Who Wants To Watch Dr. Fauci Sh*t On Rand Paul And Call Him A Bad Doctor?

Wanna watch a SUREFIRE HIT VIDEO? We have you one! Rolling Stone is gonna be pretty mad it already released its new 500 bestest albums of all time list, because Dr. Anthony Fauci just dropped a new hit record on Kinda Sorta Dr. Rand Paul's face!

It is called "I Am Too Polite To Say This, But I Don't Think This Dipshit Is A Real Doctor."

Rand Paul, a doctor, was very mad that Dr. Fauci kept saying New York's response to the coronavirus was so great. "New York had the highest death rate in the world," exclaimed Paul, who says he is good at ophthalmologizing, which is too a real word, but we would never trust Rand Paul with our eyes.

(Even the one that we are blind in.)

(Especially that one, because we couldn't see the very good doctor coming at us with his instruments to bite him if he tried anything funny.)

SUREFIRE HIT VIDEO RIGHT HERE:

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Rachel Maddow Finds CDC Director Sh*tting Bed, And Floor, Some Walls, The Ceiling

In an exclusive report yesterday, MSNBC's "The Rachel Maddow Show" uncovered still more political interference by the Trump administration in the response to the coronavirus pandemic. The story makes a hell of a strong case for the immediate resignation of Robert Redfield as director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, because he's given in to Trumpworld directives that have led the agency to promote misleading, non-science-based information about the virus and what's needed to protect Americans from the pandemic.

Specifically, Maddow and her reporting team uncovered evidence that the CDC watered down recommendations its scientists had made for dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak at a Smithfield Foods meatpacking plant in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It's just good old document-finding, digging, and checking with agency insiders. Here's the video; be ready to be disgusted.

CDC Director's Office Ordered Softening Of Coronavirus Safety Protocols For Meat Plant | MSNBC youtu.be


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Ron Johnson, Walking Simpson's 'You Tried' Gif, Releases Biden Ukraine Report

DID YOU KNOW DID YOU KNOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!1¿1??¿?!

Did you know that Joe Biden's son is a fuckup who traded on his family name and got a job on a Ukrainian company's board like every other child of a politician in DC including two who are working in the White House right this very moment?

Oh, you did? Well, then, the report just dropped by The Senate's Dumbest Republican™ won't contain much new information for you.

Despite being warned by US intelligence agencies and members of his very own party that he and Senate Finance Committee Chair Chuck Grassley were laundering Russian propaganda, Senator Ron Johnson went ahead and dropped his hastily polished turd this morning, right in the middle of the SCOTUS nomination/200,000 coronavirus deaths/crazy shit Trump said last night news cycle, where it promptly rolled into the corner largely unnoticed.

The big conclusion of the report is that Hunter Biden being on the board of Burisma was UNLEGAL because it violated anti-awkwardness statutes.

Yes, for real.

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Trump Planning Literal Actual Fascist Takeover Of America, And Dipsh*t Don Jr. Gets To Help!

We don't know what has happened to Donald Trump Jr., but he is looking and sounding a bit rougher than usual.

Here, enjoy a video where Junior, looking like he has a bad case of the meat sweats, hoarsely warns Trump supporters that the mean Democrats are going to steal the election from his daddy, by counting all the votes.

The first thing we notice is that Junior appears to have lost his voice, we imagine from triggering the libs too loudly. He looks sweaty, or rather clammy. No, we mean more than usual. His face looks pained. Again, more than usual.

But the message itself is creepy as fuck, even if it's delivered by somebody who just got caught masturbating for the 14th time that day, his sheets covered in Cheeto dust, allegedly.

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Weekly Top Ten

Wonkette's Weekly Top 10 Is I Don't Know, It Is Really Late At Night You Guys

WHERE THE WINE

Tired! Winedrunk! SER had the week off, FINALLY, so ... don't know where I was going with that, tired and winedrunk. This week's Top 10 has been chosen by a clowder of cats, what that is not a real word and also cats can't read.

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Nice Time

NICE TIME! Judge Overturns Stupid Montana Law That Made It Harder For Native Americans To Vote

What do you think we are, North Dakota?

We don't know if you Wonkers can handle it after the Georgia voting and Post Office Getting Unfucked stories, but we have a third nice-time voting story for you! A judge in Montana has overturned a 2018 law that made it nearly impossible for some Native American voters on reservations to vote, the ACLU announced today.

The law, called the "Montana Ballot Interference Prevention Act" (BIPA), was one of those Git Tuff on Ballot Collection measures intended to stop the scourge of what Republicans deride as "ballot harvesting," even though it's legal in many states for organizations to collect absentee ballots from voters to make sure the votes get to the polls. Republicans worry that the method will lead to voter fraud, because Republicans worry all votes lead to voter fraud. Plus, well, that's what they do.

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News

Post Office Undoes *Most Of* Louis DeJoy's F*ckery, We'll Take The Win

Well that sure is nice.

The United States Postal Service is, traditionally, pretty great. It's super reliable, it allows you to send cards and letters for the price of a stamp (50 cents), it brings you the things you need, and it's one of the few remaining solid union jobs in America where one can get a decent salary with benefits without a college degree. So, naturally, Trump wants to destroy it. He put Louis DeJoy in charge of doing that — but, alas, it has not worked out all that well for him. Two separate judges filed injunctions on the changes he's been making to the USPS, like getting rid of overtime, mailboxes, and sorting machines to help Trump ratfuck the election.

In a memo issued this week and leaked to VICE titled "Ready to deliver Election Mail for the nation," the USPS walked back a number of DeJoy's more controversial plans and informed workers that no one was going to be screwing with the delivery of the nation's Election Mail.

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