GOP: If Biden Won’t Let Violent Parents Threaten School Board Members, Is This Even America?

Republicans have lied for a few weeks now about how the Department of Justice, under the leadership of noted radical Attorney General Merrick Garland, is going to lock up parents who speak heresies at local school board meetings.

Senator Rick Scott from Florida tweeted on October 5:

Joe Biden's attorney general wants the FBI to go after parents for speaking out at school board meetings to protect kids from radical curriculum like critical race theory.

What actually happened is that the National School Boards Association asked President Joe Biden's administration for help because unhinged parents, high on Newsmax, were threatening their members. This has to do with escalating battles over both "critical race theory" (not critical race theory but rather teaching that racism in America exists) and COVID-19 prevention measures in schools, such as mask mandates. Republicans have selective amnesia about the parents who get into fist fights with teachers because of the school's mask policy or the people who surround a school board member's car, like the T. rex in Jurassic Park.

The NSBA provided the DOJ with more than "20 instances of threats, harassment, disruption, and acts of intimidation that have transpired during school board meetings and that are targeted at school officials." The DOJ was asked to "investigate, intercept, and prevent the current threats and acts of violence against public school officials" through existing laws against, you know, killing people or threatening to do so. However, Republicans leapt on this opportunity to claim Biden is siccing the thought police on innocent parents who are politely asking that teachers don't make their kids watch Roots until they cry.

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There's Embarrassing, And There's Mollie Hemingway Writing About Spending Five Hours With Donald Trump

Garbage human Federalist idiot Mollie Hemingway has some crap book to promote, so she has published excerpts from five hours of interviews she conducted with Donald Trump at Mar-a-Lago. She is pretty proud of all this.

The excerpt begins with Hemingway taking a picture with Trump, or at least trying to. Trump didn't like how he looked in the first one. In the second, he found himself attractive — delusional bullshit features heavily here — but concluded that Hemingway still wasn't attractive enough. "I like me, but I still don't like her," he said.

Trump dropped everything and decided to teach me how to take a picture. Somehow I'd reached my 40s without knowing how.

And Hemingway accepted his instruction.

He told me to angle my body, put my hand on my hip, and a few other tricks. "You can trust me: my wife is a supermodel," he said, as if I were unaware. Margo showed him the resulting picture.

He looked at it, paused briefly, and said, "Well there you go," clearly pleased with the result. He was right, it looked much better.

Donald Trump, always there to show a woman where to place her hips so she doesn't appear so disgusting to him. Dear God.

What follows is several grafs of Hemingway apparently attempting to avoid saying there's something wrong with Trump's brain.

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Sorry, LGBTQ+ Kids, Greg Abbott's Got An Election To Win

It's a great day to shit on LGBTQ kids in Texas!

Well, that's every day in Texas, to be fair. But today they are doing it in spectacularly nasty fashion by disabling a state website that linked to a suicide hotline for LGBTQ+ kids in foster care because it might jeopardize Gov. Greg Abbott's electoral prospects.

Sorry about your mental health, kids, but we can't be using state resources to help you when Ol' Greg's got a primary challenger.

And what a beaut that challenger is! Check out Don Huffines, the real estate developer hoping to wrest the GOP nomination from Abbott next year.

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Charlie Kirk So Mad White Conservative Men Banned From Sports Now

Here's one more conniption for your file of white men losing it because Las Vegas Raiders coach Jon Gruden had to resign over all his racist sexist homophobic gross bad emails. Surprise, it is Charlie Kirk, and he is making the face you see above.

Kirk knows what's really happening, why Gruden got pushed out, and it's because white Catholic conservative menfolk just aren't welcome anymore in woke sports like football. This is of course by the decree of Roger Goodell, who is we guess the dictator tyrant prince of Critical Race Theory Cancel Cultures, on top of his regular duties as NFL commissioner.

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Journalism

Chris Cillizza Says Trump Always Sues Everybody Except When He Doesn't. Cillizza Paycheck Accomplished!

The Great Understander weighs in.

You'll be shocked to learn Donald Trump has sued to stop the House January 6 Committee from getting its hands on documents related to how Trump incited the January 6 attack on Congress. It's a bad idiot lawsuit, and it should feel like a bad idiot. The mean Biden White House won't do executive privilege over the documents Congress wants, and the lawsuit whines that Congress's requests "are untethered from any legitimate legislative purpose," as if Congress doesn't have any legitimate interest in preventing future presidents from inciting domestic terrorist attacks against it.

Sure, you bet.

We come not to sift through all the words of the clown lawsuit, though. Other people can do that. We come instead to make fun of Chris Cillizza's "analysis" of the lawsuit, which is basically "Hey, you guys! Ever notice how Donald Trump sues a lot? He sure does a lot of suing! But sometimes he says he's going to sue, but then he doesn't! Wow! This is completely new political analysis. Give me paycheck for news analysis please now."

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Culture Wars

Bari Weiss Is A Ridiculous Person

Evergreen headline.

In an interview that by all rights should have only ever been aired in the eighth circle of hell, Brian Stelter spoke to Bari Weiss this weekend on CNN about how Bari Weiss and her opinions and favorite news stories are being censored by outlets like CNN.

Weiss, who left the New York Times last year to do Substack, shared her frustration that outlets like CNN and the New York Times did not cover theories, then-unconfirmed stories and opinions personally held by Bari Weiss as absolute fact. Somehow this is censorship.

Stelter, referencing the "about" page for Weiss's Substack newsletter, asked her in what ways she thinks the world has "gone mad." Weiss passionately listed all the ways she believes the world has "gone mad," which is a good way to make a bunch of disparate and not very serious things sound very related and very serious.

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Right Wing Extremism

GOP Rep. Thomas Massie Pretty Sure It’s Very Ethical And Cool To Fake COVID-19 Vaccine Credentials

This is a sitting member of Congress.

Kentucky GOP Rep. Thomas Massie is a big whiny brat when it comes to COVID-19. He's whined about masks and he's whined about vaccine mandates. This summer, he compared vaccine passports to the Holocaust like a common Marjorie Taylor Greene. Now, he's urging passive resistance against the mandates in the form of deliberate fraud.

Friday, Massie, a professional lawmaker, tweeted the following “hypothetical."

Twitter

hypothetically:

I believe if a person were to find a vaccine provider who would fake the administration of the vaccine, this would be an ethical form of non-compliance for both the provider and the receiver, legality notwithstanding.

It would also be hard to prove this happened

It's hardly ethical to gain admission into a space under false pretenses. This isn't the same as using a fake ID to get into a bar. You're jeopardizing the health of other people, who think they've made the safe choice to avoid unvaccinated dullards.

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