Republicans Big Mad At Vegetables Again

The "Arugula Wars" are back, baby! Along with flannel shirts and denim overalls, everything old and unflattering is new again.

In case you missed this shit the first go round, cast your mind back to 2007 when candidate Barack Obama visited a farm in Iowa and tried to feel the pain of Middle America by noting the price of one particular leafy green.

"Anybody gone into Whole Foods lately and see what they charge for arugula?” the senator said. “I mean, they’re charging a lot of money for this stuff.”

Thus begat one million memes about the first Black president, who grew up the child of a single mother in Hawaii, being an out-of-touch elitist. Arugula, which grows in countless American back yards, became a stand-in for every ridiculous culture war issue about who is a "real" American. Considering what those goons said about Obama's wife and mother, not to mention everything that came after, the whole thing seems relatively tame, if stupid. But stupid is kind of the GOP's brand, so ...


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Wonkette Weekend Chat Holiday Fire Sale!

It’s the first Sunday in December, and I’ve already finished my Christmas shopping. I don’t mess around. Sammy Davis Jr. sang “It’s Christmas Time All Over The World,” which is somewhat culturally insensitive, but it’s starting to look a lot like Christmas outside my window.


Of course, if it was cold and snowy when Jesus was born, he would’ve died of exposure. Then his ghost would’ve haunted inns and hotels every year, but that feels more like Halloween. Someone should write the alternate reality holiday special

But enough about the weather! I assume we’ll discuss the latest Herschel Walker scandal before we can ideally stop thinking about Herschel Walker. If you live in Georgia and haven’t voted already, please do. Take nothing for granted! I don’t enjoy the Herschel Walker beat.

This week's Wonkette Chat is live at 12 pm PT/3 pm ET. Like, share, subscribe, pitch us some dollars for doughnuts on Patreon.


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Let's Buy Some Sh*t From Our Friends And Neighbors! Part Deux!

It's that time of year again — the time when we encourage you to support yourselves by buying some holiday presents and other stuff from your fellow Wonkette readers! We've got some real good stuff this year, so get your wallets out and get shopping. Or you can just buy stuff for me. I do like presents.

Links are in the headers!

We Believe In Dinosaurs

We Believe In Dinosaurs Etsy Shop

"My friends and I wrote and recorded some sassy music for kids back when they had young children, and we named our group We Believe In Dinosaurs. You can buy our music here on CD (HAHA! CD!) along with our little paperback book that goes along with our song "Practice." Also t-shirts, many featuring the art from the book. Tie-dye dino coffee mugs, stuff like that." — Suzie Greenberg

You can also check out some of the band's songs on bandcamp — Suzie tells us "There's a song called We Wear Pants ('Cause It's The Law) that the Wonketariat may find especially delightful. It's track 12."

Alan Klug Photography

Perhaps you might like some nice art from Wonkette operative MorganHW's photographer dad. We are told Mary Trump herself owns two of his pictures!

Vagrant Airs

If you're planning on making a digital scrapbook of your Christmas adventures or otherwise looking for some "digital playthings for artists and photographers," check out Helen Passey's Vagrant Airs shop!

Long Gone Much Missed

I actually have a whole wall of pictures of people I don't know in my apartment, a tradition carried over from my mother who once put up a picture frame and left the original picture that came with it in there, in order to see if anyone noticed that the people in the picture were not actually members of our family. So I am personally quite thrilled by this collection of art from our friend OppositeOfOligarch.

And that's not all! Or, rather, not the only shop. He also has a second shop on Etsy in which he sells vintage ephemera, antiques, and curios — including a very cool looking Japanese promotional booklet for Rosemary's Baby, which I can tell you would be a great present for the Ruth Gordon fan in your life.

ZiggyWiggyPics

Check out these lovely photographic prints from our very own Wonkette Movie Night host ZiggyWiggy — 8x10 prints for $125 each!

Moss And Lark

This store from one of our reader's daughters features cards, art prints and more! I am especially fond of the mermaid print myself, because mermaids are awesome.

Spacepig Press

Merry Christmas. Sorry your unplanned pregnancy didn't also inspire a religion.

There are lots of very hip, hilarious greeting cards, stickers, stationery, notebooks and more from Wonkette operative Christine at Spacepig Press! I actually used to buy greeting cards for a retail store many moons ago (in addition to other things, obviously) and I would have killed to find some like these back then.

The Sphynx Who Stole Christmas

Ooh, a mystery! A cozy-adjacent mystery novel from our friend M.R. Dimond!

According to the description:

Book 2 of the Black Orchid Enterprises Mystery series finds Johnny Ly, Dianne Cortez, and JD Thompson trying to celebrate their first year in business in a small Central Texas town. The weather outside is frightful, and indoors isn't looking too good either, not when a crazed hairless cat invades their Christmas party and leaves a trail of destruction in his wake.

The murder in the backyard doesn't help, but Johnny and Dianne are more worried about the cat. After the police reduce the suspect list from the entire town of Beauchamp, Texas, to just the Black Orchids' friends and family, Attorney JD Thompson springs into action to clear them all, preferably before Monday night's concert. Life's hard for a veterinarian, accountant, lawyer, and ABBA tribute band.

Cats and an ABBA tribute band? Here for it. And the first book in the series can be found here.

"Be sure to stop by my website, https://dimond.me, to enter my book giveaway for the small price of signing up for the newsletter I never write." says Dimond. "I’m even giving away a book I didn’t write."

Eco Goat Designs

Check out this store from the friend of one of our readers — featuring some super cool handmade unicorn socks, along with lots of other handmade goodies. I may have to get some to go with my unicorn slippers.

Maclares Fun House

I am absolutely obsessed with this terrifying bunny child from our friend Maclare's Ebay store. I'm not kidding. I will probably have to purchase it and start my own reborn doll YouTube channel (they exist and they are amazing). But there are lots of other "props and collectables and other crap" here for you to purchase as well.

Kate Moseman Books

If there is anything I like, it is when vampires, witches and various other supernatural creatures have to hang out in reality (and, ideally, solve mysteries!). If that's something you are also into, you may want to check out this book series by our friend Kate Moseman!


Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.


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DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT NEED A BABYSITTER YOU NEED A BABYSITTER

Donald Trump is spectacularly mad about a Fake News, everyone.

It was reported earlier this week that because of That Thing That Happened -- you know, when he had dinner with the literal Nazi and the other literal Nazi and oh my goodness, we imagine Wonkette will have some Updates On All That later today! -- they would be beefing up security procedures at Mar-a-Lago and giving Trump a personal babysitter from the campaign to make sure bad things do not happen again.

You know how it is. You're just hanging out at your south Florida trash palace pissing your pants about new special counsel, and before you know it, there's all these Nazis at your poolside dinner table saying things like "Please pass the wall ketchup" and "Awwww, look at Eric in his floaties!"

Trump Gets Round-The-Clock Babysitters To Make Sure He Doesn't Invite Any More Nazis To Dinner

Trump Seems Terrified Of New Special Counsel, Happy Holidays, MFer!

Kanye Goes Too Nazi For Alex Jones, So That Happened

Trump needs a babysitter, because he cannot possibly be trusted to make dinnertime decisions for himself. As he said on Fox News the other day, it's a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation, deciding whether or not to have dinner with Kanye and pals. "If you see him, the fake news media will create a problem," he said. "If you don’t see him, the fake news media will claim I’m a racist." Yes, he's worried the fake news will cancel him for racism, for refusing to dine with Kanye West.

But anyway, the point is that NONE OF THIS IS TRUE and WEAK AND DISCREDITED ASSOCIATED PRESS and FAKE NEWS.

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WARBLOGGING

I'm Dreaming Of A Wonkristmas

Detroit and Detroit-driveable Wonkers, YOU COME ON A MY HOUSE Sun., Dec. 18!

Hey you big jerks, do you live within driving distance of Detroit? TRICK QUESTION, all of North America can be "driving distance" of Detroit!

Well come on a my house Sunday., Dec. 18, say 3-7 p.m. (which somehow keeps ending up being 3 to 12:30 a.m.), and we will have a CLASSY FETE of ELEGANCE and CLASS! I already bought a Honeybaked ham, and your friend Lisa is making a smoked whitefish, and I am guessing I will make other stuff too, and alkyhol.

You email me at rebecca at wonkette dot com for my address, to be used ONLY FOR GOOD and NEVER FOR EVIL, and I will see you there unless I see you first, after I forget to bake this cake.




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Do your Amazon shopping through this link, because reasons.

Please keep Wonkette going forever, oh man you are going to WEEP when I write this month's moneybeg, I am putting it off because I can't even. (Oh right sorry, NOBODY'S FIRED.)

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January 6

Capitol Cops To Mitch McConnell: Aaayyyyy, Go F*ck Yourself

Oh no, cops and grieving family members politicize insurrection.

Poor Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy were snubbed today at a ceremony to honor police officers with the Congressional Gold Medal, the highest civilian honor given by the US Congress, for their service in defending the US Capitol on January 6, 2021. The ceremony was held in the Capitol Rotunda, where almost two years ago Trump supporters had called for the 2020 election to be overturned and for members of Congress and then-Vice President Mike Pence to be killed for not just handing permanent power to Donald Trump.

McConnell was among the congressional leaders on hand to speak in praise of the Capitol Police and DC Metropolitan Police officers who fought back against the mob that day. He said very nice things about the officers who protected the lives of members of Congress:



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Trump

Trump's 'Waddle Between Bed And Dinner With Nazis' Campaign Schedule Strangely Not Inspiring Confidence

Huh.

You know what they say about running for president: It's not just pooping and then dinner with white supremacists and then some more pooping.

Except that according to CNN's reporting, that's exactly what it is if you're Donald Trump right now.

For whatever sadass egomaniacal poor-me loser reason, Trump insisted on announcing he was running for president in the middle of November, a week after he lost the midterms for Republicans, and right in the middle of yet another Georgia runoff, between Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock and Trump-endorsed head injury Herschel Walker. Just right at the exact moment when even his own supporters wanted to hear from him least.

Then a few weeks later, he broke ketchup packets with Nazis, which earned him round-the-clock babysitters from the campaign. And other than that he hasn't done shit besides scream about how he wants the Constitution overthrown.

DONALD TRUMP DID NOT SAY TERMINATE THE CONSTITUTION YOU DID

Trump Gets Round-The-Clock Babysitters To Make Sure He Doesn't Invite Any More Nazis To Dinner

This is what he has been so desperately wanting. And yet he has done nothing, reportedly.

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