Portland, Oregon, Wonkers, This Saturday Is Your Time To Shine!

Hey Portland, whatcha doing? Having some gross fire smoke from your state fires that are so big they're making their own weather? Well good, I wouldn't want to miss Montana's gross fire smoke skies while I am coming to see you!

Important details from WONKMEET.COM:

Saturday, July 24, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.: We'll be meeting at Peninsula Park for a family friendly afternoon in the park. We have picnic tables and restrooms. This is a potluck and BYOB (beer & wine only, please) event. For those that can't make it in person, we'll have a live WonkZoom running for drop ins. Free commemorative sportsball cap! This is going to be major epic.

It IS going to be major epic! Because Shy and I and not one but TWO babbies will be there!

And what is upcoming on the WONKMEET calendar, these wonkmeets put on by wonkers who have seized the means of WONKMEET production? (Special thanks to Uncle Milburn for leading the REVOLUTION!)

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It’s Time We Talked About That John Fetterman Shotgun Incident

Democrats currently control the Senate, at least whenever Joe Manchin finagles a hall pass from Mitch McConnell. Holding the Senate in 2022 is an uphill battle. Democrats need to keep their seats in Arizona, Georgia, Nevada, and New Hampshire. (The last two might actually be tougher than the first couple.) They'd like to pick up seats in Florida, North Carolina, and Ohio, but President Joe Biden lost each one in 2020. Republicans have a coup-state advantage.

Biden did flip back Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, but the Blue Wall is still slightly gelatinous. Pennsylvania seems doable: Biden won the state by a larger margin than Wisconsin, and there's no Republican incumbent, even a dullard like Ron Johnson, defending the seat.

This brings us to Pennsylvania Lt. Governor John Fetterman, who announced his Senate candidacy in February. He received national attention when he mercilessly dragged Donald Trump and his Big Lies about the Pennsylvania presidential election. He's an ideal Democratic candidate in many ways. He's personable, and although he has a masters in public policy from Harvard, he doesn't talk like he studied humanity at an Ivy League school on Vulcan. However, he freely admits that he comes from a privileged background. (The admission doesn't erase the privilege, though, as some Black state officials have already pointed out.)

But there's still that incident, the one we wish hadn't happened. In 2013, as mayor of Braddock, a town just 11 miles outside Pittsburgh, Fetterman pulled a shotgun on an unarmed Black jogger, “detaining" him until the police arrived. Fetterman reportedly heard shots fired outside his home and spotted the man running, which joggers are known to do. According to the police report, “Fetterman continued to yell and state that he knows this male was shooting."

An officer who patted down the man, Christopher Miyares, then 28, found no weapons. The officer noted that Mr. Miyares was wearing running clothes and headphones. Mr. Miyares was released.
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Federalist Writer Shares Incredible Trauma Of Learning 'Critical Race Theory' In School

Conservatives are always freaking out about schools in one way or another. Are they saying the Pledge enough? Why can't there be prayer in schools? Why can't we teach the controversy that just maybe the earth is actually only 6,000 years old and Adam and Eve were real people who hung out with dinosaurs? What if instead of giving children comprehensive sex-ed, a thing that has been proven to be effective, we tell them to just save themselves for their wedding day unless they want to be an icky piece of chewed gum? Why are trans children being allowed to go to the bathroom?

Now, as you've probably noticed, they're on about Critical Race Theory, or whatever it is that they think "Critical Race Theory" is, because none of them can actually define it. Most, however, seem to define it as learning anything whatsoever about the existence of systemic racism. Because if no one ever talks about systemic racism, those who benefit from it are free to go on doing so, unbothered.

As such, conservatives are trying their level best to show how incredibly frightening "Critical Race Theory" is, frequently with hilarious results — as in the article The Federalist published today.

In the very dramatically titled "My High School Taught Me Critical Race Theory Six Years Ago And Tried To Reeducate Me When I Fought Back," Federalist intern Spencer Lindquist tells the terrifying story of the time his Tennessee high school briefly tried to teach him how not to be a racist asshole.

Now, we must be fair. It is entirely possible that we are the ones who don't understand "Critical Race Theory" and that what Lindquist was exposed to was truly bad and traumatizing.

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Let's Check In With The Guy Who Says Trump Aced His Dementia Test

We don't know what clown college gave Rep. Ronny Jackson (R-Texas) his medical degree — just kidding, yes we do, it was the University of Texas, WHA HAPPEN, Y'ALL? — but we'd like to report to all the medical licensing boards that his brain is still broken.

Jackson, who used to be the White House doctor until this one TEENY little drunky pill-pushing scandal came out, and who while serving as White House doctor bragged that Donald Trump was a 239-pound man who FUCKIN' ACED his dementia test, has said another braindead. This time it's about vaccines!

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Snake Oil And General Woo

The Pandemic's Biggest Scammer Is A Monster Of The Media's Own Creation

Dr. Joseph Mercola has been peddling his nonsense for years.

Today, The New York Times ran a less-than-glowing profile on Dr. Joseph Mercola, the man a recent study says has been the biggest spreader of coronavirus misinformation since the beginning of the pandemic. The man has made millions off of selling fake cures and otherwise scaring your relatives into not getting the vaccine, putting us all in danger. This is not the first critical article they've written on him during the pandemic and it probably will not be the last.

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Right-Wing Sites Say It's Actually More Woke To Keep Racist Baseball Team Names

They're pretty desperate at this point, we guess.

For some conservatives, using racial slurs or whining about how it's not fair that Black people can use the n-word and they can't is simply not enough. They need, for whatever reason, to also have sports teams with racial slurs for names, and they need it desperately.

So desperately, in fact, that two prominent conservative sites actually tried to make the case that it would be more woke for the newly-minted Cleveland Guardians to stay the Cleveland Indians.

On Breitbart, Alana Mastrangelo tried to make the case that changing the name was an insult to Cleveland Spider's Louis Sockalexis, the first Native American in major league baseball, to whom the name was supposedly, possibly a tribute.

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Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Would Like To Kiss You But We Just Washed Our Hair

Come see your favorite stories of the week!

Happy weekend, friends!

How's tricks? You having a nice weekend so far? Brunching? Seen the new Ted Lasso yet? You ready to read our top ten? Good, cause I'm keeping it short and sweet today.

Here we go!

10. GOP, Fox News Idiots Perhaps Not Yet Fully Committed To COVID Vaccine Sparkle Motion — Surely they'll get it together next week, except probably not. From Evan!

9. Iowa Defunded Planned Parenthood And Guess What They Got More Of? — If you guessed abortions ... you are correct. From me!

8. Bitcoin Dipsh*t Will Make Phoning Great Again With Buggy Chinese Handset — Do you love America enough to get this terrible FREEDOM PHONE that will actually probably spy on you more than your regular one? Hope not! From Liz

7. Marjorie Taylor Greene And Matt Gaetz Can't Take Themselves Anywhere — You know, honestly, it's a jazzy headline for sure and I am proud of it, but I do not think this was my best work, largely because I have a hard time getting too het up about this kind of shit and I think that usually comes across. Apparently the people disagreed!

6. Some Trumpers Going To Emergency, Some Trumpers Going To Jail — They are a diverse group. From Liz!

5. In Which Liz Cheney Takes A Righteous Dump On Fellow Republican Kevin McCarthy — Rebecca wrote a thing about Liz Cheney doing a non-characteristically non-shitty thing! Nice!

4. Trump Waddles In From Golf Course To Tell Reporters Who He Hates Today. Surprise! It Is Everyone. — Who would have guessed? From Liz

3. Welcome to Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Special, The Cosmopolitan! — How very "Sex and The City" of us, and also of Wonkette's resident mixologist Matthew Hooper! Please do not ask me further questions about "Sex and The City" because that's really the main thing I know about it.

2. Right Wing Coffee Companies Scramble To Win The Hearts And Cups Of America's Worst People — That's me again

1. Evangelical Pastor: Either Gay People Exist Or Evolution Happened. Can't Have Both! — Also me! Has anyone else noticed that the right has started getting their creationism on again?

Ooh! And tonight, those of you in Portland have a very exciting meet-up with Rebecca, Shy, the Babbies AND Stephen, because he's actually located there. Fun! I am jealous!

Saturday, July 24, 11 a.m.-5 p.m.: We'll be meeting at Peninsula Park for a family friendly afternoon in the park. We have picnic tables and restrooms. This is a potluck and BYOB (beer & wine only, please) event. For those that can't make it in person, we'll have a live WonkZoom running for drop ins. Free commemorative sportsball cap! This is going to be major epic.

Good times!

I've got another photo collage of Bear for you guys, and then I'm out to go find other stuff to write about. Also good times!


ziggywiggy says:

This is Bear, as a kitten he was rescued from the street on a cold wet October night. A stranger found him and handed him over to my roommate because he had nowhere to keep him. She then gave him to me. He had been stuck to a glue trap(used for rats) and his tail was stuck to his leg. Half his whiskers had been cut off but he was so happy to be inside. Making biscuits in the air as we ready him for a bath. As he grew into a beautiful long haired Siberian he loved for me to carry him like a baby.


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