Ohio Militia Woman Only Stormed Capitol To Protect People, Honest!

CNN is throwing another pity party for a member of the MAGA mob that stormed the Capitol on January 6. This one's in honor of Jessica Watkins from Woodstock, Ohio.

In her Ohio hometown, she's known as an Army veteran who runs a bar and set up a small self-styled militia her boyfriend says she created to help neighbors if tornadoes hit.

To the FBI, she's a militant leader who traveled to Washington, DC, and stormed the US Capitol, encouraging others to do the same.

When domestic terrorism's involved, it only matters how the FBI defines you. Watkins is now detained at the Montgomery County Jail in Dayton, Ohio. She's charged with conspiracy, conspiracy to impede an officer, destruction of government property, obstruction of an official proceeding, entering a restricted building or grounds without lawful authority, and violent entry or disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds.

FBI agents reportedly recovered in her home what "appears to be directions for making explosives, authored by 'the Jolly Roger.'" That's also the name of Watkins's bar, because she must've assumed no one would ever connected the dots.

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Pour One Out For Josh Hawley, The REAL Victim Of The Capitol Riot

There are only two rules to GOP politics. Rule One: Republicans are always the victim. Rule Two: When in doubt, see Rule One. So it's no surprise that GOP Senator Josh Hawley has penned an opinion piece for the New York Post mourning the real victim of the Capitol Riot.

Spoiler Alert: It's Josh Hawley, whose "social credit score" has "taken a nosedive this month."

Hmmmm, did anything else happen this month, Senator?

In the cover story for a major tabloid catering to a city of eight million people with a nationwide online readership, Hawley explains why "It's time to stand up against the muzzling of America." Because if there's anyone who's muzzled, it's a guy with his own press secretary and carte blanche to air his bullshit on every Rupert Murdoch platform this side of the Atlantic.

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GOP: No ‘Unity’ So Long As Democrats Insist On Existing!

After the previous White House occupant raised a MAGA mob against Congress, Republicans have falsely equated a violent insurrection with peaceful resistance to a presidential administration. Remember when white ladies wore pink hats on January 21, 2017? That's just the same as Confederate-flag wielding white supremacists storming the Capitol and chanting, “Hang Mike Pence!"

During an interview with Greta Van Susteren, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy tried to pin the blame on the donkey.

McCarthy [...] noted the division in the country and the protests that followed [the last presidential] inauguration four years earlier. "What do we write on our social media? What do we say to one another? How do we disagree and still not be agreeable even when it comes to opinion?" he said.

Can't we all just get along, while hiding from the mob a sitting president incited?

McCarthy didn't have some grand epiphany about the negative impact of rightwing media's 24-hour outrage cycle. No, he just charged Democrats with the high crime of putting up a fight during a Republican presidential administration.

"We all owe some responsibility here too, what our rhetoric has been, the different language that people have used, what you said on social media. We have risen these temperatures so great. In the last inaugural, we started with, 'resist.' We have members of Congress saying we should get in other people's faces. We need to lower the temperature. We need to understand that we're all Americans, and we need to start respecting differences of opinion, he said in a video posted to his Facebook page on January 16.
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Right-Wing Trolls Weaponize Bad Faith Outrage, Get NYT Editor Fired (Allegedly!)

Last Tuesday, New York Times freelance editor Lauren Wolfe tweeted that she got "chills" seeing Joe Biden's plane land in Washington, DC.

Almost immediately, right-wing trolls launched a campaign to get her fired, claiming the tweet revealed she was "biased" against conservatives. By Thursday, Wolfe, a veteran reporter on the subject of sexual violence against women, was no longer employed.

Soon enough, there was a campaign to push the Times to hire Wolfe back, and also to stop cowing to the bad faith demands of internet trolls.

The New York Times responded to this by saying that they did not fire her over the tweet, but rather over something so bad they can't even tell us.

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2020 presidential election

DOJ Plot Against America Election Coup Gets Very Own Inspector General Investigation. Mazel Tov!

And a congressional investigation, too. Lucky lucky!

Time for your Daily Coup Update! Because Your Wonkette will be tapping out 'splainers on the Previous Occupant's crazy schemes to illegally stay in office for a long, long time.

When last we left our villain, he had been introduced to devious Justice Department lawyer Jeffrey Clark by an unknown Pennsylvania politician. "That you, Scott Perry?" we wondered. And we were right. (Whodathunkit, right?) The New York Times confirms it was indeed that very GOP Pennsylvania congressman who hooked Donald Trump up with Clark, the (acting) head of the Civil Division, where they hatched a plot to shove aside (acting) Attorney General Jeffrey Rosen, Clark's former mentor at Kirkland & Ellis, and use the DOJ's authority to force Georgia to throw out its electoral votes based on spurious charges of fraud.

In a normal, functional Justice Department, the president does not have direct contact with lower level attorneys behind the back of the attorney general. But let's not get waylaid on that particular bit of fuckery, because there's so much more!

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Politics

Rand Paul​ Won't Let Facts And Insurrections Keep Him From Telling Trump's Big Lie

It's your Sunday show rundown!

Rand Paul has been a lot of things: A self-certified ophthalmologist, an extremely bad neighbor, a Covid disinformation super-spreader, a scalawag and a ragamuffin.

But the words that best describe him are "utter asshole."

He was the asshole who blocked an anti-lynching bill. He was the asshole who blocked the 9/11 First Responders Compensation Fund. Same asshole who voted against the Covid relief package.

So it's no surprise he would continue that streak on ABC's "This Week" with George Stephanopoulos.

Stephanopoulos began by asking what should have been an easy starter question:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Senator Paul, let me begin with a threshold question for you. This election was not stolen, do you accept that fact?

Unfortunately for Stephanopoulos, and the audience itself, it never moved past this question.

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Trump

Dominion Voting Systems To Rudy Giuliani: F*ck Around And Find Out.

Well THIS is a fun lawsuit!

While the monster who used to run the country has retired to be the Florida Man he always was inside, and most of his closest allies have started to slink back into the various sewers they crawled out from, the rest of us have been waiting to see if any of them will held accountable for the damage they've done.

For the last several years, Rudy Giuliani has been one of Donald Trump's loudest and most reliable blowhards. Whether it's because the two have dirt on each other or each simply realized he had found a kindred spirit of hate and lies, Rudy remains to this day a loyal Trump defender.

After Joe Biden decisively won the November election, Trump and co-conspirators like Giuliani just went full tinfoil hat and rolled with whatever batshit insane conspiracy theories they could come up with. Several of those conspiracy theories were about Dominion Voting Systems, which provides hardware and software for elections. None of it makes any sense whatsoever, but it all has something to do with Dead Hugo Chavez conspiring, we assume, with Antifa, to make sure Joe Biden defeated Donald Trump, nearly a decade after Chavez's death.

Unfortunately for Dominion, large percentages of both the American people and people who hold public office in this country are cult members who believe anything their Dear Leader blathers. This has put Dominion's government contracts and the future of the company at risk.

After months of slander, Dominion is fighting back. Earlier this month, Dominion released the $1.3 billion kraken on Sidney Powell. And now it has shot back with another $1.3 billion suit — this time, against "America's mayor," himself. (Full suit at bottom of this post, and also right here.)

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