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A Children's Treasury Of Barack Obama Playing With Tractors

Everyone's favorite Barry Obama tried to connect with "the average American" serf today by attending the whitest event ever: the "Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo 2008." Hurrah! He sat on various farm tractors, and then looked at other farm tractors, and then asked people what the hell tractors do. Let's take a tour of the various Getty wire photos covering this event and see what Barry learned about the country folk!


Here's a close-up of Barry on this same tractor, the Ford 801 Powermaster. Although Barry's "limousine liberal" tendencies scare him away from Ford machines, which make the earth warmer, he knows he has to suck it up and declare that Ford makes good machines, what with the cattle and hay and such likenesses. He looks very awkward and uncomfortable, but he knows he'll get a cigarette in like 20 minutes.

This is a thing called "-CHALMERS." Barry has no idea what a "-CHALMERS" machine does, but he supposes this friendly face might know. The friendly face tells him to push the orange button, lift the steam pipe, open the valve, and then go fuck himself. The friendly face, you see, does not care for black people.

This is a green 1945 John Deere Model B, the Filet of Tractors. Barry tells this kid that this tractor was useful during the Baby Boomer era but is now a rusty old bitch. The kid responds with a brief clarifying question about Barack's mandate for children's health care.

Here's Barack posing with the Centerville FFA, a local organization with tee shirts. And to answer the obvious question: a boy, we think. But that doesn't matter to Barack Obama.

Getty Photos by Emmanuel Dunand

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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