In The Republican Grift-o-Sphere, There Are No Patsies

On Tuesday the Washington Post published an article on hapless Republican congressional candidates, hoodwinked by greedy media companies that exploit their fundraising prowess and leave them with nothing. The horror!

Patient Zero for this investigation is Kimberly Klacik, the failed GOP congressional candidate in Maryland's 7th District. Klacik professed that she "almost passed out" when she discovered she'd pocketed less than a quarter of her fundraising haul after one of her campaign ads went viral.

While the Post notes in passing that the spot, produced by Newsmax's Benny Johnson, "showed her marching in a red dress and high heels past abandoned buildings in Baltimore, asserting that Democrats do not care about Black lives," it neglects to mention that it went viral because Donald Trump and his vile elder son used it as a stick to beat a majority-Black Democratic city with. Nor does it query why a candidate running to represent the people of Maryland in our nation's capital couldn't be bothered to read her own vendor contracts. Probably because they were too busy tut-tutting over poor Kim Klacik getting chewed up and spit out by "the system."

Her campaign is an example of how some consulting firms are profiting handsomely from Republican candidates who have robust appeal in today's politically charged environment — even when they are running in deep-blue districts where it is virtually impossible for them to win. The more viral the candidate goes, the more money the companies make — a model possible only through the online outrage machine of hyperpartisan politics.

Fundraising companies say their fees are well-earned and still leave candidates with more money than they would have if their ads had not been shared widely. But critics, including Klacik and some other 2020 candidates, say the system is deceptive, trapping first-time politicians in onerous contracts that siphon away cash their donors intended for them.

As of this writing, the piece is still trending in the Local section, although it includes precious little "local" background to flesh out the story. But I grew up in the 7th District and currently reside next door in the 3rd, and this article pissed me off enough to write a 20-tweet thread about it, so, yes, let's talk about poor Kim Klacik, caught in the clutches of those ruthless ad guys, shall we?

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Dems Need To Insult Their Base And Love Big Oil And Tell White People They're Not Racist Even When They Are

Matthew Yglesias, formerly of Vox, offered Democrats some advice on his “Slow Boring" Substack that we imagine he believes is helpful somehow. Yglesias claimed that Democrats should “try harder to win elections." Democrats currently control the White House and both chambers of Congress. They beat incumbent Republican senators in Arizona and Georgia. Yes, they really need to get off their asses.

Yglegias defines trying harder as spitting on the party's base and running to the "center." Democrats have enjoyed electoral success in the past two election cycles thanks to increased support from suburban voters and moderates, but apparently we could do even better if we beat Republicans to the punch on their BS culture war issues.

For example, Yglesias sees ample opportunity for growth if Democrats join the anvil chorus and denounce so-called “cancel culture."

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Wingnut Matt Walsh: That Onion Story About The Five-Bladed Razor But It's Gay Dads And Sex Robots

Funny how with Donald Trump gone and an actually competent president in the White House, the Right is right back to its Culture War games of old, at least in between efforts to make sure Republicans never have to face fair elections. Yesterday, Daily Wire columnist Matt Walsh devoted his internet video program to a rant about how America is bound for madness and destruction because liberals are out to wreck the family. Darn those liberal family wreckers! Seems they've been gunning for "the traditional family" forever! Or at least since the Christian Right discovered in the Reagan years that it could endlessly fundraise off the terrifying specter of Mom and Dad being sent to the gulag by lesbians who'll make your baby vote for Ted Kennedy.

So here's the relevant chunk of Walsh's rant, no doubt taken completely out of context to make him seem like an idiot:

Haha, we are kidding! There's no context in which this isn't idiotic!

We have seen three men call themselves dads. Soon, that's not going to be the strangest or most disturbing combination. Give it enough time and even the self-professed "conservatives" will be defending the three dad concept as valid and equal, while maybe offering polite pushback to the newer "four dads and three sex robots" family units. I wish I was exaggerating, but this is the path we put ourselves on when we moved away from the mother-father nuclear family structure.
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Liar Goes Home

Kayleigh McEnany, one of the greatest liars to ever lie nonstop from the White House briefing room, has gone home. She was 32.

She is still 32, because the fucker ain't dead, she's just snaked her way into a job lying her stupid face off on Fox News, which is where she belonged in the first place. That's what we mean by "home." We assume she is otherwise unemployable, but Fox News will be a good fit, as it is for all the other deplorable Trump morons who end up working there.

Media Matters has a good roundup of McEnany's greatest lies. She was an enthusiastic, prodigious asshole when it came to promoting Trump's fascist Big Lie that he won an election wherein he actually got his loser ass stomped. Personally, we will always remember the time she got hired for her job, promised to never lie to the journalists during the briefings, and made it maaaaaybe 15 minutes without lying. Oh, and the Wisconsin Ditch Ballots! That was a fun series of really stupid lies from McEnany, who on top of her lying has been drawing a paycheck for years to pretend she, a 2016 Harvard law grad, is just jawdropping weapons-grade stupid.

Fox News asshole Harris Faulkner announced today that McEnany was joining the Fox News "family" (of liars), but didn't say exactly what she would be doing. Maybe she could do a new segment called "Make It More Bullshit!" Like, a "Fox & Friends" idiot could say a lie about a genderless Potato Head, or Tucker Carlson could go on one of his shriek-y white supremacist sperm rants, and then they could cut in like "Kayleigh, make it more bullshit!" and she would have five seconds to come up with an even more astounding lie than the one the Fox News host just told. She would always deliver the goods.

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coronavirus

That Idaho Mask Burning Was Creepy AF

Why are they always burning things?

Conservatives are always burning things. Tiki torches, Harry Potter books, Bibles that aren't the King James Bible, books by Cuban-American author Jennine Capó Cruce after she suggested to Georgia Southern University students that white privilege is a thing that exists, disco records, copies of the Qur'an, more Harry Potter books (ironically, JK Rowlings turn towards the transphobic is the thing that will probably put an end to this), Nike shoes over an ad featuring Colin Kaepernick ... crosses.

Yesterday, a bunch of right-wing freaks decided to burn masks in Idaho.

Idaho, for the record, does not actually have a mask mandate. So these people were clearly just angry at the idea of keeping people healthy in general. Perhaps they should have thrown in some Flintstones vitamins, a bag of kale, and a few old Buns of Steel VHS tapes to really drive the point home — maybe even get a super rich person to donate a Peloton.

Hand sanitizer, of course, would have been a very bad idea.

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lawsplainer

Eric Swalwell Is Suing Trump And Friends For Inciting An Insurrection — Let's Talk About That!

They may run up against some pretty major free speech issues.

Last Thursday, former House impeachment manager Eric Swalwell filed a lawsuit against Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Mo Brooks, and Rudy Giuliani for inciting an insurrection in early January. The suit aims to hold the Fanatic Four responsible for the January 6 insurrection.

It's similar to the lawsuit filed by Congressman Bennie Thompson and the NAACP against Trump, Guiliani, the Proud Boys, and the Oathkeepers. Both suits allege violations of the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871 for, you know, trying to overthrow the government in a bloody revolt at the US Capitol. Swalwell's suit also alleges violations of DC laws about inciting riots and terrorism, disorderly conduct, infliction of emotional distress, aiding and abbetting assault, and negligence.
As the complaint reminds us, "The peaceful transfer of power is a sacrament of American democracy" and that Trump and his crew "defiled that sacrament through a campaign of lies and incendiary rhetoric which led to the sacking of the United States Capitol on January 6, 2021." And how Trump was "delighted," "borderline enthusiastic," and "confused about why other people on his team weren't as excited as he was" during the sacking of the Capitol building.
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Culture Wars

Will Conservatives Ever Free Us From This False Reality They’ve Created?

Let’s discuss WandaVision and the perils of toxic nostalgia.

While Democrats passed a $1.9 trillion COVID-19 stimulus bill, House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy spent his weekend defending Dr. Seuss. Yes, Republicans still consider this an important issue, which must mean it's polling favorably among conservative voters. Republicans are corrupt but not stupid ... with notable exceptions named Lauren Boebert.

McCarthy tweeted Friday, “I still like Dr. Seuss, so I decided to read Green Eggs and Ham. RT if you still like him too!" Green Eggs and Ham isn't one of the six titles that Dr. Seuss Enterprises has decided not to publish because of offensive content. Neither is The Cat in the Hat, but as Jake Tapper noted, the National Republican Congressional Committee is sending copies of that book to contributors. Here's the fundraising appeal:

"Cancel Culture is TOXIC!"
Patriots proudly declare.
“Free Speech must be defended!"
Dems retort: “Too bad. Don't care."

If you really appreciated Dr. Seuss' work, you wouldn't mock his style so pathetically.

Republicans are lying about the Seuss situation and refusing to publicly read or show images from the actual offensive work. They're also lying about what actually matters to Americans right now. This is the war they want to fight, not the COVID-19 pandemic or poverty. This is what riles up a Republican electorate with a kink for having their intelligence insulted. They want to live in this alternate reality.

This brings us to WandaVision.

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