LIVE BLOG: Partisan GOP SCOTUS Hacks Hear Arguments In 15-Week MS Abortion Ban

Today is a terrible day at the Supreme Court.

The nine justices, most of whom are partisan Republican hacks, and several of whose nominations and confirmations were entirely illegitimate, will hear oral arguments in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the case over whether Mississippi's 15-week abortion ban — and by extension all pre-viability bans — is constitutional. In other words, this is the case that could overturn Roe, or gut it beyond recognition.

So let's liveblog the terribleness together! For backgrounders and more analysis, check out SCOTUSblog and NPR and CNN and hey, if you're still bored after that, google it.

Keep reading... Show less

Trump Sure Doesn't Want 1/6 Committee To See His Presidential Records! A Live Blog!

This morning the DC Circuit will hear Donald Trump's appeal of a DC District judge's refusal to stop the National Archives from releasing records to the January 6 Select Committee. I will liveblog it for you, so, fingers crossed that Team Trump delivers its usual high-caliber hijinks.

Three weeks ago, Judge Tanya Chutkan dick kicked Trump's request to enjoin the Archives from releasing his records. Apparently the court failed to see the logic behind his lawyers' argument that the former president's claim of executive privilege counts more than the sitting president's waiver. Then she dick kicked him again when he demanded that she stay her own order.

But the appeals court hopped in and did Trump a solid and put the order on hold. Only it was a very tiny solid, since they set a blistering schedule, forcing the lawyers to submit their briefs in rapid fashion and argue the appeal TODAY.

Keep reading... Show less

Some Insufficient Words About Stephen Sondheim

Stephen Sondheim died Sunday. Describing him as a “composer," “lyricist" or even an “American musical theatre legend" feels too limiting, like calling Shakespeare a guy who wrote plays, and Sondheim is very much the 20th Century Shakespeare, a visionary who revolutionized an art form. This would've been true if Sondheim had died from his heart attack at 49, but he lived to 91 and was only more innovative in his later years.

I'm neither qualified nor emotionally ready to articulate Sondheim's place in history. I can only discuss what he means to me, if you'll forgive the indulgence.

I clearly recall the first time I heard a Sondheim song. Yes, this makes me incredibly middle-aged, but I watched the first-ever broadcast of the Fox network on April 5, 1987. There were two airings that night of the pilots for "Married ... with Children" and "The Tracey Ullman Show." During the first Ullman sketch, “The Makeover," she sings Sondheim's “I Feel Pretty" in front of a mirror. (Music by Leonard Bernstein.)

Keep reading... Show less

You Bought Nothing Yesterday. Now It's Time To WONKETTE BAZAAR!

You have a loved one who LURVES YOUR WONKETTE. Buy them some shit straight from our basement! Nota bene: We are shutting down our basement factory right after Christmas, so if you wanted some presents from us anytime in the first half of the year, please to buy it ahead of time, hide it in your garage, and then forget not only where you hid it, but also what you bought. Now you are a Schoenkopf, you lucky bastard you.

Keep reading... Show less
fox news

Tucker Finds Non-White Person To Stick Up For. Maaaaybe.

Details remain unclear.

Stop us if you've heard this one before.

Tucker Carlson — who became the Little Lord Fauntleroy heir of a frozen dinner family fortune when his father remarried, after Tucker's original mother surveyed the situation when Tucker was six and peaced right on out of there — is concerned about the hired help. Not his own, mind you. He's worried about the nanny CNN's Brian Stelter apparently just had to fire, because she refused to get vaccinated after Stelter and his wife gave her six months of chances.

Tucker presented this breaking news as EXCLUSIVE AUDIO YOU'LL HEAR NOWHERE ELSE. It is tape of Stelter explaining to some people how he hated to have to let the nanny go, but hey, whatcha gonna do, she won't get vaxxed:

Keep reading... Show less
January 6

Trump DOJ Lawyer Jeffrey Clark Lands It Like Hindenberg With Jan. 6 Committee

There's fucking around and finding out, and there's whatever this hot mess of insanity is.

Turns out former Justice Department lawyer Jeffrey B. Clark is just as good at lawyering as he is at staging coups. By which we mean he is hilariously, breathtakingly incompetent, and we would dissolve into puddles of laughter if the future of American democracy weren't at stake.

Remember that Clark had that very good and well-thought-out plan to shiv his former mentor Jeffrey Rosen, then the (acting) Attorney General, and take his job. Rosen and his deputy Richard Donoghue had already said NFW to Clark's proposed letter to Georgia election officials claiming that the DOJ was investigating fraud in the state and thus the legislature should feel free to convene and give all the electoral votes to Donald Trump. But Clark had been whispering in the old man's orange ear behind his boss's back, and only threats by the entire senior leadership of the DOJ and White House Counsel's Office to resign en masse persuaded the president not to let Clark carry out his insane plot.

Keep reading... Show less
Snake Oil And General Woo

Don't Tell An Anti-Vaxxer To Go Eat Dirt, Because They WILL Take It Literally!

Not just dirt, but landfill dirt.

If we were worse people, we would all be millionaires right now. Billionaires, probably. Because if we have learned anything over this pandemic, it is that there is a frighteningly large segment of the population who will turn their noses up at anything an actual doctor says, but who will guzzle bleach no-questions-asked at the suggestion of some random Instagram person. Each time they come out with a new thing — colloidal silver, white oleander, bleach enemas — it seems like they have hit rock bottom, or should have. "Well, at least it can't get any more bizarre than this," you said to yourself, probably, when they were putting horse paste up their butts.

Oh how wrong you (probably) were. Because this whole damn time they were eating and bathing in "magic dirt." Go figure!

Keep reading... Show less

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)