Very Serious Dr. Oz Ad Depicts John Fetterman’s Head As Groovy Party With Giant Bong, AOC Inside It

Republican Dr. Mehmet Oz is currently losing the Pennsylvania Senate race to actual Pennsylvania resident and Democratic lieutenant governor John Fetterman. TV’s Dr. Oz is more an entertainer than a competent doctor or political candidate, so it’s been highly entertaining to watch his campaign flail about helplessly like a turtle flipped on its back.

Fetterman even took time off the campaign trail to recover from a goddamn stroke, and the best Dr. Oz has been able to do is insist Fetterman is Bernie Sanders in a hoodie, which by the way is an adorable image.

PREVIOUSLY: Dr. Oz Keeps Forgetting He’s Not Running Against His Old Buddy Bernie Sanders

Even a recent poll from Dr. Oz’s beloved Fox News showed Fetterman pants-ing him by double digits. Dr. Oz needs to get serious, especially now that his opponent has actively resumed campaigning.

So, no more fooling around with goofy, poorly photoshopped memes. Dr. Oz has hit Fetterman with a goofy, poorly photoshopped campaign ad.

OK, so what the hell is this? The supposedly professional political ad looks like the intro to the 1980s “Hey Vern, It’s Ernest” Saturday morning kids show.

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Right Wing Scolds Having A Normal One Over 'A League Of Their Own' Series

"Lesbians? There's no lesbians in baseball!" cried the teeming masses of frustrated right-wing crybabies who overtook the Amazon reviews page for the new "A League Of Their Own" series this weekend, claiming they were expecting an entirely wholesome series about nice ladylike white ladies playing baseball and not swearing and definitely not being lesbians.

This seems a little difficult to believe given the source material, the actual history of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League (AAGPBL) and literally everything the show creators have been saying since it was first announced. Especially given that what they mean by "woke" can pretty much be boiled down to "TV shows are about other people now and I don't like it!"

It's to be expected, due to the many horrible people in the world, but it's gotten so bad that showrunner Will Graham asked those enjoying the show to review, to counteract the trolls giving it one-star reviews because of their homophobia and racism.

Yesterday when I checked Amazon, the average rating was 2.2 stars and the majority of reviews came from creeps whining about how there are lesbians and Black people on the show. It's since gone up to 3.7, balanced out by people who actually watched the show and enjoyed it, as opposed to those who simply read Daily Wire articles about it.

While most just said right out that they were "upset" by seeing two women kiss, others tried to be a little more highbrow by incorrectly claiming the inclusion of lesbians and Black people made the show "historically inaccurate."

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Coup-Plotting Trump Might’ve Also Had Documents Revealing US Intelligence Sources

When the FBI conducted a perfectly legal search of Donald Trump’s tacky Florida alligator rest home, Republicans demanded to know why the Department of Justice would dare inconvenience a former coup-plotting president. It turns out the feds were retrieving classified documents Trump had stolen at the end of his term. This led to Republican hacks insisting there’s no such thing as “classified” documents if Trump wishes real hard.

Trump’s former campaign strategist Jason Miller claimed Trump had a “standing order” that whatever important documents he took with him to Mar-a-Lago were instantly declassified.

This seems remarkably sloppy and unsafe. It’s also not entirely legal. As Graeme Wood writes for The Atlantic, there "are certain materials that presidents cannot classify and declassify at will.” The first big one — as in “KABOOM” — is nuclear secrets.

PREVIOUSLY:

By The Pricking Of Our Thumbs, Something Treason This Way Comes? Allegedly!

Trump Wraps Unprecedented Week With Warrant Showing Investigation For OH JUST ESPIONAGE

Trump Admits To Attempting To Overthrow The Government. Again.

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Wonkette Weekend Chat: ‘What The Hell, Wisconsin?’ Edition

Last week’s Wisconsin Republican primary produced results that demanded we activate the Jamie Signal and summon our badass law-talker to discuss the escalating electoral mess. Fascism’s on the march!

PREVIOUSLY:

Wisconsin Primary: Trump-Backed Sociopath Defeats Pence-Backed Sociopath!

Vote And Die! Democracy According To The US Supreme Court And Wisconsin Supreme Court

We kick off at 12 pm PT, 3 pm ET, and 2 pm Robyn time. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe! See you soon.

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Media/Entertainment

Dr. Oz Is The Sex Robot Candidate For Pennsylvania Senate

Seriously, have people watched this goofball’s show?

Americans have shared a collective chorus of laughter over Dr. Mehmet Oz’s absurd crudités-shopping video. Chefs have weighed in on his questionable choices, such as apparently pairing a head of broccoli with chunky salsa. Dr. Oz’s opponent in the Pennsylvania Senate race, Democratic Lt. Gov. John Fetterman, is already fundraising off the “Let Them Eat Crudités” moment.

So, once again, we’re wondering why anyone thought Dr. Oz was a serious candidate for Senate from anywhere, least of all Pennsylvania. The guy’s what professional political consultants call a “total weirdo.” Donald Trump’s celebrity persona, particularly while hosting “The Apprentice,” might’ve convinced average Americans that he knew how to run a business (he didn’t), but let’s take a quick trip through Dr. Oz’s TV history. It’s bonkers.

A February 2018 episode of "The Dr. Oz Show” has a segment on exorcisms. It’s like the "World of Psychics" show from Ghostbusters 2, but Dr. Peter Venkman is a lovable huckster. Also, ghosts and demons actually exist in his world. Dr. Oz presumably lives in our reality. Dr. Oz moderated a debate between loons who believe in exorcisms and people with nothing better to do than argue with them.


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Trump

Loser Trump Can't Find Real Lawyers Again

Well ain't that some shit.

It is a game among lawyering types, to make fun of Donald Trump's bad lawyers. We have engaged in the practice at Wonkette before, probably very gently, as is our style. We hate to generalize — hate it — but nobody wants to work for a loser who incriminates himself every time he opens his mouth and also has a really poor reputation for paying his bills.

Everybody likes a challenge, but not that kind of challenge.

And here we are again, as Trump is easily in the most peril he's ever faced, where anybody can see that if this ends with indictments, he could be going away to prison for a very long time, or at least until he chokes while hurling some jailhouse ketchup at the wall.

The dream team of Washington Post reporters including Carol Leonnig, Josh Dawsey, Jaccqueline Alemany and all the others report on Trump's current inability to find a real damn lawyer yet again. They note that his current legal army is made up, in part, of a "Florida insurance lawyer who’s never had a federal case, a past general counsel for a parking garage company and a former host at far-right One America News." And it's funny because that fucking OAN idiot (Christina Bobb) and the parking garage lady (Alina Habba) are exactly who you keep seeing on TV, just babbling like a common OAN host and making insinuations about planted evidence and whatnot.

But it's not that Trump is so stupid that he thinks these are the good and smart and qualified lawyers that the grownups hire, though he does personally have a reputation for surrounding himself with the absolute stupidest people in the world and thinking he's hit the jackpot.

It's just that everybody is telling him to fuck off:

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Elections

Liz Cheney Goes Out Swinging

Sorry, this is still bad news.

In the end, it wasn’t close. Rep. Liz Cheney lost her seat Tuesday in the Wyoming Republican primary. Donald Trump-endorsed candidate Harriet Hageman crushed Cheney 68.3 percent to 28.9 percent. Hageman carried every county but Albany and Teton.

Cheney conceded defeat in the primary but not in the larger battle against Trumpism: "This primary election is over. But now the real work begins.”

Cheney was a hardcore conservative who voted with Trump 93 percent of the time. She’s voted against abortion rights, voting rights, queer rights, and most gun safety bills. This matters because she received the Thomas More treatment for refusing to take the oath of Trump supremacy. This isn’t 2010 when incumbent Republicans were primaried by rightwing Tea Party candidates. This is a MAGA purge.

PREVIOUSLY:

If Liz Cheney’s Not Down With Trump’s Mob Insurrection, Why Is She Even A Republican?

Liz Cheney Loves Her Sister And Doesn't Even Support Coups, What Kind Of Republican Is She?

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