President Biden Remembers 100,000 American Lives Lost To Coronavirus

As America reached and surpassed 100,000 (confirmed) coronavirus deaths on Wednesday, Donald Trump marked the moment by whining about Twitter hurting his feelings, going to Florida for SPACESHIP! but Elon Musk couldn't get it up womp womp, and by announcing he was going to sign an executive order about Twitter hurting his feelings.

Oh yeah, and a day late and so many dollars short, somebody else wrote this tweet for Trump this morning:

We have just reached a very sad milestone with the coronavirus pandemic deaths reaching 100,000. To all of the families & friends of those who have passed, I want to extend my heartfelt sympathy & love for everything that these great people stood for & represent. God be with you!

We know somebody else wrote it because all the words are spelled correctly, there are no illiterate and weird "quotation marks," there are no lies, and he didn't even accuse any innocent people of murder or WITCH HUNT or whatever else. Oh yeah, and no whining.

Trump may be the stupidest person in America, but let's be fair, he's also empty, broken, and devoid of empathy and all other normal human emotions. He couldn't write even that pissant phoned-in message.

It's easy to forget, during this historic pandemic, but we are electing a president in 159 days, which means we are in full-on election season. If this were the 2016 election, for comparison's sake, we'd be days away from seeing the first major evidence that Russia was fucking with the 2016 election. For 2020 it's ... LOL fuck it, it's probably the same timeline.

But we do have a presumptive nominee, and his name is Joe Biden, and if there is one thing Biden is good at, it's being the comforter-in-chief, especially when grief is involved. And he released a video message to mark 100,000 lives lost, and you can watch it and remember what a president looks like, and what it could be like to once again have a president who possesses the humanity to actually fucking say something.

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Mark Zuckerberg, Who Once Gave Rare Butt Cricket STD To Entire Shopping Mall, Says Fact-Checking Bad

Mark Zuckerberg helped destroy the country, perhaps even the world, and he won't stand idly by while anyone tries to undo his hard work. Twitter (finally) started fact-checking (by appending a teeny tiny "get the facts" notation) Donald Trump's tweets, which are usually full of lies, slander, and the occasional covfefe. The rival platform's underwhelming action didn't shame Zuckerberg into caring about the veracity of the content on his own hell site. Instead, he jumped on the bandwagon with conservative hacks, including Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley, and cried “censorship!" because he apparently dropped out of Harvard before learning what censorship is.

Zuckerberg criticized Twitter's policy during an interview on (of course) Fox News's "The Daily Briefing," which aired today.

ZUCKERBERG: We have a different policy I think than Twitter on this. I just believe strongly that Facebook shouldn't be the arbiter of truth of everything that people say online. I think in general private companies probably shouldn't be — especially these platform companies — shouldn't be in the position of doing that.

This is all kinds of dumb. Media companies shouldn't enable the spread of disinformation. Their first duty should be to the truth. Facebook discards that principle and dresses up its willful negligence in an emperor's robe of “free expression." Even the term “arbiter of truth" is a way to frame “facts" as just part of some liberal agenda. They're big on moral relativism these days, especially when they discovered how much power and money they could gain through shameless lies.

(Can't see the video? Please click the little bird in the tweet!)

The COVID-19 pandemic has cost a lot of journalists their jobs. It's not that hard to find qualified "fact checkers," which I stress is not some new Orwellian concept. Letters editors at newspapers — remember them? — fact-checked submissions before publication. If a grandmother's complaints about pot holes in her neighborhood was thoroughly vetted, then someone should probably double-check the US president's (lying) claims about voter fraud.

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PA Republicans Surely Not Secretly Trying To Infect Democrats With COVID-19, No They'd Never!

Last night, Donald Trump retweeted a New Mexico Trump idiot named Couy Griffin, who runs the Cowboys for Trump, saying that the "only good Democrat is a dead Democrat."

Don't worry, Griffin didn't mean it literally, he meant it in the metaphorical sense, and all the people listening to him laughed, because everybody knows Cowboys for Trump are second only to English teachers when it comes to their embrace of a good metaphor.

Anyway, keep that video and quote and the fact that Trump retweeted it last night in your head while we tell you a story.

Are you familiar with Pennsylvania Democratic state Rep. Brian Sims? Usually when he appears in these august pages, it's for a funny reason, like very recently when we wrote about the very cool MAGA "life coach" who refuses to wear a mask because he thinks that is what makes him look a total cucking loser (yes we said cucking, it's a very cool word). That MAGA "life coach" also challenged Sims, who is gay, to suck a real live man dick, because the MAGA "life coach" thinks Sims is fibbing about being gay. (He's gay.)

Anyway, Sims, because he's got this whole "I am a sexy daddy bear who is legitimately nice" thing going on, and because he's openly gay and has taken a large role in the LGBT rights movement on the national stage, has had kind of an outsized platform compared to other state legislators.

So when he went on Facebook Live last evening and just absolutely lost his righteous shit, people paid attention.

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Sure Are A Bunch Of Supergeniuses Packing Together For 'Race Car'

Over Memorial Day weekend, a small North Carolina race track opened up for stock car races, drawing a capacity crowd of more than 4,000 spectators, and ignoring the state's public health rules because county officials gave the go-ahead. Raleigh News & Observer reporter Andrew Carter wrote a hell of a good feature story about the return to what a lot of the people there wanted to call "normal," as the racing season finally got underway at that Ace Speedway in Altamahaw, after a two-month delay. This isn't a big old NASCAR venue, just a little local track, a four-tenths of a mile oval. Most of the people Carter spoke to said they'd been cooped up for too long, and so it's time for everybody to get back to business, but safely. If "safely" means cramming close together and yelling loudly over all the engine noise, which is a super-efficient way for the virus to spread.

The people at the racetrack all seemed vaguely aware that the pandemic isn't over, but they're largely over the pandemic, and just don't want to think about it anymore. So they probably wouldn't have cared that in the week prior to the race, North Carolina's COVID-19 hospitalizations were actually increasing — from 481 on May 16, to 589 on Saturday, May 23, the day of the festivities. Since then, the number of current hospitalizations statewide is up to 702, as of yesterday.

To be honest, it's a difficult story to read, because it feels like an early chapter of And The Band Played On. There's a strong likelihood of a future story, profiling people who'll get sick or die after attending the race. Maybe not — viral outbreaks are a matter of risk, not certainty. But the odds are far higher than if all those folks had stayed home and held nice cookouts in their own backyards.

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Cops Behaving Badly

Amnesty International Would Like The United States To Demilitarize Its Cops, Please

We're now 'International Human Rights Organization intervenes' bad.

Across the country, at protests in practically every city there is, US police are going nuts. They're dressed in riot gear. They're attacking protesters. They're attacking journalists, and they're attacking John Cusack, which makes this whole nightmare seem like a particularly surreal one, but that is somehow a thing that happened in real life.

That's just one video of so many videos, but if you listen to the way the cop is speaking, there's no wonder why violence has escalated. I've been in many protests that were perfectly peaceful until the cops showed up and started busting heads. They're absolutely terrifying. The way they're dressed, the way they stand, the way they yell and the way they casually hurt people as if it's nothing is probably one of the more sickening things a person can witness in this world. Some people might comfort themselves by saying, "Oh they only bother the people who are breaking the law!" but that is not the case. It's the cops who escalate things by going after anyone they can get their hands on, tear gassing people and shooting them with rubber bullets.

On Sunday, Rachel Ward, National Director of Research at Amnesty International USA issued a statement demanding that the United States end military policing and the use of excessive force against protesters. Yes. Things have gotten so bad that we now have international human rights organizations issuing official statements against the abuse of human rights here, in the United States of America.

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News

Minnesota's Other Lady Senator, Tina Smith, Runs Against Very Garbage Man

She'll almost certainly win; he'll almost certainly be loudly assholish.

With all the 'rona and riots, we have to keep reminding ourselves occasionally that there are national elections this fall. Still! With Minnesota at the center of the news this last week after the death-by-cop of George Floyd, and the subsequent riots, we'll take a look at the reelection campaign for Minnesota's junior senator, Tina Smith. Smith has herself been a bit overshadowed in the last year by the presidential run of her colleague, Amy Klobuchar. Smith is probably a safe bet for reelection in blue blue Minnesota (but never get complacent, for Crom's sake). The campaign still has the potential to make news, if only because the presumptive Republican nominee, former radio talk show host Jason Lewis, is a first-rate asshat with a real talent for making racist and misogynist remarks. It's quite a contrast: Smith is the only member of the US Senate to have worked with Planned Parenthood, and Lewis was once featured in Yr Wonkette's "This Week in Garbage Men."

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Post-Racial America

Assholes Stir Up S**t At George Floyd Protests While Police Shoot Reporters With Rubber Bullets

No good will come of this.

It's been a long six months since Memorial Day when former Minneapolis police officer (and Charles Dickens character) Derek Chauvin killed George Floyd. Protests have raged ever since, not just in Minnesota but across the country. There've even gone global.

The gruesome nature of Floyd's death lit a spark, and amid the mostly peaceful protests, there's violence and chaos. Not all the riots are expressions from the unheard. Most of the violence is the result of people exploiting the situation. Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz estimated that 80 percent of violent protesters were from outside the state (this was later proven untrue). He blamed white supremacists and organized drug cartels, neither of whom are supportive of the “not murdering black people" cause. Attorney General Bill Barr declared that the protesters were "planned, organized and driven by anarchic and far-left extremist groups using antifa-like tactics."

We are also two months into COVID-19 shutdowns, so as a friend noted, we're also probably seeing bored white boys taking to the streets to enjoy that Spring Break they missed.

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