Wonkette Weekend Chat Travels The World And The Seven Seas

Welcome to this week’s absolutely live chat! We’ve even got some good news to discuss among the dreary, like a climate bill and encouraging jobs numbers. It’s enough to make you forget the scorching heat.

So, my favorite part of Cafe Nordo’s Down the Rabbit Hole is a happy accident: Last year, the show ran simultaneously with Feast of the Queens upstairs, and during run throughs, we realized our Alice needed more time to venture through the Looking Glass for her final scene down the rabbit hole. I wrote a segment called “Black Hole Karaoke” that ended with our Mad Hatter (Justine Yu-Ping Davis) and March Hare (Jesica Avellone) belting out two killer numbers. Jesica, who ends her run this weekend, consistently brought down the house with her rendition of the Eurythmics’ "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)." Annie Lennox would be proud (and I don’t say that lightly).

The live chat starts at 12 p.m. PT/3 p.m. ET and 2 p.m. Robyn time (that’s Chicago). As always, don’t forget to flip over to YouTube so you can like, share, subscribe and spread the love.

Jesica Avellone as the March Hare, belting out “Sweet Dreams,” in Cafe Nordo’s “Down The Rabbit Hole"www.youtube.com

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Alex Jones Thinks He's Going To Beat The Legal System. He Is Wrong.

I hate Alex Jones. You hate Alex Jones. We all hate Alex Jones and agree that he is a cancer on our collective consciousness. And yet we are forced to write this long-ass post about that walking plague because his various legal entanglements are probably going to be a template for dealing with his thousand shitlord offspring as they inject their bile into our digital nervous system. In short, we are all going to have to learn to live in this world where lies can reach millions of people in a second.

So, let's talk about this sick fuck and his legal problems, shall we?

The Sandy Hook Lawsuits

In 2012, a young man with mental health issues and ready access to firearms murdered 20 children and six adults at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. Almost immediately, Jones and his staff at Infowars began speculating that it was a "false flag" or a "synthetic" event staged by the government to gin up support for gun control. At various points, Infowars employees called the families "crisis actors" and speculated that the children murdered there never existed. Most egregiously, in 2017 host Owen Shroyer played a short clip of the medical examiner saying he'd allowed parents to identify their children by photo to spare them trauma to imply that the bodies had never been returned, and thus Neil Heslin, the father of slain 6-year-old Jesse Lewis, was lying when he said he'd held his dead son's body.

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MI Primary Update: Tudor Dixon In, Peter Meijer Out, As Republicans Go Full Wackjob

The Michigan primary elections were last night, and first some good news (for me, at least): Rep. Rashida Tlaib easily won her Detroit-area primary so is guaranteed another term in the House. Now, on to the bad news, of which there is much.

Tudor Dixon — yes, that’s a real person not a New England home style — crushed all comers in the Republican primary for governor. She was the host of "America’s Voice Live" on the Real America’s Voice cable network but otherwise has no relevant political experience, which you might think is important. Michigan is a state and all. However, former Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos, who knows something about lacking basic qualifications for a job, asked Donald Trump to support Dixon because she’s apparently the "only one who can stand toe to toe with” Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer.

(LOL, remember when DeVos resigned in apparent protest over how Trump had sicced a mob on Congress? She even reportedly wanted Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment on Trump, whose endorsement she’s now soliciting for her awful candidates.)


Some Fool Named ‘Tudor Dixon’ Thinks She Can Come For ‘Big Gretch’ Whitmer

MI GOP Gov. Hopeful Wants To Help Child Rape Victims, By Forcing Them To Give Birth

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Kansas Voters Just Told Anti-Abortion Republicans To Eat Bag Of Dicks, AND HOW!

Splendid news for your morning, America!

Kansas voters took some time yesterday to tell anti-abortion fuckheads just how uninterested they are in having fascist Christian overlords control their bodies and reproductive systems. In other words, they told them to eat bags of dicks in hell.

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Project Veritas Dildo Lube Boats Itself Into $150K Penalty With SLAPP Suit Against Stanford University

Perfect execution. No notes.

Hey, remember that time when Project Veritas made that hilariously bullshit video pretending that a man legally turning in ballots for his brother's campaign for the Minneapolis City Council was illegally "harvesting ballots" for Rep. Ilhan Omar?

Of course you don't, because you are normal. But your Wonkette remembers, and so does Stanford University, which just SLAPP-ed Veritas for legal fees after the shameless band of ratfuckers made the extremely unwise decision to sue the school for defamation over a blog post by the Election Integrity Partnership on the video's false claims and subsequent amplification online.

Project Veritas is the unholy spawn of the unclean loins of dildo lube boat enthusiast and amateur dramatics aficionado James O'Keefe, whose many exploits include an arrest for trying to wiretap a senator's office and peddling a woman's rehab diary in an attempt to discredit her father's presidential campaign. Its target audience is exactly the kind of person who would believe that Rep. Omar needed to cheat in 2020 to hold a seat where she took 78 percent of the vote in 2018.

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Scary monsters! Scary monsters!

It's a good morning at Wonkette Manor, with the fine people of Kansas (no, we don't live there) making us feel Extra Way Better About The State Of The World. And because we feel Extra Way Better About The State Of The World, we're not embarrassed to shriek OH NO MONSTERS, or rather, OH NO WE HAVEN'T PAID US IN THREE MONTHS AND ALSO WE'VE BEEN PAYING THE SITE EXPENSES OUT OF POCKET AND OH NO THE HOUSE MONEY IS GONE AND THE CAR MONEY FROM INSURANCE TOTALING OUT OUR PRIUS IS GONE (poor deer) and of course by "us" I mean Shy and me, we would never not pay our staff or freelancers or bills, what are we, THAT LAST SHITHEAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE? We are not.

So here's the deal. We are not laying anyone off, ever, and we are not reducing our delightful freelancers, ever, so I don't have an OR ELSE to lay on you except "I am going to have to put everything on credit cards again, some more, it's a good thing that last shithead from the White House made me rethink my relationship to debt, i.e., I should have more of it!"

If you are in a financial squeeze with the inflations or the poor, please do not send Wonkette money. If you are already sending Wonkette money, please do not send Wonkette more money (unless you really seriously want to, you are already the attractive ... midshipmen?? in Starship Troopers, DOING YOUR PART). But if you are not in one of the preceding two categories, and you appreciate having Wonkette around and me not dying of MONSTERS, please (PLEASE!) consider starting a recurring donation with the widget below. Click an amount, click "monthly" if you can, and then click "paypal" (paypal) or "stripe" (all credit cards).

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And our Patreon, if you like wee gifts for your money!

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2022 midterms

Would You Buy Anything From Rick Scott? We Didn't Think So.

It's your failing sales pitch Sunday show rundown.

Florida GOP Senator Rick Scott is what happens when a person keeps failing upwards. And he's at his incompetent finest as the head of the National Republican Senatorial Committee (NRSC), as he showed on CBS's "Face The Nation" this week.

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