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A Children's Treasury of Donald Trump Hollering At Former Wonkette Writers

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What happens to our former scribes when they leave the fairest pastures of Your Wonkette for the "real world"? Some of them go to Time, some start cults in the desert, some come back to Wonkette for additional "funnin' on the Internet." Everyone else just gets yelled at by Donald Trump after writing funny insults about him. It turns out that instead of closing Big Deals all day, Trump mostly just reads people making fun of him on the Internet and has his assistants "fire back" by drafting a letter, or a tweet. Most recently, Salon's Alex Pareene, who edited Wonkette in the 1950s or so, joined the rest of the Internet in making fun of Trump's secret plans for the Republican National Convention yesterday, earning himself the hilarious tweeted response you see up top. Who else has transgressed our nation's greatest vulgar fathead businessman in such a way as to merit a petty response?


The wars between Vanity Fair's Juli Weiner, née "Wonkette Intern Juli," and Trump have been the most bombastic over the past couple of years, with Trump taking his lingering 1980s grudge with former Spy editor and current Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter out on the comical Ms. Weiner. (Carter's Spy, famously, used to call Trump a "short-fingered vulgarian.") First was the "BAD WRITER!" incident of 2011:

A year later, and he was too scared to call her by name:

Trump also went full-printout on Boston Globe reporter and beloved former Wonketteer Garrett "Token Paultard" Quinn. We hadn't known about this until about half an hour ago, when Quinn described the attack in an exclusive Wonkette gchat interview.

Garrett: So Trump printed out this blog post on his dealings in AC

Wrote in something like "THIS IS UNFAIR. SHE SHOULD HAVE SOLD HER HOUSE WHEN SHE HAD THE CHANCE. NO SHOT NOW! HA!" - DONALD TRUMP

Scanned it

And emailed it to me

me: haha. he sent one like that to juli weiner once. I'm doing a post on it.

Garrett: His letter to me wasn't because of something I wrote on Wonkette but still, I was taken aback when I got it

me: yeah he is insane

Garrett: Let me find it. Hold on

It was the lamest thing too because it was a post on eminent domain abuse

Here is the note:

Who is next?

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Ann Coulter is not impressed with Donald Trump's presumptuous plan to stop ripping babies away from their mothers and sending them to infant prison. For quite a while, Ann has been obsessively lamenting the very idea that American people even have children to "fill their lives with joy," but now (lol, "now") Ann has shifted her rage to immigrant people. Every time you watch her waving her alien-length arms around in a ritualistic frenzy over how shitty liberals are, just remember that we have already seen the emptiness of her soul laid bare. Remember that time she wanted to eat your baby because you got a tax credit?

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Screenshot- Right Wing watch via Fox News
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It's just another Wednesday in an America that snatched kids from their parents and locked them up in old Walmarts. Trump just signed an unneeded executive order ending his heinous child separation policy, but his "the bad guy mobster in a mobster movie" tactics might've had some permanent damage. What remains of the shriveled-up soul of the grand old poor-screwing Republican party has finally had enough.

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