Law Closing In On Brett Favre Sticking His Dick In Mississippi Welfare Money Pie

Mississippi, the state where only 1.42 percent of people who qualify for welfare actually get it, has an ongoing scandal involving state officials diverting millions of dollars of federal anti-poverty funds into grifty causes for favored insiders, like the very nice volleyball stadium that former NFL star Brett Favre wanted built at the University of Southern Mississippi. Today, there's another development in that ongoing scandal, as John Davis, the former director of the Mississippi Department of Human Services (DHS) is pleading guilty today to a bunch of state and federal fraud charges.

Davis agreed to plead guilty to two federal charges and 18 state counts in exchange for his cooperation with state and federal investigators; the plea agreement document does not specify what sentence he'll have to serve. But how's this for being a lucky ducky? Whatever time he's sentenced to will be served in federal prison, not in Mississippi's notoriously harsh state prison system.

The guilty plea involves welfare funds that Davis directed to companies owned by WWE pro wrestler person Ted “The Million Dollar Man” DiBiase, and to DiBiase's son Teddy Jr.

Davis and the wrestler's son apparently became friends during Davis's term in office, from 2016 to 2019, Mississippi Today reports:

Davis instructed two nonprofits receiving tens of millions in welfare funds from his department to pay Teddy DiBiase Jr. under what the federal court filing called “sham contracts” to deliver personal development courses to state employees and a program for inner-city youth, “regardless of whether any work had been performed and knowing that no work would ever be performed.”

This makes Davis the third person involved in the scandal to agree in a plea deal to help investigators. In April, Nancy New and her son Zach New agreed to plead guilty to state and federal charges as well; Nancy New had been the director of the Mississippi Community Education Center, one of the nonprofits that took part in the misuse of funds from the federal Temporary Assistance to Needy Families program, which replaced what we used to call "welfare" and frankly still do.

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11th Circuit Says Trump And His Favorite Judges All Morons, Investigation May Proceed

Sometimes court rulings are just a delight to read. Such is the case with last night's ruling from the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, smacking Donald Trump in the face and calling district court moron Judge Aileen Cannon an idiot.

Short version: Yes, the Department of Justice is allowed to use the documents it seized at Mar-a-Lago in its investigation into the closely guarded state secrets Trump stole from the White House, which happen to be the very documents we are talking about.

Obviously. Clearly. Come on, Aileen.

It turns out that classified documents are, by definition, not Donald Trump's property. Who knew? Also, they are not attorney-client privileged. We know we are getting into some legal weeds here, some very complicated topics. We're so far into legal Nerd Land that this stuff apparently flew straight across Aileen Cannon's head, bless her heart.

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Donald Trump went and visited his favorite son Sean Hannity last night, because he doesn't have "lawyer" in his employ with the power to make him shut the fuck up. And we are not going to spend a lot of time on this interview. But there's one clip we want you to see.

It's not that Trump babbles anything new here. It's just that, as his life gets worse and worse every day, his brain is obviously decomposing faster and faster. Our featured video is Trump explaining that all he has to do to declassify documents is think of them. Whether he grunts real hard and loud, like he's doing a declassifying in his pants, or if it's silent, like a Big Mac fart that smokes Melania out of the entire residential quarters.

It doesn't matter. It is part of the powers of the presidency, to be able to declassify things with your mind. As long as he is thinking about documents, they are declassified.

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New York AG Tish James Sues To End All Trump Business Like A Common Trump Charity

This morning New York Attorney General Letitia James announced that her office is suing Donald Trump, his three eldest children, and the Trump Organization for falsifying business records, issuing false financial statements, conspiracy to falsify financial statements, and insurance fraud.

In essence, she alleges, they lied every day for decades about how much money they had, employing an army of compliant lawyers and appraisers to dummy up financial statements to suit any occasion.

Take the Trump Vegas, for which Eric Trump supervised an effort in 2015 to contest the tax assessment by magicking up an appraisal valuing the property at $25 million. That was the same year that Trump's financial statement valued the hotel at $108 million. It was also the year the company engaged in this spectacular feat of fuckery to get a $734 million valuation for 40 Wall Street, which had appraised at just $220 million in 2012.

Team Trump engaged in that particular exercise in mathematical fabulism to secure a loan from Ladder Capital, where the son of now-indicted Trump Org CFO Allen Weisselberg worked. But they had endless accounting tricks to massage the books.

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Class War

Callous Millennials Killed 'Guest Rooms' By Being Poor

Also because you can't put a guest room on avocado toast.

For the last 20 years, at least, Millennials have run roughshod over the land, brutally murdering hundreds if not thousands of beloved American institutions. We killed diamonds! We killed Applebee's and Hooters! We killed napkins! We killed mayonnaise! We killed pickpocketing! We killed cereal ... probably with all of our avocado toast.

Hell, we even killed death.

And now, it seems, we have killed guest rooms. Sorry about that!

According to Architectural Digest, millennials killed guest rooms because we are more likely to rent apartments in the city with roommates than to live in suburban homes with "family units."

The reasons for the guest room’s popularity are the same behind its demise. You know the facts: Homeownership has been replaced by rental agreements, flatshares are more common than family units, and suburban homes have given way to (very) small city apartments.
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State/Local Politics

Tudor Dixon's Got Jokes (Not Good Ones)

It's so funny when extremists plot to kidnap governors.

Tudor Dixon, a highly exclusive, $5,000 a month preschool that is running for Michigan governor, knows what is funny — and it is "domestic terrorism."

On Friday, the gubernatorial hopeful made not one but two jokes about the right-wing terrorist plot to kidnap Gretchen Whitmer and put her "on trial" for all of her COVID crimes.

“The sad thing is Gretchen will tie your hands, put a gun to your head and ask if you’re ready to talk," Dixon said at one event. "For someone so worried about being kidnapped, Gretchen Whitmer sure is good at taking business hostage and holding it for ransom.”

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Wonkette's Weekly Top Ten Will Take You On A Sensual Experience

Come read them!

Happy weekend!

I think about this terrible, terrible song and music video far more than I should, and now you can, too! Please enjoy all of the very normal zoomed in video footage of women at a park trying to mind their own business and also send it to your current love interest as a beautiful romantic gesture. You are welcome!

A Sensual Experience (written, sung & photographed by Ed Rambeau)

Apparently this guy was some kind of teen dream in the 60s and was on American Bandstand or whatever. Other than that he has a large number of fans named Barbara and wrote a song about how you can Google things. A+!


And here are your top ten stories of the week!

10. OK GOP Sen. James Lankford Pretty Sure Rain Just God Crying Happy Tears About Abortion Ban

9. Here's Marco Rubio Lying Like A Liar About LEGAL Asylum Seekers' Lawsuit Against DeSantis

8. Dr. Oz, Working Class Common Man Of The People In Expensive Tailored Turkish Suits

7. Seems Trump Judges Tired Of Being Seen As Ridiculous Hacks, Mike Lindell's Trump Judge Edition!

6. Doug Mastriano Would Probably Lose PA Gov Race Even If He Weren't From New Jersey


4. Trump Bet On Special Master May Be Paying Off ... For The Prosecutors

3. Tucker Carlson Figured Out Our Plan To Destroy High Testosterone Men With Vaccine Mandates

2. When Trump Said Nikki Haley Had A 'Complexion Problem' Was He Referring To Her Large Pores Or ...

1. Oopsies! House Republicans Accidentally Post And Delete Creepy MAGA Midterm Agenda

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