Gippers Whine About Metal Detectors, But Pelosi Grabs 'Em By The Wallet

Less than two weeks into the new Congress, and Speaker Nancy Pelosi has already had it up to here with the GOP and its antics. Yesterday she announced that members who refuse to pass through the newly installed metal detectors before entering the House chamber will be fined $5,000 for the first offense and $10,000 for subsequent refusals to comply with House rules. Because Miss Nancy does not play.

Even before last week's violent insurrection, the House was already headed for confrontation with several of the nuttiest Republican freshmen members. Georgia's Marjorie Taylor Greene campaigned on an explicit threat to come to DC and do violence to "The Squad" of Reps. Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, while Colorado's Lauren Boebert, who tweeted out Nancy Pelosi's location during the lockdown, has vowed to carry her Glock on the House floor in violation of the chamber's rules. And now, with allegations that some members gave "reconnaissance tours" to the attackers the day before the Capitol riot, tensions are at a fever pitch.

As per custom, Republicans have responded to the new security rules by pitching a hissy fit and abusing the "staff."

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Shame Terrorists Attacked The Capitol Because Sarah Huckabee Sanders Never Got Her Chicken Dinner

It is done, at least in the House. Donald Trump is impeached, again, for the second time. It was the biggest bipartisan vote for impeachment in history, which is great. Of course, there have only been four impeachments in American history and Trump's crimes are responsible for half of them.

Ten Republicans joined every Democrat to impeach the motherfucker. On one hand, it's horrifying and disgusting that only 10 Republicans found the integrity and spine to take that vote, after they all experienced Trump inciting his insurgents into such a frothing rage that they breached the Capitol, seemingly to try to kill them. But then again, we also have been hearing from Democratic congressmen like Jason Crow that their Republican colleagues have said privately that they really wanted to vote for impeachment, except they're worried Trump's thugs might murder them and their families, because Trump's America is like a messed up amateur hour version of Russia. But oh well, hashtag courage, you guys!

The Republicans who voted for Trump's impeachment were Liz Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Dan Newhouse, Anthony Gonzalez, John Katko, Peter Meijer, Tom Rice, Fred Upton, Jaime Herrera Beutler, and Anthony Valadao. Four Republicans did not vote, we assume because they are cowards. (To be fair, maybe they were pooping the whole time, or maybe there were other reasons, don't know, don't care, not looking it up.)

Newhouse announced his vote for the article of impeachment during Wednesday's debate, and was greeted with cheers from patriots.

But then there were all the other Republicans who talked. Oh my God. There were the "heartfelt" calls for "unity" from bastards who as recently as five minutes ago were participating in Trump's Big Lie about winning an election he lost, the Big Lie that Trump has been using for the past several months to incite the attack that happened last Wednesday. To those Republicans, we say go fuck yourself.

However, we think our favorites of all were the Republicans who put on their very favorite Taylor Swift song and cried out "Look What You Made Me Do," because of how actually those Capitol terrorists wouldn't have even been Capitol terrorists if Democrats hadn't been so MEAN. Democratic Rep. Jamie Raskin had enough of it, saying it's pretty fuckin' rich to hear over and over that these folks "wouldn't be trying to kill us if we weren't so MEAN to them."

GOP Rep. Tom McClintock said maybe this wouldn't have happened if we had just prosecuted more Black Lives Matter and Antifas. QAnon jackass Lauren Boebert screamed "I CALL BULLCRAP" for some reason or another, it was funny.

But the best, by far, was Ken Buck of Colorado, usually one of the more quiet clowns of the House, who launched into this diatribe about why the Capitol terrorist attack REALLY happened.

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Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Needed A Safe Space, No Literally, Because That One Was Full Of Q Kooks Already

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez thought she was going to die.

Some jerks I won't link to have dismissed the very real threat Congress faced during the Trump-instigated siege on the Capitol, but a violent mob roaming around chant-screaming about hanging people who won't keep their mad king in office isn't just a minor inconvenience.

Tuesday, Ocasio-Cortez shared her traumatic experience on January 6 during an Instagram Live chat. She's often compelling and real in this format and yesterday was no exception.

The president, frankly assisted by members of Congress, incited an attack on the United States Capitol. This is known as an act of insurrection, an act of sedition, and frankly he is a traitor to our country. He's a traitor to the United States.

It's debatable whether Donald Trump's incendiary words at the “Stop the Steal" rally legally qualify as incitement, but it's clear that Trump, like a common psychopath, was pleased when the attack took place. He resisted acting to protect Congress members, and this wasn't because he was momentarily paralyzed with shock, like he was in the middle of reading The Pet Goat. He called Republican senators and asked them to delay the electoral vote count. Trump tried to leverage a domestic terrorist attack for his own immediate benefit. The congresswoman is right: This asshole is a traitor.

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Oh boy, the news started moving fast last night!

GOP Rep. John Katko of New York was the first House Republican to say he'd vote for impeachment. Soon after, Liz Cheney, the number three Republican in the House, THWAPPED EVERYBODY ON THE BOTTOM, including House leadership, when she said she would also too like to impeach Donald Trump. Her statement, it was a doozy.

An excerpt:

Much more will become clear in coming days and weeks, but what we know now is enough. The President of the United States summoned his mob, assembled the mob, and lit the flame of this attack. Everything that followed was his doing. None of this would have happened without the President. [...] There has never been a greater betrayal by a President of the United States of his office and his oath to the Constitution.

But wait, did she really thwap House leadership on the bottom? More on that in a sec.

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F*ck You, Dead Phil Spector

He was a murderer and an abuser and he should rot.

Phil Spector is dead. 81 years old, natural causes. Not in prison, where he has been for the last eleven or so years, but in a nearby hospital. Hopefully alone.

There are going to be a lot of remembrances today talking about how he was a pioneering music producer, how he created the wall of sound, how he is responsible for some of the best music ever made. These things are true. What is also true is that he was a murderer and an abuser and just an all around rotten person in a startling variety of ways.

People will talk about his talent. And yes, he may have had talent, but he destroyed talent as well. When he married Ronnie Spector (neé Bennett) of The Ronettes — one of the great talents of her generation — he pulled her right off the stage at the height of her career and kept her locked in his mansion, with bars on the windows, monitoring intercoms, surrounded by barbed wire and guard dogs and ten-foot electric gates. Literally. She didn't see so much as a movie the entire time they were together. He surprised her with adopted children to force her to stay. He also bought a large golden coffin and told her that if she tried to escape, he would kill her and put her dead body on display in it, telling her mother it was "so I can keep an eye on her after she's dead.". He hid her shoes so that she could not escape, and when she finally did escape, with the help of her mother, it was in bare feet.

"I knew that if I didn't leave I was going to die there," she said.

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Post-Racial America

No, GOP, Dr. King Would’ve Also Wanted To Impeach The MFer

Rep. Nancy Mace, please remove Dr. King from your Trump-defending mouth.

It's that time of year when Republicans insult our intelligence and Dr. Martin Luther King's memory with nonsensical statements about the civil rights leader. Let them tell it, Dr. King was a supply-side loving, promoter of color-blind “unity," hardly revolutionary at all. Conservatives selectively quote Dr. King as if he wrote greeting card messages or the lyrics to Bobby McFerrin's “Don't Worry Be Happy."

South Carolina Republican House Rep. Nancy Mace got a head start on the annual hypocrisy when she invoked Dr. King as part of her BS rationale for not voting to impeach Donald Trump.

Dr. Martin Luther King once said, "The time is always right to do what is right." And if we're serious about healing the divisions in this country, Republicans and Democrats need to acknowledge this is not the first day of violence we've seen.

This is what happens when a white woman buys a MLK Quote of the Day calendar. The Capitol hasn't been attacked since 1814, but Mace compared some stupid kid burning a CVS to Trump's attempted insurrection. That's just pathetic. She's awarded no points and may God have mercy on her soul.

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Prison Industrial Complex

'Pro-Life' SCOTUS Justices Best Ever At Killing People

Sonia Sotomayor has some things to say about that.

Donald Trump has decided to end his last few months in office with a killing spree. And as thematically correct as it may be, it's also really fucked up. So far, his administration has fast-tracked the execution of 13 federal inmates, including last night's execution of Dustin Higgs, following a nearly 20-year moratorium on federal executions.

And it wasn't an easy one! The six conservative judges, three of whom were appointed by Trump himself, had to bend several rules in order to make that happen. A district court had stopped Higgs from being executed because federal law requires executions of death row inmates to be conducted "in the manner prescribed" by the state that gave them the death penalty in the first place — and Maryland, where Higgs was convicted, abolished the death penalty in 2013. Back in January, the Trump administration had sent SCOTUS a letter basically asking the justices to just let him have this one. And that's pretty much what they did. Or it's what we can assume they did, because their reasoning for their ruling was placed in the "shadow docket" meaning that we, the public, cannot see why they ruled the way they did.

The three liberal judges, of course, dissented — and were more than happy to explain why, because there is no need to be shady when you're doing the right thing. In Justice Sonia Sotomayor's dissent, she put things in perspective.

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