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A Children's Treasury of CPAC Stupidity: the Final Chapter

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Today was probably our last day at CPAC, an awful concentration camp of concentrated awfulness. But every winding Ron Paul book-signing line has to end somewhere, and we're sure these folks are glad to be rid of us too. So here's the last account of this crap, starring George Allen, Pam Geller, and a Joe Biden sex toy.

Here is what was in those bags on the table: A squishy Joe Biden. Why does this exist? Must be some sort of hate-masturbation sex toy, one that's easy on old orifices.

We asked George Allen which he preferred: democracy or Israel. "Both," he said. But if you could have just one? "Both."

Here's Pam Geller in the middle of a GZ Mosk tirade. We gave her a list of seven religions and asked her to rank them from the one she would most like to see have a community center somewhat close to Ground Zero to the least. She refused, so the terrorists lost.

The Mosk panel had a spread of nachos, soft pretzels, soda, and candy bars, because it would be indecent to let a vegetable hummus platter get near family members of 9/11 victims. Here's the optimal eating strategy: a tower of pretzels in a river of cheese, a tower knocked down by a Muslim-hater EATING IT ALIVE.

Because if Fair Tax hasn't been successful all these years, a tube of lip balm will certainly turn things around.

We were handed this book. We suspect it is aimed perfectly at the reading level of most of these attendees.

See you at CPAC next year! Just kidding, none of you are interested in gouging your eyes out.

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Deleted Comments: We Gave God The Banhammer

The Commentczar's In Town

Yr Wonkette has been getting quite a few visits from trolls lately, although most of the infestations have been incredibly tiresome and not at all worth discussing here. We're talking, like, not even as good as ol' Turgid Love Muscle Guy. Come to think of it, we haven't seen him in a while; hope he's OK. At least health-wise.

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In 2006, Bob Casey Jr., then the Pennsylvania state treasurer, defeated Rick Santorum and took his seat in the US Senate; presumably only after having it steam cleaned. Not that Casey wanted anything much to do with Dan Savage, the columnist who had helpfully made the alternative definition of "Santorum" one of the best demonstrations of the power of trolling for the prior three years. But in '06, Casey's campaign actually declined a donation from Savage; Casey's finance director thanked him, but suggested maybe Savage could give the money to a group working against Santorum so Casey wouldn't get flak for taking the donation. That was back when Dems were happy to talk about civil unions but frightened of gay marriage, and Casey just plain wussed out on the chance to bring a "weeks-long debate about feces, lube, and assfucking" to the Senate race, as then-Wonket Dave Weigel put it. But Bob Casey has come rather a long way since then, and he now supports marriage equality. He might still be a bit shy about a full-on embrace of buttsechs talk, however.

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