A Children's Treasury of Depressing, Truer-By-The-Hour Commentary About Hillary Clinton

She is truly a monster, run by the Lizard King Bowser, running kamikaze nosedive straight into the soul of our personal Secular Jesuses. She is ruining everyone's life. We need to end this primary, because all of this Internet ranting and raving about Hillary Clinton is just starting to sound too real.

Marc Ambinder:

If Clinton wins the nomination, there will be many Obama staffers, particularly mid-to-high-ranking aides, who will refuse offers to help with the general election. The walk-away rate will be unprecedented.

Jonathan Chait:

But Clinton's kamikaze mission is likely to be unusually damaging. Not only is the opportunity cost--to wrap up the nomination, and spend John McCain into the ground for four months--uniquely high, but the venue could not be less convenient. Pennsylvania is a swing state that Democrats will almost certainly need to win in November, and Clinton will spend seven weeks and millions of dollars there making the case that Obama is unfit to set foot in the White House. You couldn't create a more damaging scenario if you tried.

Josh Marshall:

Hillary Clinton seems to think she's a strong contender in this latter category. But that's a joke. She's starting her second term in the US senate, where, yes, she serves on the Armed Services committee. Beside that she's never held elective office and she has little executive experience. I think she can argue that she'd make and would make a strong commander-in-chief. But she's pushing a metric by which she's little distinguishable from Barack Obama. I'm honestly surprised she's not drawing chuckles on this one.

Jesus, even Sullivan is sounding rational:

If the Clintons beat Obama this way, I have a simple prediction. It will mean a mass flight from the process. It will alter the political consciousness of an entire generation of young voters - against any positive interaction with the political process for the foreseeable future. I'm not sure that Washington yet understands the risk the Clintons are taking with their own party and the future of American politics.

Then again, it's only the Internet. Even if this nomination were decided in June, that still leaves five months for people to get over it. If Hillary wins, the fact that her positions (especially domestically) are, on paper, considerably more liberal than John McCain's will resonate with weeping Obamatons; if Barry wins, then the party can denounce Hillary entirely as the election's bad cop -- do we really think that an effective Republican attack against Obama would be to show footage of Hillary badmouthing him? Having the Republican candidate use Hillary as a mouthpiece sounds like the best option yet to draw voters towards Obama in the general.


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