A Children's Treasury of Butthurt Reactions To Joe Biden's Debate Demeanor

Say, did you notice that Joe Biden was just a little interrupty in theVP Debate? We are given to understand that Old Handsome Joe's performance made a bit of a stir among some of the more sensitive souls on the right side of the political spectrum. (You see, when a Republican puts on an angry threat display, it proves his "alpha male" status. When a Dem does something similar, it is the end of civility as we know it, and poo must be flung.)

The Wingosphere is experiencing such a tsunami of tsuris over Mean Joe that we can only skim the surface in this post; no doubt we will miss some of your personal favorites. So it goes. Let's see whose delicate sensibilities have been ruffled by the Veep-Hulk:

  • Dick Morris: The toe-sucking publisher of the (possibly) worst political cartoons on the web told serious legitimate journalism source Newsmax that Biden seemed like a “windbag” and a “demagogue,” whose demeanor called into question his very fitness for office:

    “I think that the dominant impression that comes across is that he should not be a heartbeat away from the presidency — a combination of just totally inappropriate smiling while Ryan was talking — and interrupting, the almost heckling that went on in the debate”
  • Smiling, chuckling, and interrupting! What has this world come to? Why can't our modern-day Vice Presidents have the gravitas of a John Nance "not worth a bucket of warm piss" Garner?

  • Sean Hannity, Eric Bolling, and Greg Gutfeld: The preeminent intellectual heavyweights of Fox News speculated that Biden was drunk during the debate. On Twitter, Hannity wondered "Is there is bourbon in Uncle Joe's glass?" Bolling tweetsified "Mr. VP Is Interrupting And Laughing.. Is He Still Drinking?" and Gutfeld took a more metaphorical approach:

    "Biden is the drunk at the bar, Martha [Raddatz] is the unhappy bartender, and [Paul] Ryan is the unfortunate salesman caught in the middle"

    This is pretty hilarious, because Joe Biden is Irish, and we all know what hilarious drunkards they are! Oh, also, a 2008 New York Times story stated that Biden, whose grandmother's family was ravaged by alcoholism, does not touch the stuff:

    “There are enough alcoholics in my family,” he said last month as he sipped cranberry juice on a train ride from Washington to Wilmington.

    But still, Irish drunks are pretty goddamn funny!

  • Rich Lowry: The editor of the National Review, a popular etiquette manual, also compared the debate to "being trapped in a bar next to a know-it-all drunk," although he at least acknowledged that Biden doesn't drink. Lowry added that

    Vice President Biden's mom and dad taught him many things--but not manners....Ryan made a favorable impression. Biden reinforced the impression that he's a blowhard! Ryan helped his ticket. Biden hurt his.
  • Monica Crowley: The eminently polite radio talker -- who demurely entweetened this funny comedy joke on the announcement of Sandra Fluke's upcoming marriage: “To a man?" -- was very upset by the Vice President's unseemly hijinx:

    On substance, I think Paul Ryan and Joe Biden debated to a draw. But on style, Biden lost the debate with his smug, rude, obnoxious, arrogant, and condescending attitude toward Ryan.

    Doesn't Joe Biden know that Fox News owns the rights to those adjectives?

  • Gretchen Carlson: The co-host of Fox & Friends, who helped Geraldo Rivera worry about a "lesbian cabal" running the Department of Homeland Security, has discovered that Joe Biden's terrible conduct was very very insulting to her as a female lady person, while as a Midwesterner, she thinks maybe Paul Ryan was too polite and deferential:

    I mean, just speaking as a woman for a minute. And I really want to know the difference in the gender opinion this morning. Was this more offensive to women, was it more offensive to men, was it not offensive to either? I… and maybe women have felt this more often. I just could not believe how disrespectful he was. And, being from the Midwest as Paul Ryan is as well, there is such a thing as Midwestern sensibilities and Midwestern politeness, and “oh yeah, you go in front of me.” That’s what Paul Ryan was doing.

    Carlson followed up with this ladylike observation about how Biden made her feel, as a woman: “Do you ever feel that way where you just want to deck somebody?” (We are willing to grant Ms. Carlson a tiny bit of latitude, as we suspect she suffers from Stockholm Syndrome as a result of working with super-douche Brian Kilmeade.)

In short, Joe Biden's impoliteness really rubbed a lot of people who he won't give interviews to the wrong way.

Doktor Zoom

Doktor Zoom's real name is Marty Kelley, and he lives in the wilds of Boise, Idaho. He is not a medical doctor, but does have a real PhD in Rhetoric. You should definitely donate some money to this little mommyblog where he has finally found acceptance and cat pictures. He is on maternity leave until 2033. Here is his Twitter, also. His quest to avoid prolixity is not going so great.


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