F*ck Matt Rosendale In The Eyeholes Of His White Hood: A Letter To My Congressman!

Dear My Congressman Matt Rosendale:

Today I saw a stupid woman being wrong on the Internet. She was sniffing about the insufficiency of the brand-spanking-new federal holiday "Juneteenth," commemorating the end of slavery in our country (which actually kept going until the 1960s, but, you know, officially), and this is what she said:

tweet: "A holiday in june so kids will not be in school to learn about it .."

LOL, Matt Rosendale, that white lady is so "woke" that she is demanding to speak to a manager and find out which DICK white people put Juneteenth in JUNE.

That is pretty stupid!

You are stupider, and also a slimy wormy gob of racist shit. Let's explore!

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Federalist Guy Weeps For His Boner As Victoria’s Secret Ditches Angels

Victoria's Secret is trying to change. They're getting rid of the very outdated-seeming Angels (which only even became a thing in the late '90s) and replacing them with the more modern VS Collective — featuring soccer star Megan Rapinoe, actress Priyanka Chopra, South Sudanese-Australian runway model Adut Akech, Amanda de Cadenet of The Conversation, skier Eileen Gu, plus size model Paloma Elsesser, and trans model Valentina Sampaio.

Victoria's Secret collective

It's unlikely that they have suddenly decided to become not-terrible out of the goodness of their hearts, but rather because no one wants to buy anything from them anymore and they can't sell anything to save their lives. There are many, many reasons for this! For one, while there was a time when Victoria's Secret was the only actual bra store many women could even go to, there are tons of options now — brick and mortar and online. They're better and they come in more than four sizes, making the appeal of sobbing in a Victoria's Secret dressing room while an attendant assures you that you must be a 36C is even lower than it once was. But the fact that they have notoriously gross labor practices, a history of making comments about how they'd never have trans or "plus size" (meaning a size 10) models in their runway shows, and generally seeming like a throwback to a more embarrassing time for women probably didn't help them much either. So they're trying to get with the times a little.

Naturally, a whole bunch of rightwing cisgender men are outraged, as they are pretty sure that the models for a brand meant to target women should give them boners.

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Joe Manchin Forces GOP To Admit Their Party Of Gross Losers Can't Win If Americans Are Allowed To Vote

Can we just cut the shit here for a hot second? If we get rid of partisan gerrymandering, Republicans will never win the House again. They know it, and we know it. Which is why Joe Manchin's latest election reform proposal has gotten support from Stacey Abrams and exactly zero Republicans. Manchin proposes a federal law mandating non-partisan redistricting, which would lock Republicans out of the House until they start passing bills Americans actually like. So, unless we ditch the filibuster, it's never going to happen.

It's just math: Republican turnout in 2020 was massive, and they still ran 4.6 million total House votes behind Democrats — a three percent margin which left Speaker Nancy Pelosi in charge, but with the barest majority. Without Trump on the ballot in 2018, Democratic votes outnumbered Republicans by 8.6 percent. That was a wave year for the Blue Team, but demographics are not on the Red Team's side, even with the boost they get by having one Republican representative for Wyoming's 578,000 people, while California's 53-member House delegation represent 745,000 people each. Brass Tacks: Gen Z does not vote Republican. Which is why the GOP is doing everything it can to make it harder for younger, browner people to vote.

So, yes, let's talk about the pretty good election reform proposal Joe Manchin has put forward as an alternative to the For the People Act, the blockbuster election reform bill supported by the rest of the Democratic caucus. And let's applaud that he appears to be significantly more open to filibuster reform behind closed doors than he is in public. But here on Planet Earth, pigs will fly before 10 Republicans sign on to support this thing. (And before we start reflexively attacking the only Democrat who could win in West Virginia, please note that the senior senator from Arizona, which voted for Biden, isn't doing shit to build consensus, and appears to spend much of her time faffing off to drink margaritas.)

With that said, here's what the second most powerful guy in DC is proposing:

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In America, Safe Space Oppresses YOU! And Other Lessons From New North Korean Rightwing Star!

Looks like the Right has found a new media star, 27-year-old Yeonmi Park, who as a child escaped North Korea with her mother, made her way through China and the Gobi Desert, and in 2015 published a memoir, In Order to Live. In addition to her work as a human rights activist, she's now branching out with a bunch of appearances in rightwing media, such as an interview with Fox News published yesterday and a guest spot on Jordan Peterson's lobster-cooking podcast. She just wants to warn us all that the "woke" climate at American universities is pretty much indistinguishable from the Stalinist indoctrination you'd find in North Korea. Yes, really. She has a bright career ahead of her, we're certain.

She bases this judgment on her experience pursuing a humanities degree at Columbia University in Manhattan, starting in 2016, and while neither the Fox story nor a companion story in Rupert Murdoch's New York Post specifically says she has an upcoming book to flog, we bet one's on the way. Because after all, who better to document the astonishing similarities between North Korea and an Ivy League liberal arts program than someone who has survived both?

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Post-Racial America

Holiday Celebrating End Of Slavery Very Divisive, Say Assholes

For some reason, who knows?

Yesterday, June 17, was a pretty momentous day. Joe Biden signed the Juneteenth national holiday into law, and so now we have a federal holiday marking the end of slavery, which is a pretty big deal. Among those in the White House for the signing was Opal Lee, 94, who headed the effort to make the holiday not just a Texas thing, but a national holiday, even walking from Fort Worth to Washington in 2016, when she was nearly 90, to publicize the cause.

It's a really happy occasion, so of course the White Grievance crowd had a problem with it. So let's take a look at some of the less enlightened responses to America's newest national celebration, before we consign them to the ash heap of history. We promise to close with happy stuff!

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Dem Congressman Proposes Radical Legislation Allowing People To Fix Stuff They Own

Congressman Joe Morelle introduces right-to-repair legislation.

Most of us operate under the assumption that if we buy things, they belong to us and we should be able to do what we want with them, that if they break, we should be able to fix them ourselves or take them anywhere we want to get them fixed. This is the case with most things. If I have a dress and the strap comes off, I should be able to sew it back myself or go down to the dry cleaners and pay them to do it. It would be super weird (and inconvenient!) if I had to take it back to the store where I bought it to get it fixed.

Alas, that is the case with electronics and products made with them. Certain phones, cars, tractors, wheelchairs, and increasingly anything with a computer-related component can only be fixed by the manufacturer. An Apple product only be fixed by Apple technicians — they won't sell the parts or give you the schematics needed to fix it, even if you are totally qualified to do it yourself.

On Thursday, Rep. Joe Morelle (D-NY) proposed legislation that would change that. While there are right-to-repair laws floating around the legislatures of at least half of the states, the Fair Repair Act would establish a nationalized law, which would certainly make more sense. If people in one state are able to see schematics, it would be difficult to keep that information from reaching other states.

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Biden DOJ Tells West Virginia And Arkansas To Cut The Sh*t, Quit Kicking Trans Kids!

Happy Pride, y'all!

What a difference an AG makes! With Bill Barr out and Merrick Garland in as attorney general, the federal government is finally sticking up for trans kids amid an onslaught of state laws targeting them for harassment and abuse. Yesterday, the Justice Department sought to intervene in cases pending in West Virginia and Arkansas involving access to medical treatment and educational equality for trans kids. Because protecting children is what decent adults do, and now we have some of them running the executive branch.

On Wednesday the Department of Education clarified that excluding trans kids from athletic teams would be considered a violation of Title VII — a reversal of Betsy DeVos's parting kick at LGBTQ youth — and threatened to withhold funds from jurisdictions that violated the civil rights of trans students. Then yesterday the DOJ filed a statement of interest on behalf of an 11-year-old girl being excluded from joining the middle school track team under a recently enacted West Virginia law.

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