Mike Lindell Will Lead The Children Of The Corn To Storm The Supreme Court

Look out, SCOTUS, the Pillow Fluffer is coming right at ya!

Last night Mike Lindell assembled the faithful for a rally at South Dakota's famous Corn Palace to celebrate President Trump's incipient return to the White House. Laugh away, haters! But the Pillow Man has got a Pillow Plan to make it happen.

First, his spiffy new FrankSpeech.com site — the one that's just about to put "Mr. Alphabet, Mr. Google, Suckabuck, and Dorky" out of business — will air an hour of evidence every night during the next five weeks.

"If I worked for Dominion right now, I'd be turning myself in," he told Steve Bannon last week. "I wouldn't even let it get too much longer, it's over for them."

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Rich Guy You Barely Know Wants To Be Your Next Awful GOP Governor From Virginia

Republicans have a nominee for the 2021 governor's race, and it's ... this guy: Glenn Youngkin is a first-time candidate who's never held elected office, but he's rich! That never ends well, but Republicans are gonna keep trying.

After securing the nomination, Youngkin tweeted Monday: “Virginians have made it clear that they are ready for a political outsider with proven business experience to bring real change in Richmond." He hit all the buzz words in his political Mad Libs.

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Kevin McCarthy Says GOP Big Tent Of Diverse Thinkers Free To Worship Trump Each In Their Own Unique Way

On Monday, the first day of the week when House Republicans are expected to expel from leadership their third-highest ranking member, Liz Cheney, for aggravated wrongthink — specifically for refusing to tell the lie that Donald Trump won an election he actually lost really hard — House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy decided to send his colleagues a letter. To lay out their shared values. To encourage his people on what must be a hard day for them. To reassure them they're holy and pure and doing the right thing.

Wonkette will now read that letter.

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This Is The Correct Way To Go On Newsmax Or Fox

Here is a nice trend piece about something we hope becomes a legitimate trend.

It is called "getting invited on a batshit rightwing network to talk about one thing, and then instead using your time to yell at the batshit right-wing network for spreading Donald Trump's Big Lie about the election."

Here is former Obama speechwriter David Litt on Newsmax yesterday. Litt was invited on to talk about "Elon Musk" and "SNL." And he did talk about those things, and all the speculative Dogecoin-buying craziness that came just before the appearance. Litt just quickly contextualized them.

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Trump

Did Trumps Bone Secret Service In More Ways Than One?

We are just asking!

The Washington Post's Carol Leonnig is a real reporter, one of the best. So we'd like to be clear that this is not the gossip pages.

This is a real reporter reporting in a real book that apppppppppppparently certain members of the Trump family may have spent their time under Secret Service protection — WHICH YOU'RE STILL PAYING FOR, OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN? — enjoying some of the Secret Service's other secret services if you know what we mean and we think you do, allegedly.

Was it this Trump? Did this Trump invite the Secret Service back to his boudoir for a piece of his romance?

Was it this Trump?

Sorry, that's too gross. It wasn't the older Trump boys, and we are sorry we just made you think about them doing coituses, that is disgusting.

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Right Wing Extremism

What Happens When The Next MAGA Coup Works?

US democracy is also dying in daylight.

The United States held strong and avoided a blatant, anti-democratic jacklegged coup from a sitting president, who refused to accept that he'd lost the election like a big loser who loses elections without Russia's help. As Captain America once declared, “America stands!" ... but does it?

Republicans didn't ditch the twice-impeached thug, even after he incited a violent mob that attacked them. They have doubled down in their slavish devotion, claiming that the Mar-a-Lago resident is the bleak, dystopian future of the GOP. If the 2020 election was Return of the Jedi, with the fall of the evil Empire, what we're witnessing now is the brazen buildup to the more sinister, even duller, First Order.

It's clear if you're paying attention that the GOP doesn't consider the January 6 insurrection a recent low point in the American experiment, after four years of low points. No, Republicans are downright offended that Democrats have the nerve to win elections, and they are making every effort to ensure it doesn't happen again. White supremacist riots in the seat of government are apparently fine, but Democratic wins in Georgia require an immediate response.

Conservative David Frum remarked on a recent podcast that the GOP has decided to become a “post-democratic party, in which taking part in a violent attack on Congress is no big deal, in which corruption is no big deal." There is no respect for the truth. All that matters is power.

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Conspiracy theories

QAnon Idiots Gonna Overturn All Of Arizona, That's What They're Gonna Do

Everything's going well.

What's a poor QAnon idiot to do? They couldn't overthrow Joe Biden's election by seizing the Capitol by force. Things aren't going well with their nutbag fraud-it in Arizona, even though they've been X-raying all the ballots for signs of invisible bamboo, to prove they were fraudulently cast by 'GIIIIIIIIINA.

It's almost like nothing these fuckloons believe is based on a shred of reality, and their insistence on believing it is really at its root a cry for help, or a friend, or a family member who returns their phone calls.

Well now they've figured it out. They're suing to overturn Arizona! Or something like that. That's right, they have decided that ALL THE ARIZONA ELECTIONS are no longer valid, going back to 2018, and they are demanding in a quo warranto petition that the Arizona Supreme Court invalidate them all and replace 19 particular officeholders with ... themselves? Sure why not!

And who is themselves? Well, that is redacted for their own personal safety, sirs and madams! Among the 19 officials named in the filing are Arizona Governor Doug Ducey, Secretary of State Katie Hobbs, Maricopa County Sheriff Paul Penzone, state Treasurer Kimberly Yee, a few mayors, and some others. These 19, according to this court filing, are inadvertent usurpers, because ... because REASONS. And the people bringing this suit are qualified electors who are "entitled to the seats in question," because ... because MORE REASONS.

They note that in times past, when vacancies have occurred, the governor has tended to appoint "pedigreed, well known politicians," but assures the Court that "this is not necessary." It is fine for the governor to just appoint QAnon idiots sniffing ballots for bamboo fibers to all the seats in Arizona.

But of course, they note that in this case, the governor cannot appoint the new people, because the governor himself is an inadvertent usurper. Therefore the Arizona Supreme Court has to do it. It's only right and lawful!

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