbook. "It was dour. He didn't talk about the positive things that his administration has done."

Establishment Republicans are continually distraught that the bigotry, lies, and violent insurrection always distract from all the “positive things" the previous administration accomplished, but the reality is that it literally was just horrible, long, and negative. That's it. They keep hoping President Klan Robe will regale them about deregulation and tax cuts for billionaires like he's Paul Ryan. Instead, he tossed his prepared “boring" speech and riffed delusional nonsense for an hour.

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Michele Bachmann, Ted Cruz Real Mad John Boehner Said Those Mean True Things About Them

Former House Speaker John Boehner has written a memoir, On the House, about how much he hated that job and how everyone he worked with was an asshole. It's like Nicholas Pileggi's Wiseguys but with less admirable characters. He called former Rep. Michele Bachmann and Texas Senator Ted Cruz “lunatics," which isn't exactly revelatory. We've seen them talk on TV. Let's hope Boehner's memoir offers more compelling information, like which merlots pair best with failure and regret.

Boehner's trash talk hasn't gone unanswered, of course. Bachmann is real upset because when you insult her, you're actually insulting all Republicans. You remember when Hillary Clinton called the MAGA supporters burning crosses at rallies “deplorable" and the other Republicans warming themselves by the fire took offense? This is more of that classic conservative identity politics in action.

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History Facts

OK, But What About All The Times The Filibuster HELPED Pass Civil Rights? (Spoiler: There Were None)

Oh shoot, gave away the ending.

As the conversation continues regarding killing off or at least reforming the legislative filibuster, defenders of the old relic of Jim Crow have been insisting that nah, it's not actually a relic of Jim Crow, despite it being used almost exclusively to defeat civil rights laws for most of the 20th century. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell recently flat-out lied that the filibuster had "no racial history," which is demonstrably untrue. Other filibuster defenders have insisted that while it was indeed used to block civil rights, the rule is necessary to protect the "rights" of the political minority, namely, the right to veto anything Democrats propose. But now, in a triumph of doublethink, the Wall Street Journal has published a thoroughly dishonest op-ed arguing that the filibuster was the very best friend of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Just like Gamera was the friend of little children everywhere, at least when not stomping their homes flat.

You don't really need to read David Hoppe's op-ed, because it's very effectively eviscerated by New York magazine's Jonathan Chait, who has little patience for Hoppe's disingenuous history flummery. Now that's worth a read! Hoppe gets things exactly wrong, arguing that somehow a rule designed to thwart progress on civil rights actually resulted in better law, apparently on the principle that the more obscene the roadblocks put in its place, the greater achievement the final law was.

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Right Wing Extremism

Pentagon: White Supremacists, Rightwing Extremists Not Good Fit For US Military, Honest

US military should stop training its own future terrorists.

When Lloyd Austin, the first Black secretary of Defense, took over at the Pentagon this year, he ordered each branch of the military to stand down over the next 60 days to “discuss" the threat posed by white supremacy and rightwing extremism. Presumably, if this was more than just Insurrectionist Book Club, they'd also actually address the threat. After all, a disturbing number of current and former members of the military participated in the January 6 siege on the Capitol,

Friday, Austin announced next steps in identifying and weeding out white supremacists and rightwing extremists. It's likely more complicated than asking “Would you have coffee with Stephen Miller?" but hopefully no less effective.

NBC News reports:

Under Austin's instruction, the Pentagon's top lawyer and other officials will review and update the department's definition of "prohibited extremist activities" for all service members. Critics have said the Pentagon needs to take into account how extremism has evolved in the digital era, and how some adherents engage in more loosely formed networks.

The secretary also called for updated screening questionnaires for potential recruits to gather information about current or previous extremist behavior "to ensure that only the best qualified recruits are selected for the services," according to the memo.

The questionnaires, which would be standardized across the armed forces, would also clarify any "demonstrably false answers" that could later hold a service member accountable and form the basis "for punitive action for fraudulent enlistment," it said.

Local crackpot bigot Tucker Carlson naturally objected to Austin's actions, even though keeping white supremacists out of the military would only affect Carlson if he had the courage to serve himself. He claimed that the military had “declared war" on people who disagree with them (the “them" here clearly referring to the new Black secretary of Defense). Carlson has also defended the actual insurrectionists, whom he laughably described as “a mob of older people from unfashionable zip codes" who "somehow made it all the way to Washington DC, probably by bus." (Yeah, that's a bunch of BS.)

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Conspiracy theories

Important True Update On MyPillow Guy's New MyCompanies That Will DESTROY All YourCompanies!

Legit.

Time for your latest update on Mike Lindell's latest MyCompany that will totally END all the other YourCompanies!

Lindell says he's starting a new store called MyStore, which will beat the shit out of YourStore, or as the rest of us know it, Amazon. He explained this on the Steve Bannon podcast web show or whatever the fuck it is, because that's one of the places Mike Lindell is still allowed to go.

Lindell presented his business plan to Bannon:

LINDELL: 'CAUSE I'M LOOKING AT ANOTHER THING WE'RE GONNA BE LAUNCHING, WHICH IS MYSTORE, WHICH IS A RIVAL TO AMAZON!

It sounds like what Lindell means is that he's going to GREATLY EXPAND the "MyStore" section of the "MyPillow" website, and judging by the products it sells right now, we bet it will literally dethrone Jeff Bezos.

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