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How Did Donald Trump Fight Coronavirus On Thursday? Pfffffffft, How Did He NOT?

On Thursday, the stock market tanked almost 1,200 points, making it the greatest one-day drop in history. Worldwide coronavirus fears continued to spread, but it's OK, because Mike Pence is on the case, or maybe HHS Secretary Alex Azar is on the case, or maybe this other lady who actually does know science things about viruses is on the case, but whatever, it's cool. An HHS whistleblower says a bunch of HHS workers were sent to greet coronavirus evacuees landing at air bases in California without the proper training or protective gear, and sent back into the world without proper testing, and they reassigned her and told her to shut up or get fired, but really, we are sure it's fine.

Point is, they got this.

And to show you how much the president himself has it under control, here is Donald Trump meeting with the coronavirus task force Diamond and Silk in the White House on Thursday.

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Weirdo Whistleblower Thinks 'Touch Me I'm Sick' Bad Way To Respond To Coronavirus, What A Weirdo

The Washington Post published a hell of a story yesterday afternoon, detailing a whistleblower complaint from a senior official in the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The official, based in Washington, said 14 HHS employees were deployed to two airbases in California to help with Americans repatriated from Wuhan, China. But according to a redacted copy of the complaint given to the Post by the whistleblower's lawyers, the HHS workers weren't trained to deal with highly infectious diseases, and met face-to-face with the returnees without wearing any protective gear.

Then they were allowed to, like, leave.

The complaint alleges HHS staffers were "improperly deployed" and were "not properly trained or equipped to operate in a public health emergency situation." The complaint also alleges the workers were potentially exposed to coronavirus because appropriate steps were not taken to protect them and staffers were not trained in wearing personal protective equipment, even though they had face-to-face contact with returning passengers. The workers were in contact with passengers in an airplane hangar where evacuees were received and on two other occasions: when they helped distribute keys for room assignments and hand out colored ribbons for identification purposes.

In some instances, the teams were working alongside personnel from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in "full gown, gloves and hazmat attire," the complaint said.

Well that's nice. For her efforts to call attention to the potential risk to the HHS workers, including alerting higher-ups in the office of HHS Secretary Alex Azar, the whistleblower says she was retaliated against by being reassigned to a job outside her area of expertise, and informed if she refuses the reassignment, she'll be fired.

As of blogtime, Donald Trump hasn't yet taken to Twitter to demand she be tried for spying and treason, or to suggest that she merely misunderstood his perfect call with the coronavirus, so there's that.

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Court Kicks PragerU's 'Free Speech' Lawsuit Right In The Dick

Pour one out for Dennis Prager, and Devin Nunes, and his lawyer Steven Biss, and Sean Hannity, and all the other vexatious litigants who think they're going to use the First Amendment to sue American companies into becoming part of the conservative noise machine. The Ninth Circuit just benchslapped the shit out of PragerU's moronic lawsuit against YouTube, through its parent company Google. (You remember PragerU, yes? Wingnut idiot Dennis Prager's fake college?) Or, more accurately, they benchslapped the shit out of Prager's hatemongering sleaze machine AGAIN, since US District Judge Lucy Koh of the Northern District of California already told them to get bent two years ago.

Yesterday's decision described the plaintiff thusly:

PragerU is a nonprofit educational and media organization with a mission to "provide conservative viewpoints and perspective on public issues that it believes are often overlooked." PragerU does not confer certificates or degrees. Instead, the organization creates short videos for high-school, college, and graduate school-age audiences and shares them on the Internet.

That is an extraordinarily charitable characterization. We at Wonkette might instead refer to them as shit-peddling, immigrant-bashing, grifters of the highest order. Which is why we wrote such articles as "Dennis Prager Feels Like The Left's N-Word Because He Can't Just Say ... You Know," "Dennis Prager Will Not Be Bullied By Anne Frank," and "Dennis Prager: A Lying Liar Telling Lies About Yr Wonkette". We report, you decide, as Dennis's pals might say.

In the original complaint filed by Prager University (the scare quotes are implied), these First Amendment warriors bitched about brutal censorship by the evil Google overlords.

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Someone’s Still Gonna Have To Make You A Latte Even If They Have Coronavirus

Writer Lauren Hough posted a compelling Twitter thread Thursday that's worth reading, in light of the coronavirus pandemic. It reminded us that the people who prepare our food, clean our homes, and otherwise keep the world spinning aren't robots. They get sick and because they aren't tech executives, they can't afford to take time off to recover from the sniffles or that pesky walking pneumonia.

Most of the Democratic candidates have some plan for paid family leave. Washington Senator Patty Murray introduced the Healthy Families Act last year. The legislation would provide up to seven job-protected paid sick days each year for workers at businesses with 15 or more employees. If you work somewhere with fewer than 15 employees, your sick time is unpaid, which means you won't take any because you enjoy eating and living indoors. You can also use this time to care for a sick relative, so parents specifically will likely use up their days playing nursemaid to sick kids and return to work with turbo-charged versions of the same illness.

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fox news

If You Liked Jesus Feeding The 5,000, You're Gonna LOVE Trump Sucking And Spitting The 60,000!

Mike Huckabee is disgusting.

Conservative comedian Mike Huckabee is at it again! And he -- like so many other Republicans right now -- is bitching and moaning about how Democrats are using the coronavirus to make Donald Trump look like some kind of idiot, as if he hasn't brought all the best experts in America to harness a robust response to the crisis. Hello? Diamond and also Silk were at the White House yesterday? We are sure they made a plan of some sort?

Huckabee went on the Laura Ingraham White Nationalist Cuddle Hour last evening, and he said what perhaps was the absolute grossest thing he could have said, while attempting to make a dumbfuck point about how Trump could personally cure coronavirus himself and Democrats would still hate him. (Not true. If Trump claimed to have somehow cured coronavirus with his tiny paws and his stable genius brain, we would simply point out that he is lying.)

Hope you just had lunch and were in the mood to hurl it up:

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News

White House Finds Coronavirus Lie-Strategy That's Sure To Work Until At LEAST Tomorrow

What if no science experts were allowed to go on TV ever?

Now that Mike Pence has taken charge of the nation's coronavirus response, he's taking bold action! Not necessarily to do anything to stop the spread of the disease, but man, is he ever on top of his most important role: controlling all government messaging about the disease and what the Trump administration is doing, and making sure no damn doctors say anything that might make the Great Leader look bad.

Following yesterday's announcement that all agencies must clear their coronavirus messaging through Pence's office, today we learned exactly who will be in charge of giving loyalty oaths to every official communication about the outbreak: Katie Miller, Pence's press secretary and the recent bride of Trump's immigration Obersturmbannführer, Stephen Miller. CNN reports she'll have to approve all statements by coronavirus task force members before they go on TV or talk to reporters:

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Right Wing Extremism

Nazi Suddenly Realizes Being Nazi Bad, Right Before Being Sentenced To Prison

How convenient!

On Wednesday, the Justice Department announced five arrests nationwide of members of Atomwaffen Division, a violent neo-Nazi group fond of stalking and harassing those it disagrees with.

The arrests included the former leader of Atomwaffen, John Denton, who was charged for his part in "swatting events" that targeted a black church, journalists, a university, and an unidentified cabinet official. The journalists were from ProPublica, which had been producing a series called "Documenting Hate" that outed another Atomwaffen member, Kaleb Cole.

Cole was one of the other Atomwaffen members arrested for harassing other journalists and members of the ADL.

On Friday, Andrew Thomasberg, 21, another member of Atomwaffen Division who was arrested last year for possessing firearms while being a drug user and lying while purchasing a firearm, faced sentencing in an Alexandria, Virginia, courtroom. Thomasberg was once a top recruiter for the Atomwaffen as well as the leader of the group's Virginia chapter.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Congressman From 'Hee Haw' BURNIN' DOWN That Georgia Senate Race!

He DGAF.

The Devil went down to Georgia, he said, "Hi, I'm from the National Republican Senatorial Committee. Let me help you cut some super-fuckin' racist ads against one of your own."

And it sure looks like the Georgia GOP will be getting that fiddle of gold! Check this out.

Doug Collins wants you to think he's a conservative. But before last August when a senate seat opened up, he was far less supportive of the president.

Hold up! That guy talks like Boomhauer on speed, but we're pretty sure we'd remember if he'd announced his support for Mexican gaybortions while prostrating himself at Nancy Pelosi's feet. The supercut of Collins saying he doesn't agree with everything Trump does, as a prelude to an obvious defense of the latest indefensible assault on democracy -- minus the defense -- is also a nice touch.

But HOLY WILLIE HORTON, what is this shit?

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News

Fox News Explains How To Prevent Coronavirus: Sterilize Democrats

Just waiting for a good 'caravan' panic now.

Fox News has been really big on warning its viewers there's an epidemic out there: an outbreak of terrible Democrats trying to destroy Donald Trump by claiming the administration is not up to speed on handling the coronavirus outbreak.

On "Fox & Friends" this morning, proud non-hand-washer Pete Hegseth told viewers Democrats are "rooting for coronavirus to spread" so it will harm Trump's re-election campaign, because that's just how insane and evil they are.

And listen, I don't want to say this, it's not, it doesn't -- I don't relish the reality, but you start to feel -- you really do, watch the Democrats, watch the media -- you start to feel like they're rooting for coronavirus to spread. And I don't say that flippantly, I really don't, but they're rooting for it to grow, they're rooting for the problem to get worse, they're rooting for mysteries, unknown cases, quarantines, towns, for it to become an absolute national crisis for one reason and one reason alone. They have yet to find a reason to try to drag down the presidency of Donald Trump.

Hegseth went on to say what America really needs to do is to come together and start "pointing the finger exactly where it should be, which is at China, which has not contained this [...] and that's become something we should all agree on" -- so we can all support the administration, which is trying to keep us safe.

The same basic point was pushed by Mick Mulvaney, Trump's budget director, (acting) chief of staff, and the newest member of the coronavirus task force, who explained at CPAC today that the administration actually ended coronavirus last month by stopping flights from China, but nobody noticed, you see.

"Why didn't you hear about it? What was still going on four or five weeks ago? Impeachment, and that's all the press wanted to talk about" [...]

"The press was covering their hoax of the day because they thought it would bring down the president," Mulvaney concluded. "The reason you're seeing so much attention to [the coronavirus] today is that they think this is going to be what brings down the president. That's what this is all about."

Wow, we'd have sworn we actually saw a trial and everything, but apparently even that was a hoax, just like the coronavirus!

Mulvaney went on to explain that the best way to calm the record stock market downturn sparked by fears of the epidemic's economic impact would be to just ignore the virus so it will have time to go away, possibly through the "miracle" Donald Trump predicted yesterday. He said he'd told a reporter exactly how he'd settle everyone down:

I'm like, "Really what I might do today [to] calm the markets is tell people turn their televisions off for 24 hours."

Not that you'd want to watch anything but Fox News anyway, where the coverage has focused on the evil Democrats trying to scare people about the virus to hurt Donald Trump, and of course where Tucker Carlson has been blaming the disease on foreign people and diversity.

By the way, later Friday in a House hearing, in a testy-ass exchange with Democratic Rep. Ted Lieu, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to say Mick Mulvaney was wrong when he called coronavirus a "hoax," because that is a "gotcha" question.

Then he waddled off to CPAC, where people don't hold him accountable and the questions aren't hard.

But back to Fox News!

Just today, Fox had the Hegseth bit, as well as another "Fox & Friends" segment where Donald Trump Jr. agreed Dems "seemingly hope that it comes here, and kills millions of people so they can end Donald Trump's streak of winning," calling that a "new level of sickness," because duh, anyone who opposes Trump is evil and wants people to get sick. He even added a very funny joke! "I don't know if this is coronavirus or Trump Derangement Syndrome, but these people are infected badly."

Fox's serious and real news website also featured a story on Geraldo Rivera saying in a radio interview yesterday that -- get ready for it -- he is

deeply disappointed in the response of Democrats who have chosen to weaponize this apolitical virus. Shame on them for what they have done. They have attempted to use this to ridicule the president and to campaign against him. Shame on them.

Then there was the charming Tucker Carlson column today explaining that instead of studying things that matter, the CDC was studying dumb liberal stuff like "social determinants of health in a diverse neighborhood in Georgia" two years ago, which he proclaimed had turned up "Nothing that helps us fight a rising pandemic." It had to be worthless, because after all, "diverse" was in the description. He also had nothing but scorn for "Another $300,000.00 CDC grant funded to look at how an American Indian tribe in Washington State could improve health outcomes by eating traditional foods." Like American Indians are even real!

He explained that while doctors may want to study disease prevention, they're actually ordered to study dumb diversity stuff instead because of identity politics, and if coronavirus spreads, it will be because liberals prevented the CDC from doing its job.

Does Carlson mention Trump's decision to gut HHS's leadership for pandemic planning? Of course not. That was just smart management, we suppose.

The unrelenting focus on how those dirty liberals are politicizing the disease outbreak prompted this tweet from a Daily Kos editor this morning:

Well ha-ha Herman, Ms. Liberal! By the time we looked at Fox's website, it had an entire one story on prevention, so there!

Sure, it went up this morning, and it's video-only, with no accompanying article, but it mentions prevention, at least after a clip showing Mike Pence taking charge of keeping America safe. The Fox News doctor, Marc Siegel, talked a lot more about the current lack of test kits for coronavirus, which sure sounded like an attempt to bring down Trump by saying the administration isn't ready for the challenge, but eventually he did say you should wash your hands and disinfect surfaces, so that surely balances out the week of bullshit so far, don't you think? He also said categorically that no one who's sick should go to work, without noting that isn't exactly easy if you're not a Fox News correspondent.

And now, the Fox News front page is back to normal, with this up top, and the prevention video still in the sidebar.

Hmm. We know what we're washing our hands of.

[Media Matters / Fox News / NBC News / Fox News / Fox News]

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Healthcare

CPAC Speaker Claims Princess Diana MURDERED By Socialized Medicine (Spoiler: She Was Not!)

France actually has one of the highest-rated healthcare systems in the world.

At the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) yesterday, an orthopedic surgeon named Dr. David Schneider terrified a crowd full of, well, the kind of people who go to CPAC, by telling them Princess Diana was killed by socialized medicine — and before she could ever go on a date with Donald Trump. Oh, the humanity of it all!

Via RawStory:

"Socialized medicine killed Princess Diana," the announcer revealed before asking one of the panelists to explain why.

"Princess Diana was in the car accident in France," Dr. David Schneider, an orthopedic surgeon, told the crowd. "They actually don't have any trauma specialists in France."

"For the first hour after that accident, she was still in that tunnel," he continued. "And after an hour, they took her to a nearby hospital and she was alive for another three hours and they couldn't control the bleeding from her pulmonary artery."

According to Schneider, "there were no trauma trained people there."

"I really believe, knowing what I know about her care and comparing it to what Congressman Scalise had, Princess Diana would have lived had that accident happened here in America," he concluded.

It should not shock you to know that this is not at all what happened. Even sort of.

First of all, ambulances in France are different from ambulances in the United States. There is a doctor on them and they are equipped to deal with emergency life-saving situations in a way ambulances here are not. In fact, very often, a French ambulance will come and take care of an emergency without needing to bring the person to the actual emergency room, leaving the triage line shorter for those whose emergencies absolutely necessitate an ER visit.

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News

Odd-Looking 42-Year-Old Manchild Will Bring Cool GOP Kids To Polls For Daddy

Sure, that'll work.

Hillary Clinton crushed Donald Trump among 18-to-29-year-old voters in 2016. Democrats in 2018 collectively did even better against Republicans with that demo, although fewer turned out. There was probably a concert that night. Republicans are now starting to worry that Bernie Sanders, if he were somehow the nominee, might lure young people away from their avocado toast with his pandering concern for their futures and overall well-being. However, they have a plan in place for raising an electoral army of smug young conservatives. This plan involves the president's first-born Tweedledum, Donald Trump Jr., and his adopted Tweedledee, Charlie Kirk. It is not a good plan.

Politico described the pair of Ken dolls as "the 42-year-old son of a billionaire president and his 26-year-old friend." How pathetic is your life when -- even in middle-age -- you're still defined as your father's son? Despite his years of consistent douchebaggery, Trump Jr. will forever remain in the shadow of his father's asshole. Kirk at least founded the awful Turning Point USA. He's pulled his bigotry up by its bootstraps.

Trump Jr. would like nothing more than for his father to remember his name, and he probably figures improving the president's numbers with young voters could help. Trump Jr. is touring college campuses with Kirk and speaking nonsense to people who can't find the exits quickly enough. He usually brings a collection of Milton Berle-fresh jokes about liberals and the oppressive PC culture that prevents someone from crudely shouting at Joe Biden, "OK, Boomer, you've got dementia!" Of course, Trump Jr. was able to say just that without suffering any negative repercussions.

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Trump

How Did Donald Trump Fight Coronavirus On Thursday? Pfffffffft, How Did He NOT?

President Stable Genius GOT THIS, y'all.

On Thursday, the stock market tanked almost 1,200 points, making it the greatest one-day drop in history. Worldwide coronavirus fears continued to spread, but it's OK, because Mike Pence is on the case, or maybe HHS Secretary Alex Azar is on the case, or maybe this other lady who actually does know science things about viruses is on the case, but whatever, it's cool. An HHS whistleblower says a bunch of HHS workers were sent to greet coronavirus evacuees landing at air bases in California without the proper training or protective gear, and sent back into the world without proper testing, and they reassigned her and told her to shut up or get fired, but really, we are sure it's fine.

Point is, they got this.

And to show you how much the president himself has it under control, here is Donald Trump meeting with the coronavirus task force Diamond and Silk in the White House on Thursday.

Keep reading...
campaign finance

Matt Gaetz Is ... Right About A Thing???

Credit where credit is due.

Yesterday at CPAC, Florida Congressman Matt Gaetz announced that he will no longer accept money from political action committees, better known as PACs. And while we are no fans of Matt Gaetz, we will acknowledge that this is a good thing. Even padded with Trump-humping and digs at socialism, this was an impressive speech.

This PAC donation process, with the expectation of exchanging money for favors, renders public service, which should be the noblest of professions, dangerously close to the oldest profession. I've never turned tricks for Washington PACs, but as of this very moment, I will not pick up their money in the nightstand anymore. I will never again accept a donation from a federal political action committee. Not one red cent. The American people are my one and only special interest.

You gotta give it up for Matt Gaetz. Not because it's a huge hit for his congressional campaign, which it isn't. This cycle, he's taken in a whopping $43,550 from PACs. He doesn't need the money anyway, since his seat is in one of the reddest districts in the country, and he can hold it forever for about eight bucks, particularly because he gets infinity free media appearing on Fox every other day preaching the gospel of Jesus Trump and yowling about socialism.

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News

Weirdo Whistleblower Thinks 'Touch Me I'm Sick' Bad Way To Respond To Coronavirus, What A Weirdo

Probably just another plot to make the Trump administration look incompetent.

The Washington Post published a hell of a story yesterday afternoon, detailing a whistleblower complaint from a senior official in the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). The official, based in Washington, said 14 HHS employees were deployed to two airbases in California to help with Americans repatriated from Wuhan, China. But according to a redacted copy of the complaint given to the Post by the whistleblower's lawyers, the HHS workers weren't trained to deal with highly infectious diseases, and met face-to-face with the returnees without wearing any protective gear.

Then they were allowed to, like, leave.

The complaint alleges HHS staffers were "improperly deployed" and were "not properly trained or equipped to operate in a public health emergency situation." The complaint also alleges the workers were potentially exposed to coronavirus because appropriate steps were not taken to protect them and staffers were not trained in wearing personal protective equipment, even though they had face-to-face contact with returning passengers. The workers were in contact with passengers in an airplane hangar where evacuees were received and on two other occasions: when they helped distribute keys for room assignments and hand out colored ribbons for identification purposes.

In some instances, the teams were working alongside personnel from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in "full gown, gloves and hazmat attire," the complaint said.

Well that's nice. For her efforts to call attention to the potential risk to the HHS workers, including alerting higher-ups in the office of HHS Secretary Alex Azar, the whistleblower says she was retaliated against by being reassigned to a job outside her area of expertise, and informed if she refuses the reassignment, she'll be fired.

As of blogtime, Donald Trump hasn't yet taken to Twitter to demand she be tried for spying and treason, or to suggest that she merely misunderstood his perfect call with the coronavirus, so there's that.

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News

Part-Time Truck Driver Ted Cruz Defends Hardworkin' Americans From Latte-Sippin' Liberals

Now, we remember why it was so much fun watching Cruz lose to Donald Trump.

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) is this week, and Republicans gathered to confront the looming threats to America, which this year is everyone they hate, same as last year and the year before that. This ranges from Mitt Romney to actual liberals who've done more than just personally offend Donald Trump.

Thursday, Ted Cruz and his rubbish beard described the scourge of liberalism in terms you might've heard at an Occupy Wall Street rally. He went full class warfare on Democrats, whom he laughably claimed are the "party of the rich." Yep, the big money left sings while the working-class slaves.

CRUZ: Today, the Democrats are the party of Hollywood celebrities, Silicon Valley, and Wall Street titans. They sip their lattes and they look down on working-class Americans.

Wow! He found us out. Every Democratic voter fits into at least one of those three categories. And we all love lattes. We're too arrogant and elitist to worry about lactose intolerance.

CRUZ: On the other hand, working men and women here, union members. Blue-collar union members used to form the heart of the Democratic Party -- FDR Democrats, who became Reagan Democrats and today they're Trump Democrats.
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Legal

Court Kicks PragerU's 'Free Speech' Lawsuit Right In The Dick

How many times do we have to tell you, Dennis? First Amendment doesn't apply to companies!

Pour one out for Dennis Prager, and Devin Nunes, and his lawyer Steven Biss, and Sean Hannity, and all the other vexatious litigants who think they're going to use the First Amendment to sue American companies into becoming part of the conservative noise machine. The Ninth Circuit just benchslapped the shit out of PragerU's moronic lawsuit against YouTube, through its parent company Google. (You remember PragerU, yes? Wingnut idiot Dennis Prager's fake college?) Or, more accurately, they benchslapped the shit out of Prager's hatemongering sleaze machine AGAIN, since US District Judge Lucy Koh of the Northern District of California already told them to get bent two years ago.

Yesterday's decision described the plaintiff thusly:

PragerU is a nonprofit educational and media organization with a mission to "provide conservative viewpoints and perspective on public issues that it believes are often overlooked." PragerU does not confer certificates or degrees. Instead, the organization creates short videos for high-school, college, and graduate school-age audiences and shares them on the Internet.

That is an extraordinarily charitable characterization. We at Wonkette might instead refer to them as shit-peddling, immigrant-bashing, grifters of the highest order. Which is why we wrote such articles as "Dennis Prager Feels Like The Left's N-Word Because He Can't Just Say ... You Know," "Dennis Prager Will Not Be Bullied By Anne Frank," and "Dennis Prager: A Lying Liar Telling Lies About Yr Wonkette". We report, you decide, as Dennis's pals might say.

In the original complaint filed by Prager University (the scare quotes are implied), these First Amendment warriors bitched about brutal censorship by the evil Google overlords.

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coronavirus

Someone’s Still Gonna Have To Make You A Latte Even If They Have Coronavirus

Maybe we should let people stay home when they're not well.

Writer Lauren Hough posted a compelling Twitter thread Thursday that's worth reading, in light of the coronavirus pandemic. It reminded us that the people who prepare our food, clean our homes, and otherwise keep the world spinning aren't robots. They get sick and because they aren't tech executives, they can't afford to take time off to recover from the sniffles or that pesky walking pneumonia.

Most of the Democratic candidates have some plan for paid family leave. Washington Senator Patty Murray introduced the Healthy Families Act last year. The legislation would provide up to seven job-protected paid sick days each year for workers at businesses with 15 or more employees. If you work somewhere with fewer than 15 employees, your sick time is unpaid, which means you won't take any because you enjoy eating and living indoors. You can also use this time to care for a sick relative, so parents specifically will likely use up their days playing nursemaid to sick kids and return to work with turbo-charged versions of the same illness.

Keep reading...
US of America News

When You See What These Kids Are Jumping In, Your Jaw Will Drop! Tabs For Friday, Feb. 28, 2020

We'll take a tab at this.

Yr Editrix will be back (to work, not from her friend's beach house in Mexico) Monday, but for now you get guest tabs again. And don't expect any recipes either, because Yr Dok Zoom is a philistine when it comes to food. And most other things!

Keep reading...
polls

What Does Your Hannity-Obsessed Uncle Fear More Than Death? Bernie, Socialism, Liz Warren, Sharks, Stairs ...

HAVE SOME POLL PORN!

Here is a fun poll porn survey experiment for you to look at, as you are carefully thinking about how you will vote in the Democratic primary, assuming you have not already voted nine times like most liberals.

We know, going into the 2020 election, that based on the results of the 2018 midterms, people's voting habits are motivated more and more by what pollster and all-around data badass Rachel Bitecofer calls "negative partisanship," i.e. the idea that people are much more motivated to vote against those they oppose, and that the team that's most pissed off and ready to go wins the election. Bitecofer, who almost exactly predicted the results of the 2018 midterms, is fighting against the "Chuck Todd theory of American politics," which makes supposed "swing voters" objects of worship and veneration, as if there's really a giant portion of the population that just vacillates back and forth between the parties like a bunch of idiots. Bitecofer argues that while these folks exist, they're not the dominant part of the equation, not in American politics in 2020.

SeniorLiving.org is out with a new poll Wonkette is exclusively reporting on first, MUST CREDIT WONKETTE! It examines something we think probably goes hand-in-hand with Bitecofer's model, asking a very interesting question of Americans: What do you fear more than death? In other words, what would you rather DIE than have happen? The results are illuminating!

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coronavirus

Mike Pence Will Edit All CDC Coronavirus Messages For Mentions Of Science, Truth, Boobies

No more of this 'disruption to everyday life' crap.

In a move that no one could have seen coming, one of the White House's first jobs for Mike Pence after making him Donald Trump's coronavirus czar was to tell the federal bureaucracy that "all statements and public appearances" concerning about the epidemic will have to be cleared through Pence first. The New York Times reports the administration wants y'all to understand this is not an attempt to subordinate scientists to the administration's political agenda, heavens no, why would anyone think that?

Officials insist the goal is not to control the content of what subject-matter experts and other officials are saying, but to make sure their efforts are being coordinated, after days of confusion with various administration officials showing up on television.

Yes, we're sure this has more to do with Larry Kudlow declaring the virus was all bottled up (Mmmm, bottles!) than with silencing that terrible Deep State Scientist lady all of wingnuttia is mad at for trying to make Trump look bad. If there's one thing this administration worries about, it's having a consistent message at all times, not people saying inconveniently true things.

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