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Liveblogging 'Entertainment Tonight' Or The Democratic Debate Or Whatever Is On CBS Right Now

Oh hi, have you voted in your state in the Democratic Primary? WE DID. We live in a Super Tuesday state, and we ... are talking to you from the future! Or we have early voting.

Anyway, we voted for one of them (it was Tulsi) and we don't want to tell you it (Tulsi) but you get one clue (definitely Tulsi) and it is that it is a person you are going to see on your TV screen tonight, because they qualified for the Democratic debate in Charleston.

UH OH TRICKED YOU, guess it ain't Tulsi.

Let's liveblog!

And whaaaaaaat is this? CBS News actually decided to make a YOUTUBE LIVESTREAM of its debate, so you can watch it right here at Wonkette?

www.youtube.com

Let's go!

8:00: Oh shit, it's starting! Fuck! Gayle King is there! But not Oprah! Because Oprah doesn't even have a job at CBS!

8:04: First question: Bernie, you are a socialist or something. How is that better than a lliteral actual big pig racist dictator?

Bernie says "economy" is great for Michael Bloomberg over there with the billions of moneys.

Michael Bloomberg says Putin wants Trump and that's why Putin is supporting Bernie so Bernie will lose to Trump and Bernie like OH NO YOU DI'INT, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I WILL TELL VLADIMIR PUTIN HIS BUSINESS RIGHT NOW, FUCK PUTIN RIGHT IN HIS FACE.

Elizabeth Warren responds by saying Bernie is super great, but also Bernie sux and lemme tell you why I am better than Bernie, I HAVE A PLAN FOR HEALTHCARE, BERNIE'S MEDICARE FOR ALL IS A POST-IT!

8:08: PETE: Know what Russia wants? Chaos. Know what would be chaos? Bernie vs. Trump.

Tom Steyer cuts in to say ... meh, we don't fuckin' know, don't care.

Tom Steyer Actual Quote: "Donald Trump stinks!"

No, really.

Now Joe Biden is talking about the true meaning of "progressive" and the horrific Charleston shooting and using it to attack Bernie on guns.

Well, this debate has certainly begun!

8:11: Bernie like OH Y'ALL COMIN' FOR ME TONIGHT? Y'ALL COMIN' FOR ME TONIGHT? I WONDER THE FUCK WHY.

8:13: Pete like OH YOU WANNA LIE ABOUT ME, BERNIE? Well lemme tell you something about my "billionaire supporters," hello, I am Pette Buttigieg, and if you are worth billions, I am going to raise your taxes. Also please donate to my campaign, but just the legal amount please.

Then Joe Biden got a question but our dinner got delivered and we had to go outside and we probably didn't miss much and now we wish we were still outside because Michael Bloomberg is talking.

8:16: BLOOMBERG: Stop and frisk was bad, I did it bad.

GAYLE KING: Attack him, Pete.

PETE: Oh hi, look at how all of us up here are white, lemme tell you we have all fucked it up.

BLOOMBERG: I have heard of white privilege before!

AMY KLOBUCHAR: All y'all fuckin' racists, hold on, let me throw my salad comb upon you.

8:18: GAYLE KING: Elizabeth Warren, you should do that thing to Michael Bloomberg that you did in Vegas, it was the best.

WARREN: Murderrrrrrrrr tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! Hey y'all hear about that one time that Michael Bloomberg was funding my Republican opponent and I beat them shit out of them anyway?

Bloomberg says he has been doing job training for this job since 9/11. Which ... OK no.

8:21: WARREN: Oh, Michael Bloomberg is going to call my VERY GOOD COMMENTS a "sideshow"? Let us talk about sexism. Remember that time Michael Bloomberg told a pregnant employee to "kill it," and by that he meant 'bortion? I was a victim of pregnancy discrimination, but at least nobody ever said that to me!

Warren came to fight again!

8:25: NORAH O'DONNELL: Bernie, you got any math for all your big ice cream pony promises?

SANDERS: I CAN MATH THE REST OF THIS NIGHT!

O'DONNELL: We have two hours.

BIDEN: I want to talk for some of that.

KLOBUCHAR: Bernie ain't got no math.

8:27: TOM STEYER: My turn!

BERNIE: Not your turn!

PETE: Not your turn! We don't need two hours to do Bernie's math! My turn!

BERNIE: No my turn!

Wonder how Tulsi's imaginary debate with Hillary is going right now.

8:30: PETE: I can do Bernie's math, it is BERNIE + ELECTION = FOUR MORE YEARS OF DONALD TRUMP.

Pete is now talking about the importance of actually winning the Senate too, if ANYBODY up there wants to get anything done. It honestly sticks in our craw that he is pretty much the only one in the race who absolutely harps on that.

Joe Biden cuts in, because it is unfair that everybody else is an Interrupting Cow right now :(

8:32: Biden and Tom Steyer are fighting about Steyer's support for private prisons, and Steyer says he's fixed all his problems and Biden says Steyer is a TOMMY COME LATELY!

Also says Pete's thing about all the Democrats who took back the House would be cooler if they were supporting Pete for president, guess what they support JOE BIDEN.

Amy Klobuchar says it's time for peace, love, understanding, and for all the socialists on the stage to fuckin' SHUT YOUR TRAP!

8:35: Bloomberg says something about how deficits are THE PITS, and Bernie says hey Bloomberg, why don't you go take a bath with all your billionaire supporters in a golden bathtub, BILLIONAIRE!

8:42: Back from break. The next subject is GUNS, and Gayle King wants to know why anyone should think Joe Biden can do anything about guns. Biden says he can fix guns because he already fixed guns a whole buncha times. Anyway, he'd like to attack Bernie on guns some more, because maybe he forgot he already did that.

8:44: Oh good, Warren moves the conversation around to abolishing the filibuster, because ain't none of this shit gonna get done in the Senate unless we get over it and stop giving the NRA and the oil industry a veto. Joe Biden says DON'T MATTER, GONNA BEAT MITCH MCCONNELL TOO! Which ... there is no math that says Dems could win a filibuster-proof majority.

Anyway, Bernie gonna tell y'all about his bad votes and why they weren't actually that bad, and now EVERYYYYYYBODY IS INTERRUPTING AGAIN.

Michael Bloomberg is like actually this is my one good issue, let me talk about all my serious-ass work with Moms Demand Action and stuff like that.

Amy Klobuchar says this is why you have to have a midwesterner as president, because reasons, Amy Klobuchar says she wrote a bill to close the "boyfriend loophole," she wrote a bill to close the "Charleston loophole," Joe Biden says I WROTE THAT BILL! Amy K says NO YOU DIDN'T and anyway, in summary and inconclusion, Amy K says "Uncle Dick in the deer stand," the end.

Pete Buttigieg says, "a MIDWESTERNER in the White House, you say?????"

And on getting rid of the filibuster, Pete says "How you gonna get a Revolution if you don't even support a Rule Change?" (Bernie does not support abolishing the filibuster.)

YIKES, this debate. We cannot even keep up with their foofaraw and hullabaloo!

8:51: Tom Steyer is now yapping about congressional term limits. That is a thing we think HE is wrong about, unless you like having representatives who are bad at Congress because they're always #NewAtThis.

8:52: MODERATOR: Michael Bloomberg, you are in love with charter schools. Literally everybody up here thinks you are A Idiot for that. So we're just going to set them up to bone you right now.

BLOOMBERG: Charter schools are so great!

WARREN: I am going to have more fun getting rid of Betsy DeVos than I have beating Michael Bloomberg upon his face!

BERNIE: I am going to say my whole education platform right now.

PETE: My hubs is a teacher. I know what teachers like. I know what teachers want. I know what teachers like. Teachers like.

Teachers like me.

8:57: Question about housing! Amy Klobuchar says houses are good, and lots of stuff about houses are good. Elizabeth Warren cuts in (TO JOE BIDEN'S CHAGRIN) to say you have to talk about race if you're going to talk about housing, because have you heard Michael Bloomberg loooooooooooves redlining?

Warren seems to have decided she really doesn't care about beating the shit out of anybody besides Bloomberg.

8:59: Was that an attempt at Bloomberg trying to make a joke about how he did so good at the debate last week he's surprised the other "contestants" even showed up tonight, because he was so great?

OK.

Anyway, Bloomberg did some gay marriage in New York also, he would like you to know!

9:00: Joe Biden just said "homeboners" when he was trying to say "homeowners."

9:01: BIDEN: If everybody else is going to be Interrupting Cow, I am going to MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

9:03: MODERATOR: Amy Klobuchar, how will you get people healthcare if they live in Bumfuck where there is not a hospital?

KLOBUCHAR: Something about incentives and immigration reform and "one size does not fit all," and golly, these candidates finally seem to have settled down for a second.

Buttigieg giving his very normal and nice answer now, just like Klobuchar did.

WHO WANTS TO BE NICE NEXT?

Bernie says he did a really good thing with South Carolina's Own Jim Clyburn! in the ACA on community health centers, and Pete tried to cut in and Gayle King was like nah, wanna ask Bloomberg about trans fats and soda pop.

9:09: MODERATOR: Amy Klobuchar, Bernie wants to legalize pot weeds. Are you cool like him, or are you a cop?

KLOBS: Yeah I'm down.

9:11: GAYLE KING: I know who's a fuckin' nerd about this. Michael Bloomberg, what say you!

BLOOMBERG: We don't even know the science about pot weeds!

SANDERS: Laaaaaaaaaaaaame.

9:20: WARREN: How about some actual foreign policy, not fellating dictators?

BLOOMBERG: 911! 911! 911!

BUTTIGIEG: I'm a veteran, have I mentioned? But seriously, Donald Trump hates the military!

Oh hai! First mention of coronavirus?

9:25: KLOBUCHAR: Hey, America! You get that this coronavirus thing is FOR SERIOUS? And Trump ain't do shit about it?

BIDEN: Remember Ebola? I protected you from Ebola like a double-layer jimmie!

9:29: So we missed a few things because our computer made a weird, but we don't think we missed much besides people actually saying smart things about coronavirus unlike the dumbshit "stable genius" in the Oval Office. Also Joe Biden would like you to know that back in HIS day, people respected the time limits in debates!

Now Warren attacking Bloomberg for not releasing his taxes yet, and she's going to keep attacking for it until he does it.

8:33: Oh yeah, Michael Bloomberg said some really nice things about how the Chinese dictator isn't really a dictator, which led the moderator to ask Bernie why he loves commie dictators so much, and he is like ALL I SAID ABOUT CUBA IS THE SAME THING BARACK OBAMA SAID and I DON'T LOVE DICTATORS, YOU LOVE DICTATORS, and now Joe Biden is saying Barack Obama did not say the thing Bernie says Obama said, and Bernie says AUTHORITARIANS ARE BAD and this is what we are arguing about now.

Joe MAD.

Pete says all y'all fuckers idiots and now Pete and Bernie are talking over each other and nothing is being accomplished.

Amy Klobuchar would like to say she wrote the bill on Cuba and now she has the talking stick.'

9:38: MODERATOR: Joe Biden, will you beat the shit out of Russia for attacking our elections in 2016 and also right now?

BIDEN: YELL AT RUSSIA WHOLE BUNCHA TIMES! ALSO YELL AT TOM STEYER FOR SAYIN' SOMETHIN' DUMB!

STEYER: Where's the commander-in-chief? Up Russia's butt is where!

We guess nobody else gets to talk about this subject, because next question is why Bernie, who would be the first Jewish president, is so mean to AIPAC and would he move the US embassy back to Tel Aviv. Bernie says he would "take that into consideration" and says Bibi Netanyahu is a piece of shit and you can support Israel but not support Netanyahu and you can support Israel and also support Palestinians.

All of this is correct.

Bloomberg says nope, he's not moving the embassy back.

9:47: Long conversation about North Korea, and we kinda just sat back and watched it, but then it got funny when Joe Biden was YELLING ABOUT IT and then stopped when his time ran out, then was like "Wait, why did I just stop? Nobody else up here does," and people laughed.

Now a question from Twitter for Pete about the humanitarian crisis in Idlib, Syria, where people are being massacred, and what would you do to push back the Russians, etc. Pete answers is ably, then pivots to talking about why he thinks Bernie's Medicare For All plan sux, which is a strange pivot, but OK, sure, fine, you wanted to say that thing, Pete.

Moderator is like your turn, Elizabeth Warren! No, not the Medicare For All question, you gotta answer the Pete question, healthcare was like three hours ago.

Anyway, break! This shit is almost over, we think! Remember that if you love Wonkette's liveblogs, we are 100 percent funded by YOU, because no ads and no Michael Bloomberg moneys. Also liveblogs cost $100,000 to create, per hour. (Might need to check our math.)

Point is, please hit the buttons below to give us money.

9:55: And now they are back for final segment! The candidates are supposed to say 1) the biggest misconception about them and 2) what is your personal motto?

STEYER: Biggest misconception: I'M NOT JUST ABOUT BEING A BILLIONAIRE! Motto: Do the right thing. I write it on my hand!

KLOBS: Misconception: I AM NOT BORING! Motto: I copied it from Paul Wellstone!

9:57: BIDEN: Just gives a bunch of mottos, has to be reminded to do a misconception. Says he's gonna put a black woman on the Supreme Court, that is his motto. Also his mom had a motto. MISCONCEPTION: He "has more hair than he thinks he does."

SANDERS: Misconception: That his ideas are radical! Motto: It is a Nelson Mandela thing about everything being impossible until it happens.

WARREN: Misconception: Everybody thinks I don't eat! Motto: From Matthew 25, the verse about whatever you've done for the least of these, you've done for me. HAHA PETE, SHE BIBLED BEFORE YOU COULD!

PETE: Misconception: People don't think I'm passionate enough! Motto: MORE BIBLE VERSES THAN WARREN HAS.

BLOOMBERG: Misconception: That he is six feet tall. He isn't! Motto: Something he just made up on the spot, who even knows.

Good debate, everyone! It is over! Just kidding, it is not! They are going to ... go to break now? Even though it's supposed to be over?

Back in Joe Biden's day, debates ended ON TIME.

10:05: LOL OK, they went to commercial just to make some quick ad money so they could come back and say goodbye.

THE FUCKING END.

VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO.

GOOD NIGHT.

Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE, DO IT RIGHT HERE!

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Donald Trump Thinks He Is 'America.' If That Doesn't Horrify You, You Aren't Paying Enough Attention.

Allow us to highlight a thing King Trump said to reporters in India, when he wasn't busy shit-tweeting Supreme Court justices for failing to lick his butt the way he likes. He was asked about the purge happening back in Washington DC, the little rampage he's been on ever since he was falsely "acquitted" in the Senate impeachment trial, in which he's summarily eliminating all employees he and his devotees believe aren't sufficiently loyal to him.

TRUMP: I think we had a whistleblower who was a fake, because if you look at the whistleblower as an example, if you look at his report, and then you compare that to the transcripts, it bore no relationship, so that was a very sad situation, and a lot of time, a lot of time wasted ...

They were the exact same, you fucking liar. (Here is the Whistleblower Report. Here is the READ THE TREAJS;DKJATIP!)

TRUMP: We want to have people who are good for the country, who are loyal to our country, because that was a disgraceful situation.

Would that he were actually firing people who were truly disloyal to the country, but LOL no. (Though we should note that we've tried that before as a nation and it didn't go real well.)

He thinks he is the state. Got that? Donald Trump thinks he is the state. He thinks America and himself are one and the same.

Keep reading...

How Much Sh*tshow Is Bill Barr's Justice Department Right Now? This Much Sh*tshow.

Before we forget, we wanted to highlight some great reporting from Katie Benner and Adam Goldman at the New York Times on what's really been going on in the Justice Department and the DC US attorney's office, which has been handling (or not handling) cases involving a lot of the crimes committed in service of Donald Trump. It provides some important context to Trump's ongoing attacks on the Roger Stone judge and jury and prosecutors, who have obviously all been colluding with reality to convict yet another Trump buddy of so many fucking crimes. It also gives some more background to the ouster of former DC US Attorney Jessie Liu, a Trump appointee, because while she was willing to do a lot in service of Trump, she apparently didn't kiss the ring enough.

Liz wrote for you yesterday on the shadow campaign to get Liu fired, led by Senate Judiciary Committee staffer/idiot Barbara Ledeen, as part of Clarence Thomas's wife Ginni Thomas's Trump witch hunt campaign to purge everyone deemed insufficiently loyal to Dear Leader. (Trump, by the way, told reporters today in India that his enemies list purge is a good thing for "America," because of how that stupid fascist motherfucker thinks he is literally "America.")

Liu had committed some sins, you see, like refusing to LOCK HER UP Brett Kavanaugh's accusers, and not indicting former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe, and signing sentencing recommendations for Michael Flynn that featured prison, just because he committed crimes. It's not that she didn't try, especially with McCabe. It's just that these Deep State grand juries kept coming back and saying, hello, your "case" is bullshit. As Liz wrote, Liu's greatest sin seems to be that she was unwilling to literally invent charges against McCabe and others who made the president's butt itch and hurt his feelings.

But did we mention she TRIED? She TRIED:

Keep reading...

Trump Administration Totally On Top Of Coronavirus Thing, Will Ask Twitter If They Have Any More Questions

Stock markets have been dropping due to fears that the Covid-19 coronavirus could become a global pandemic, so Donald Trump took a little time away from hugging a fellow authoritarian leader in India yesterday to reassure a worried nation that everything's perfectly all right. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

Just to reinforce Trump's insistence that all is well, (acting) Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Ken Cuccinelli, AKA perennial Wonkette favorite Saint Cooch Nobortions, a member of Trump's coronavirus task force -- really -- took to Twitter to ask why he couldn't see a non-governmental website about the outbreak.

See? Everything's just fine! TOP MEN.

Keep reading...
2020 democratic primary

Chris Matthews Thinks Mike Bloomberg Too Busy Chopping Down Cherry Trees To Lie About Mistreating Women

Why is Chris Matthews still on our TV?

Political pundits might've forgotten Elizabeth Warren is running for president, but she still showed up at last night's Democratic debate in South Carolina. That wasn't good news for Mike Bloomberg. During the throwdown in Charleston, Warren mentioned how she'd lost a teaching job almost 50 years ago because she was pregnant. She tied this injustice to her favorite new punching bag.

WARREN: At least I didn't have a boss who said to me, "Kill it," the way that Mayor Bloomberg alleged to have said to one of his pregnant employees.

Bloomberg denied on national television having ever said this, which might've been a trap Warren set for him.

The Massachusetts senator later sat down for a migraine-inducing, post-debate interview on MSNBC with Chris Matthews, who was shocked Warren would believe a "former New York City mayor" would say something so dehumanizing and misogynistic. Warren reiterated that she believed the woman who stated as much under oath.

Keep reading...
2020 Congressional Elections

Steve Bullock, Get Over Yourself And Run For The Damn Senate!

How many times are you gonna make Chuck Schumer beg?

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is desperate to flip the Senate. Unfortunately, he's had trouble convincing Democrats in some key states to join this noble cause. Stacey Abrams wasn't interested in challenging David Perdue in Georgia, despite having equal favorability. Beto O'Rourke has declined to run against John Cornyn in Texas. But Schumer still hopes Montana Governor Steve Bullock will come to his senses and help save the nation. Bullock, a former presidential candidate, has insisted that the Senate isn't for him. Still, the filing deadline is two weeks away. Maybe Bullock will do the right thing like a common John Hickenlooper.

Schumer met with Bullock in Montana last weekend. We don't know the extent of Schumer's begging or whether it had any effect on Bullock, who we assume doesn't enjoy seeing grown men cry. You'd think convincing people to run for Senate would be the easiest part of Schumer's job, but it's like he's out there selling vacuum cleaners. The Democrats who've turned their noses up at the Senate claim that it's just not a place you go if you're interested in accomplishing anything useful. O'Rourke even called out Schumer by name when he was running for president, and that name was feckless Chuck.

BETO: Ask Chuck Schumer what he's been able to get done ... We still don't have [universal] background checks. Didn't have them when he was in the majority, either. So, you know, the game that he's played, the politics that he's pursued have given us absolutely nothing and have produced a situation where we lose nearly 40,000 of our fellow Americans every year..
Keep reading...
Legal

Roger Stone's Genius Lawyers Pretty Sure Scary Black Lady Tricked Them Into Botching Jury Selection

Go to jail, asshole!

What did Judge Amy Berman Jackson ever do to deserve Roger Stone and his endless antics? After dropping Stone's motion for judicial recusal in the courthouse dumpster where it belongs, Her Honor was subjected to a four-hour hearing on his motion for a new trial Because of Mean Black Lady Juror. It was RIDICULOUS.

What is not ridiculous, though, and not even a little bit funny, is Trump's brazen attacks on the jury foreperson and Judge Jackson during this trial. It is frankly terrifying that the president of the United States is putting a target on the back of a private citizen who did her civic duty as an independent jurist.

You will be shocked, shocked to find that he was sending these tweets during the hearing yesterday. And also that Bill Barr failed to resign in protest.

Keep reading...
State/Local Politics

No Lawmakin' Today, Oregon Republicans Are HIDING! Yes, Again.

Reruns from last summer already?

Monday, faced with a bill that would cap and trade carbon emissions in the state, all but one of the dozen Republicans in the Oregon state Senate skipped out of the state to prevent a vote, bringing this year's legislative session to a dead stop. It's a repeat of a tactic the Senate GOP pulled twice last year to deny a quorum for a vote. Yesterday, for shits and giggles, the Republicans in the state House skipped out too. Democrats hold supermajorities in both houses, but for a quorum, the rules require two thirds of members to be present. The Dems are just short of that, needing two Republicans in each house to show up to get anything done.

So far, there haven't been any armed militia loons insisting they want to help "protect" the wayward lawmakers. It's early, yet; no telling whether any of the missing Republicans are itching for an armed standoff for the sake of precious, precious fossil fuels.

Senate President Peter Courtney, a Democrat, hasn't yet asked Gov. Kate Brown to send the state police out to round up the missing Republicans, which was what prompted last June's threats from militia groups to shoot some cops in defense of absenteeism. Without a request from the Senate, the governor can't sic the cops on the AWOL senators. Not that it did any good -- the Rs all headed to Washington and Idaho anyway, as they probably have this year too.

Here's the exciting non-action from the Senate's roll call Monday.

Courtney says he's been talking daily with the Senate Republican leader, Herman Baertschiger Jr., and that Baertschiger "did leave the door open that maybe they'd come back," although it's possible the Rs will only return if the Senate agrees to put the cap and trade bill to voters as a referendum, which would give big industrial interests the chance to spend it to death.

Keep reading...
News

Make Your Perfect Avocado Toast And We'll Sort You Into A Hogwarts House! Tabs, Wed., Feb. 26, 2020

Hello! It's still Rebecca's birthday week and so here I am to do tabs instead! I am gonna try to not be super depressing! But, well, *gestures at everything.*

Last night was the 80 millionth Democratic debate! You can check out our live blog here!

Here's a particularly frustrating Am I The Asshole?, in which a parent wanted to know if they were the asshole for wanting to be reimbursed for the $650 Epipen her child had that had to be used on another child (whose own Epipen was expired). Clearly, once again, America is the asshole.

Former Congressman Joe Walsh, long a reliable font of batshittery, wrote a very reasonable op-ed for the Washington Post about how when he says he's a Never Trumper, he means it, and will vote for Bernie Sanders if he is the nominee.

Utah is terrible, wants to charge people for the ultrasounds they are forcing them to get before they are allowed to get an abortion. An ultrasound at a hospital can cost anywhere from $200 to $1000, because our medical costs are ridiculous and based on nothing.

But on the bright side of the abortion street, two anti-choice bills — one of which would have banned abortion after 20 weeks, didn't even get enough votes from the US Senate's Republican majority to go forward.

On that same front, the ACLU is suing seven towns in Texas for banning abortion. The towns are not being sued for preciously declaring themselves "sanctuary cities for the unborn," but they should be.

Look at this nice veterinarian who goes around California treating homeless people's animals for free!

Two cheetah cubs have been born to a surrogate cheetah mother for the first time!

Singer Duffy revealed in an Instagram post that the heartbreaking reason why she hasn't been around for ten years is because she was kidnapped, drugged, raped and held captive for several days and just never felt like singing or doing anything after that. Ugh.

"You wonder why I did not choose to use my voice to express my pain? I did not want to show the world the sadness in my eyes. I asked myself, 'How can I sing from the heart if it is broken?' And slowly it unbroke,"

youtu.be


A woman in with a bullet in her head was sent home from a hospital in Miami, Florida, with a bandaid and some antibiotics. YIKES.

Mayor of Florence, Italy Dario Nardella, is suggesting that residents should hug Chinese people in order to "encourage them" in the fight against coronavirus. We do have our ways.

Wondering what Bernie was talking about last night with regards to America's support of dictators around the world? Wonder no more! Here is a ginormous Twitter thread I did on the subject of that, the School of Americas and the IMF/World Bank! It'll be just like going to a socialist potluck in the late 90s/early 2000s, but without the guy who is obviously way too old for you explaining his plan to redistribute the wealth of the nation and also the "understanding" he has with his wife.

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2020 democratic primary

Liveblogging 'Entertainment Tonight' Or The Democratic Debate Or Whatever Is On CBS Right Now

Our TV is definitely showing 'Entertainment Tonight.' Would rather watch 'Wheel' TBH.

Oh hi, have you voted in your state in the Democratic Primary? WE DID. We live in a Super Tuesday state, and we ... are talking to you from the future! Or we have early voting.

Anyway, we voted for one of them (it was Tulsi) and we don't want to tell you it (Tulsi) but you get one clue (definitely Tulsi) and it is that it is a person you are going to see on your TV screen tonight, because they qualified for the Democratic debate in Charleston.

UH OH TRICKED YOU, guess it ain't Tulsi.

Let's liveblog!

And whaaaaaaat is this? CBS News actually decided to make a YOUTUBE LIVESTREAM of its debate, so you can watch it right here at Wonkette?

www.youtube.com

Let's go!

8:00: Oh shit, it's starting! Fuck! Gayle King is there! But not Oprah! Because Oprah doesn't even have a job at CBS!

8:04: First question: Bernie, you are a socialist or something. How is that better than a lliteral actual big pig racist dictator?

Bernie says "economy" is great for Michael Bloomberg over there with the billions of moneys.

Michael Bloomberg says Putin wants Trump and that's why Putin is supporting Bernie so Bernie will lose to Trump and Bernie like OH NO YOU DI'INT, LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I WILL TELL VLADIMIR PUTIN HIS BUSINESS RIGHT NOW, FUCK PUTIN RIGHT IN HIS FACE.

Elizabeth Warren responds by saying Bernie is super great, but also Bernie sux and lemme tell you why I am better than Bernie, I HAVE A PLAN FOR HEALTHCARE, BERNIE'S MEDICARE FOR ALL IS A POST-IT!

8:08: PETE: Know what Russia wants? Chaos. Know what would be chaos? Bernie vs. Trump.

Tom Steyer cuts in to say ... meh, we don't fuckin' know, don't care.

Tom Steyer Actual Quote: "Donald Trump stinks!"

No, really.

Now Joe Biden is talking about the true meaning of "progressive" and the horrific Charleston shooting and using it to attack Bernie on guns.

Well, this debate has certainly begun!

8:11: Bernie like OH Y'ALL COMIN' FOR ME TONIGHT? Y'ALL COMIN' FOR ME TONIGHT? I WONDER THE FUCK WHY.

8:13: Pete like OH YOU WANNA LIE ABOUT ME, BERNIE? Well lemme tell you something about my "billionaire supporters," hello, I am Pette Buttigieg, and if you are worth billions, I am going to raise your taxes. Also please donate to my campaign, but just the legal amount please.

Then Joe Biden got a question but our dinner got delivered and we had to go outside and we probably didn't miss much and now we wish we were still outside because Michael Bloomberg is talking.

8:16: BLOOMBERG: Stop and frisk was bad, I did it bad.

GAYLE KING: Attack him, Pete.

PETE: Oh hi, look at how all of us up here are white, lemme tell you we have all fucked it up.

BLOOMBERG: I have heard of white privilege before!

AMY KLOBUCHAR: All y'all fuckin' racists, hold on, let me throw my salad comb upon you.

8:18: GAYLE KING: Elizabeth Warren, you should do that thing to Michael Bloomberg that you did in Vegas, it was the best.

WARREN: Murderrrrrrrrr tiiiiiiiiiiiiiime! Hey y'all hear about that one time that Michael Bloomberg was funding my Republican opponent and I beat them shit out of them anyway?

Bloomberg says he has been doing job training for this job since 9/11. Which ... OK no.

8:21: WARREN: Oh, Michael Bloomberg is going to call my VERY GOOD COMMENTS a "sideshow"? Let us talk about sexism. Remember that time Michael Bloomberg told a pregnant employee to "kill it," and by that he meant 'bortion? I was a victim of pregnancy discrimination, but at least nobody ever said that to me!

Warren came to fight again!

8:25: NORAH O'DONNELL: Bernie, you got any math for all your big ice cream pony promises?

SANDERS: I CAN MATH THE REST OF THIS NIGHT!

O'DONNELL: We have two hours.

BIDEN: I want to talk for some of that.

KLOBUCHAR: Bernie ain't got no math.

8:27: TOM STEYER: My turn!

BERNIE: Not your turn!

PETE: Not your turn! We don't need two hours to do Bernie's math! My turn!

BERNIE: No my turn!

Wonder how Tulsi's imaginary debate with Hillary is going right now.

8:30: PETE: I can do Bernie's math, it is BERNIE + ELECTION = FOUR MORE YEARS OF DONALD TRUMP.

Pete is now talking about the importance of actually winning the Senate too, if ANYBODY up there wants to get anything done. It honestly sticks in our craw that he is pretty much the only one in the race who absolutely harps on that.

Joe Biden cuts in, because it is unfair that everybody else is an Interrupting Cow right now :(

8:32: Biden and Tom Steyer are fighting about Steyer's support for private prisons, and Steyer says he's fixed all his problems and Biden says Steyer is a TOMMY COME LATELY!

Also says Pete's thing about all the Democrats who took back the House would be cooler if they were supporting Pete for president, guess what they support JOE BIDEN.

Amy Klobuchar says it's time for peace, love, understanding, and for all the socialists on the stage to fuckin' SHUT YOUR TRAP!

8:35: Bloomberg says something about how deficits are THE PITS, and Bernie says hey Bloomberg, why don't you go take a bath with all your billionaire supporters in a golden bathtub, BILLIONAIRE!

8:42: Back from break. The next subject is GUNS, and Gayle King wants to know why anyone should think Joe Biden can do anything about guns. Biden says he can fix guns because he already fixed guns a whole buncha times. Anyway, he'd like to attack Bernie on guns some more, because maybe he forgot he already did that.

8:44: Oh good, Warren moves the conversation around to abolishing the filibuster, because ain't none of this shit gonna get done in the Senate unless we get over it and stop giving the NRA and the oil industry a veto. Joe Biden says DON'T MATTER, GONNA BEAT MITCH MCCONNELL TOO! Which ... there is no math that says Dems could win a filibuster-proof majority.

Anyway, Bernie gonna tell y'all about his bad votes and why they weren't actually that bad, and now EVERYYYYYYBODY IS INTERRUPTING AGAIN.

Michael Bloomberg is like actually this is my one good issue, let me talk about all my serious-ass work with Moms Demand Action and stuff like that.

Amy Klobuchar says this is why you have to have a midwesterner as president, because reasons, Amy Klobuchar says she wrote a bill to close the "boyfriend loophole," she wrote a bill to close the "Charleston loophole," Joe Biden says I WROTE THAT BILL! Amy K says NO YOU DIDN'T and anyway, in summary and inconclusion, Amy K says "Uncle Dick in the deer stand," the end.

Pete Buttigieg says, "a MIDWESTERNER in the White House, you say?????"

And on getting rid of the filibuster, Pete says "How you gonna get a Revolution if you don't even support a Rule Change?" (Bernie does not support abolishing the filibuster.)

YIKES, this debate. We cannot even keep up with their foofaraw and hullabaloo!

8:51: Tom Steyer is now yapping about congressional term limits. That is a thing we think HE is wrong about, unless you like having representatives who are bad at Congress because they're always #NewAtThis.

8:52: MODERATOR: Michael Bloomberg, you are in love with charter schools. Literally everybody up here thinks you are A Idiot for that. So we're just going to set them up to bone you right now.

BLOOMBERG: Charter schools are so great!

WARREN: I am going to have more fun getting rid of Betsy DeVos than I have beating Michael Bloomberg upon his face!

BERNIE: I am going to say my whole education platform right now.

PETE: My hubs is a teacher. I know what teachers like. I know what teachers want. I know what teachers like. Teachers like.

Teachers like me.

8:57: Question about housing! Amy Klobuchar says houses are good, and lots of stuff about houses are good. Elizabeth Warren cuts in (TO JOE BIDEN'S CHAGRIN) to say you have to talk about race if you're going to talk about housing, because have you heard Michael Bloomberg loooooooooooves redlining?

Warren seems to have decided she really doesn't care about beating the shit out of anybody besides Bloomberg.

8:59: Was that an attempt at Bloomberg trying to make a joke about how he did so good at the debate last week he's surprised the other "contestants" even showed up tonight, because he was so great?

OK.

Anyway, Bloomberg did some gay marriage in New York also, he would like you to know!

9:00: Joe Biden just said "homeboners" when he was trying to say "homeowners."

9:01: BIDEN: If everybody else is going to be Interrupting Cow, I am going to MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

9:03: MODERATOR: Amy Klobuchar, how will you get people healthcare if they live in Bumfuck where there is not a hospital?

KLOBUCHAR: Something about incentives and immigration reform and "one size does not fit all," and golly, these candidates finally seem to have settled down for a second.

Buttigieg giving his very normal and nice answer now, just like Klobuchar did.

WHO WANTS TO BE NICE NEXT?

Bernie says he did a really good thing with South Carolina's Own Jim Clyburn! in the ACA on community health centers, and Pete tried to cut in and Gayle King was like nah, wanna ask Bloomberg about trans fats and soda pop.

9:09: MODERATOR: Amy Klobuchar, Bernie wants to legalize pot weeds. Are you cool like him, or are you a cop?

KLOBS: Yeah I'm down.

9:11: GAYLE KING: I know who's a fuckin' nerd about this. Michael Bloomberg, what say you!

BLOOMBERG: We don't even know the science about pot weeds!

SANDERS: Laaaaaaaaaaaaame.

9:20: WARREN: How about some actual foreign policy, not fellating dictators?

BLOOMBERG: 911! 911! 911!

BUTTIGIEG: I'm a veteran, have I mentioned? But seriously, Donald Trump hates the military!

Oh hai! First mention of coronavirus?

9:25: KLOBUCHAR: Hey, America! You get that this coronavirus thing is FOR SERIOUS? And Trump ain't do shit about it?

BIDEN: Remember Ebola? I protected you from Ebola like a double-layer jimmie!

9:29: So we missed a few things because our computer made a weird, but we don't think we missed much besides people actually saying smart things about coronavirus unlike the dumbshit "stable genius" in the Oval Office. Also Joe Biden would like you to know that back in HIS day, people respected the time limits in debates!

Now Warren attacking Bloomberg for not releasing his taxes yet, and she's going to keep attacking for it until he does it.

8:33: Oh yeah, Michael Bloomberg said some really nice things about how the Chinese dictator isn't really a dictator, which led the moderator to ask Bernie why he loves commie dictators so much, and he is like ALL I SAID ABOUT CUBA IS THE SAME THING BARACK OBAMA SAID and I DON'T LOVE DICTATORS, YOU LOVE DICTATORS, and now Joe Biden is saying Barack Obama did not say the thing Bernie says Obama said, and Bernie says AUTHORITARIANS ARE BAD and this is what we are arguing about now.

Joe MAD.

Pete says all y'all fuckers idiots and now Pete and Bernie are talking over each other and nothing is being accomplished.

Amy Klobuchar would like to say she wrote the bill on Cuba and now she has the talking stick.'

9:38: MODERATOR: Joe Biden, will you beat the shit out of Russia for attacking our elections in 2016 and also right now?

BIDEN: YELL AT RUSSIA WHOLE BUNCHA TIMES! ALSO YELL AT TOM STEYER FOR SAYIN' SOMETHIN' DUMB!

STEYER: Where's the commander-in-chief? Up Russia's butt is where!

We guess nobody else gets to talk about this subject, because next question is why Bernie, who would be the first Jewish president, is so mean to AIPAC and would he move the US embassy back to Tel Aviv. Bernie says he would "take that into consideration" and says Bibi Netanyahu is a piece of shit and you can support Israel but not support Netanyahu and you can support Israel and also support Palestinians.

All of this is correct.

Bloomberg says nope, he's not moving the embassy back.

9:47: Long conversation about North Korea, and we kinda just sat back and watched it, but then it got funny when Joe Biden was YELLING ABOUT IT and then stopped when his time ran out, then was like "Wait, why did I just stop? Nobody else up here does," and people laughed.

Now a question from Twitter for Pete about the humanitarian crisis in Idlib, Syria, where people are being massacred, and what would you do to push back the Russians, etc. Pete answers is ably, then pivots to talking about why he thinks Bernie's Medicare For All plan sux, which is a strange pivot, but OK, sure, fine, you wanted to say that thing, Pete.

Moderator is like your turn, Elizabeth Warren! No, not the Medicare For All question, you gotta answer the Pete question, healthcare was like three hours ago.

Anyway, break! This shit is almost over, we think! Remember that if you love Wonkette's liveblogs, we are 100 percent funded by YOU, because no ads and no Michael Bloomberg moneys. Also liveblogs cost $100,000 to create, per hour. (Might need to check our math.)

Point is, please hit the buttons below to give us money.

9:55: And now they are back for final segment! The candidates are supposed to say 1) the biggest misconception about them and 2) what is your personal motto?

STEYER: Biggest misconception: I'M NOT JUST ABOUT BEING A BILLIONAIRE! Motto: Do the right thing. I write it on my hand!

KLOBS: Misconception: I AM NOT BORING! Motto: I copied it from Paul Wellstone!

9:57: BIDEN: Just gives a bunch of mottos, has to be reminded to do a misconception. Says he's gonna put a black woman on the Supreme Court, that is his motto. Also his mom had a motto. MISCONCEPTION: He "has more hair than he thinks he does."

SANDERS: Misconception: That his ideas are radical! Motto: It is a Nelson Mandela thing about everything being impossible until it happens.

WARREN: Misconception: Everybody thinks I don't eat! Motto: From Matthew 25, the verse about whatever you've done for the least of these, you've done for me. HAHA PETE, SHE BIBLED BEFORE YOU COULD!

PETE: Misconception: People don't think I'm passionate enough! Motto: MORE BIBLE VERSES THAN WARREN HAS.

BLOOMBERG: Misconception: That he is six feet tall. He isn't! Motto: Something he just made up on the spot, who even knows.

Good debate, everyone! It is over! Just kidding, it is not! They are going to ... go to break now? Even though it's supposed to be over?

Back in Joe Biden's day, debates ended ON TIME.

10:05: LOL OK, they went to commercial just to make some quick ad money so they could come back and say goodbye.

THE FUCKING END.

VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO.

GOOD NIGHT.

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2020 democratic primary

The Stage Is Getting Bigger Again, Oh F*ck! Your Charleston Democratic Debate Preview!

Last stop before Super Tuesday!

Here we go again! Wait, didn't we just do this five minutes ago? Yes, we did! And we are doing it again!

Tonight there is a Democratic debate in Charleston, South Carolina, and it starts at 8:00 p.m Eastern. And Wonkette will be liveblogging it! It happens in advance of the South Carolina primary this weekend, and also in advance of Super Tuesday, which is one week from today, the day upon which MANY STATES cast their votes.

The questions on everybody's minds right now are whether Bernie Sanders will continue his winning streak this weekend, or whether somebody will stop him, or a couple of somebodies will stop him. Will Joe Biden emerge like phoenix in South Carolina and start running away with it? Will Michael Bloomberg snatch Joe Biden's wig on Super Tuesday? Or somebody else? We do not know. If your main voting motivation right now is to stop somebody, then now is the time to stop them, though, because in a few weeks it will be too late to stop them, unless it isn't, in which case you can still stop them.

And THAT is the kind of political analysis and forecasting you come to Wonkette for!

Keep reading...
Class War

Hot Pocket Heiress Gonna Eat All The Hot Pockets, IN JAIL

Orange is the new 'Hot Pockets'

Michelle Janavs is the heiress to the vast Hot Pockets fortune — a fortune she owes almost entirely to broke college students — and she is set to appear today for sentencing in a Boston federal court for having paid California college admissions consultant William "Rick" Singer to create fraudulent college applications and ACT test scores in order to give her daughter an unfair advantage in getting into college.

Lady Hotpockets is one of 53 people, including Felicity Huffman of "Desperate Housewives" and Lori "Aunt Becky" Loughlin, to participate in the scheme.

Instead of having her daughters take ACT tests like everyone else has to, Janavs paid Singer $100,000 to have his associate take the test for them. They also say she gave Singer another $200,000 to be used to bribe an official at the University of Southern California to pretend that one of her daughters was being recruited to play beach volleyball for the school.

Keep reading...
Trump

Donald Trump Thinks He Is 'America.' If That Doesn't Horrify You, You Aren't Paying Enough Attention.

Trump said in India that his purge is fine because he's just eliminating people who are disloyal to OUR COUNTRY. By which he means himself.

Allow us to highlight a thing King Trump said to reporters in India, when he wasn't busy shit-tweeting Supreme Court justices for failing to lick his butt the way he likes. He was asked about the purge happening back in Washington DC, the little rampage he's been on ever since he was falsely "acquitted" in the Senate impeachment trial, in which he's summarily eliminating all employees he and his devotees believe aren't sufficiently loyal to him.

TRUMP: I think we had a whistleblower who was a fake, because if you look at the whistleblower as an example, if you look at his report, and then you compare that to the transcripts, it bore no relationship, so that was a very sad situation, and a lot of time, a lot of time wasted ...

They were the exact same, you fucking liar. (Here is the Whistleblower Report. Here is the READ THE TREAJS;DKJATIP!)

TRUMP: We want to have people who are good for the country, who are loyal to our country, because that was a disgraceful situation.

Would that he were actually firing people who were truly disloyal to the country, but LOL no. (Though we should note that we've tried that before as a nation and it didn't go real well.)

He thinks he is the state. Got that? Donald Trump thinks he is the state. He thinks America and himself are one and the same.

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Culture Wars

Coronavirus Causing Right-Wing PanDUMBic Of Epidemic Proportions, GET IT? GET IT? GET IT?

You probably don't get it, it's a very subtle joke.

As the Covid-19 coronavirus outbreak continues to spread around the world, public health experts are doing all they can to research and track the disease, inform people what they can do to reduce their risk of exposure, and to keep people from unduly panicking. But undue panic is also a very profitable business model, so yeah, we're getting a great big honkin' dose of that, too! Fortunately, panic never causes people to do stupid things, as we know from all the times no one has ever shot a family member they thought was a burglar.

Keep reading...
Class War

Trump's Bizarro CFPB Wants To Let Debt Collectors Hound You About Money You No Longer Owe

Don't answer any numbers you don't know.

One of the hallmarks of the Trump administration has been turning all of the agencies and bureaus meant to help and protect American citizens into bizarro versions that do the exact opposite of what they were intended to do. The Environmental Protection Agency's purpose now to help destroy the environment, the Secretary of Education is Betsy DeVos, a woman who wants all of our public schools to be replaced by for-profit charter schools, the Labor Department is now anti-labor and pro-management, and so on.

A particularly crushing example of this is what he's done to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which Elizabeth Warren fought so damn hard to establish. Not only does it no longer do what it was supposed to do at all, but in September, Trump and the new CFPB itself went to the Supreme Court and asked them to declare the bureau unconstitutional, claiming that it infringes on the president's executive authority. Arguments will be heard on that case on March 3rd, and strangely enough, Trump's own Department of Justice is asking the Court to rule against him.

For now, however, the Bizarro Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is trying to do everything it can to erode the rights of consumers in favor of corporations, banks and debt collectors. This week, it proposed a new rule that would allow debt collectors to call people about old bills that they technically no longer owe. Surely, this will be a very popular proposal, given how much people just love getting calls from debt collectors.

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justice department

How Much Sh*tshow Is Bill Barr's Justice Department Right Now? This Much Sh*tshow.

Scenes from inside the DC US attorney's office, where allllllllllll the shit's been going down.

Before we forget, we wanted to highlight some great reporting from Katie Benner and Adam Goldman at the New York Times on what's really been going on in the Justice Department and the DC US attorney's office, which has been handling (or not handling) cases involving a lot of the crimes committed in service of Donald Trump. It provides some important context to Trump's ongoing attacks on the Roger Stone judge and jury and prosecutors, who have obviously all been colluding with reality to convict yet another Trump buddy of so many fucking crimes. It also gives some more background to the ouster of former DC US Attorney Jessie Liu, a Trump appointee, because while she was willing to do a lot in service of Trump, she apparently didn't kiss the ring enough.

Liz wrote for you yesterday on the shadow campaign to get Liu fired, led by Senate Judiciary Committee staffer/idiot Barbara Ledeen, as part of Clarence Thomas's wife Ginni Thomas's Trump witch hunt campaign to purge everyone deemed insufficiently loyal to Dear Leader. (Trump, by the way, told reporters today in India that his enemies list purge is a good thing for "America," because of how that stupid fascist motherfucker thinks he is literally "America.")

Liu had committed some sins, you see, like refusing to LOCK HER UP Brett Kavanaugh's accusers, and not indicting former FBI deputy director Andrew McCabe, and signing sentencing recommendations for Michael Flynn that featured prison, just because he committed crimes. It's not that she didn't try, especially with McCabe. It's just that these Deep State grand juries kept coming back and saying, hello, your "case" is bullshit. As Liz wrote, Liu's greatest sin seems to be that she was unwilling to literally invent charges against McCabe and others who made the president's butt itch and hurt his feelings.

But did we mention she TRIED? She TRIED:

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White House

Trump Administration Totally On Top Of Coronavirus Thing, Will Ask Twitter If They Have Any More Questions

It's almost like government by tweet is a bad thing.

Stock markets have been dropping due to fears that the Covid-19 coronavirus could become a global pandemic, so Donald Trump took a little time away from hugging a fellow authoritarian leader in India yesterday to reassure a worried nation that everything's perfectly all right. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?

Just to reinforce Trump's insistence that all is well, (acting) Deputy Secretary of Homeland Security Ken Cuccinelli, AKA perennial Wonkette favorite Saint Cooch Nobortions, a member of Trump's coronavirus task force -- really -- took to Twitter to ask why he couldn't see a non-governmental website about the outbreak.

See? Everything's just fine! TOP MEN.

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Trump

Dear Leader Knows Who Is Illegitimate, And It Is Supreme Court Ladies Who Hurt His Feelings

Just another mile-marker on our uniquely American road to shithole authoritarianism.

Donald Trump is in India doing the important work of the American people, if by "important work" you mean whining at the liberal women justices of the Supreme Court on Twitter.

Really glad to know that even on his foreign travels, that loser still doesn't miss a minute of his beloved Fox News.

It appears white nationalist-friendly Fox News asshole Laura Ingraham was "reporting" on Justice Sonia Sotomayor's dissent in the Supreme Court's decision to lift a stay and allow Trump's latest fascist white nationalist immigration policy -- one that would impose a wealth test on people seeking green cards, because that's such a big part of Emma Lazarus's Statue of Liberty poem -- and Trump, as ever, was rage-watching his TV from atop his golden shitter.

And now he wants Sotomayor and also Ginsberg [sic because President WordStupid can't spell] to recuse from any case that begins with his name, because clearly if you don't give Trump his imaginary Article II right to do whatever he wants, you are being "unfair." In other words, on top of all elected Democrats and all the career people at the Justice Department, our orange crusty fascist shitlord now views the liberal justices on the Supreme Court as illegitimate. They are in the way of the crime and corruption and fascism he wants to commit, after all, like common Marie Yovanovitches!

Oh also one time Ruth Bader Ginsburg called him a name, and then said she was sorry, so ...

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Immigrants

Supreme Court Pretty Sure Tired, Poor, Huddled Masses Just A Bunch Of Mooches Anyway

It's not a final ruling, but the Supreme Court has lifted yet another stay letting yet another fascist Trump immigration policy go into effect. USA! USA! USA!

It's a day that ends in "y," so the Trump regime is screwing over immigrants again.

As of Monday, US immigration officers around the world will be using a person's wealth to determine whether they should be granted a visa or green card.

This was yet another fun indication from the Supreme Court that it has no problems with the racist-in-chief's penchant for fascism and destroying the lives of would-be immigrants.

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Feminininism

Idaho 'Pro-Life' Republican Casually Wonders Why No One Has Nuked Planned Parenthood

So pro-life!

The grand irony of "pro-lifers" in America, is that over the years, many of them have turned to killing and injuring people to spread their message that "killing" clumps of cells is wrong.

At a recent town hall in Hayden, Idaho, Rep. Vito Barbieri (R-Dalton Gardens), wondered out loud, in a room full of people, why no one had nuked the Planned Parenthood on State Street, in Boise. Apart from the fact that it is very unlikely that the Army of God has access to nuclear weapons.

Which, just for the record, is a thing we should probably all be very grateful for.

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