HE TRIED TO DRIVE THE LIMO FROM THE BACK SEAT

You know, if the House January 6 Select Committee is going to announce surprise hearings that fuck up our entire day, it would be nice if those hearings weren't so very zzzzzzzzzzz.

Like come on, what American president hasn't lunged from the backseat toward the front seat of the Beast AKA the presidential limo and grabbed at the steering wheel with their tiny meaty chunky ugly little pockmarked frontal beef hooves because they were mad the Secret Service wouldn't drive them to the Capitol to overthrow the United States government?

Fuck off, they all do that.

Today's witness, Cassidy Hutchinson, who was Chief of Staff Mark Meadows's right-hand person, may have been in the room for all of it, but doesn't sound like she saw that much.

OK fine, she was able to testify about all the times Donald Trump flung his lunch dishes at the wall in his private dining room because he was upset, and how she helped wipe the ketchup off the wall, and how he also liked to do that thing where you take the whole tablecloth, dishes and all, and just dramatically throw it all on the floor, which is basically cartoon slapstick we really didn't think real people did in real life.

Totally normal presidential behavior. We bet Hillary would have done that if the Trump campaign hadn't conspired with Russians to steal that election.

OK but real talk though.

WHAT THE FUCK?

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Surprise January 6 Hearing, Let's Watch It Live!

You ready for this? We have your preview right here, where Wonkette explains how Mark Meadow's former aide Cassidy Hutchinson is going to fuck everybody's shit up in today's surprise emergency hearing of the House January 6 Select Committee.

Now we get to watch it together!

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Meadows Aide Cassidy Hutchinson Ready To F*ck Sh*t Up At Jan 6 Committee Hearing

Surprise! We're getting another hearing at 1 p.m. today from the House January 6 Select Committee. The primary witness will be Cassidy Hutchinson, former aide to Trump's consigliere Mark Meadows.

WHO?

Well, if you've been watching the hearings, you've already met Hutchinson. She's the woman with all the details on which Republican politicians asked for pardons; and which ones knew in advance that the permitted rally on the Ellipse was going to turn into a march on Congress; and whether Mark Meadows was warned in advance that the January 6 protest had the potential to turn violent; and how Trump wasn't the least bit perturbed when the pitchfork mob he sicced on Congress shouted to "Hang Mike Pence."


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Ooh, Hillary Clinton's Talkin' Sh*t About Clarence Thomas

Not long before the world got to read Clarence Thomas's snail trail scrawlings in his concurrence in Dobbs (which overturned the right to an abortion or any other facet of the right to privacy established in Roe v. Wade ), where Thomas salivated over maybe overturning Obergefell and Lawrence and Griswold and any other substantive due process ruling that doesn't benefit him personally, we got to hear that shitface talk down to America, telling us we should learn to "live with outcomes we don't agree with."

Until the end of time, fuck you.

But this is a blog post about Hillary Clinton talking about her old law school classmate and what a rage-filled grievance clown he's apparently always been.


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National Politics

Kamala Harris Knew Kavanaugh And Gorsuch Lied To Her Face, Jesus Christ, Duh

Harris is speaking out this week about the untimely murder of Roe v. Wade.

In case you've been wondering where President Joe Biden has been this week, he's in Europe, doing things like "G-7" and "NATO stuff" and "King of Spain." (Well, he's not doing the king of Spain. Probably.)

But Vice President Kamala Harris is back home in America, and she's got some words to say about Samuel Alito and his lunch table full of Opus Dei creeps overturning abortion rights in a desperate bid to get the Virgin Mary to go to prom with them.

Before they murdered Roe, Harris was loudly shouting "How DARE they." Now they have dared. To NPR, Harris put it in perspective:

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January 6

Ginni Thomas Wishes She Could Help The Jan 6 Committee, But ...

LOL, look at this bullshit.

Two weeks ago, Ginni Thomas was raring to march on the Capitol like the brave patriots of January 6, 2021 — the ones who didn't get cold and "leave" — to tell those fake Americans on the House January 6 Select Committee what's what!

“I can’t wait to clear up misconceptions. I look forward to talking to them,” Mrs. Justice Clarence Thomas told the Daily Caller on June 16, after it came out that not only had she been spamming legislators with debunked claims of ballot fraud after the 2020 election but she'd also emailed with Coups 4 Dummies lawyer John Eastman to get updates on the litigation to overturn Biden's win.

Not to mention those texts to Mark Meadows endorsing the most batshit insane conspiracies and asking about rumors that the “Biden crime family & ballot fraud co-conspirators (elected officials, bureaucrats, social media censorship mongers, fake stream media reporters, etc) are being arrested & detained for ballot fraud right now & over coming days, & will be living in barges off GITMO to face military tribunals for sedition.”

Awkward!

But it seems that in the past two weeks, Mrs. T has had a change of heart.

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January 6

Reviews Are In: Select Committee's 'Madness Of King Donald' Was Boffo Hit!

Trumpworld agrees: Now is the time to investigate Hunter Biden.

The New Yorker's John Cassidy noted a sure sign that the Trumposphere was nervous about yesterday's House January 6 Select Committee hearing: Much of Tuesday morning, leading up to Cassidy Hutchinson's testimony, Trumpers managed to get "Hunter Biden" trending on social media. The bots were very worried.

And Oh, Golly was there a lot of upset over the testimony from Hutchinson, who had worked in the White House as a top aide to Mark Meadows, Trump's chief of staff. That's probably not too surprising, considering all she had to say!

Read More!

Surprise January 6 Hearing, Let's Watch It Live!

HE TRIED TO DRIVE THE LIMO FROM THE BACK SEAT

Hutchinson revealed, among many other things, that Trump knew there were a lot of armed people in the crowd that day, and wanted the metal detectors removed for his speech, because nobody was there to hurt him. Following the speech telling the faithful to go to the Capitol, Trump insisted he wanted to go too, because "I'm the fucking president, take me up to the Capitol now!' He allegedly lunged at the steering wheel of the armored SUV and tried to attack Bobby Engel, the head of Trump's Secret Service detail. Previously, after Bill Barr's AP interview saying there was no election fraud, Trump threw his food at the wall, breaking the plate and spattering ketchup all over.

So yeah, Trump mad. He performed his usual denial ritual, saying he barely recognized Hutchinson, but he'd heard "very negative things about her (a total phony and 'leaker')" and suggested she was just trying to sabotage him because she hadn't gotten a job at Mar-a-Lago. Because man, nobody does spiteful like low-level staffers.

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