A Children's Treasury Of Evil Wall Street Failures' Photos From This Good NYT Series About The Financial Crisis


After the economy and capitalism completely died in September because one freaking company called "Lehman Bros." was denied billions of dollars from the Federal Government, the liberal New York Times has been running a weekly-ish series called "The Reckoning" about the various Wall Street jackals -- i-bankers, hedge fund managers, risk-rating companies -- who pooled their talents together to somehow, magically, destroy the entire world with a mere HOUSING PROBLEM. All of the articles in this series are well reported and subtly vilifying. The best part about reading them, though, comes as you scroll down to the fifth or sixth paragraph and see an accompanying picture of some douchebag you've never heard of with a caption describing how this person ruined your life. We've compiled screenshots of these instances from many stories in "The Reckoning" series and blown them up, to heighten the embarrassment.

Ah, here's some a-hole whose former company now has $150 billion of your taxpayer money. He is there with a Korean guy at the Palace of Money. Later, he diced up the Korean guy and repackaged him, somehow, into a series of mortgage-backed tranches that his friends invested in synthetically. This murder technique is called a "derivative."

You may know this guy; the conservatives hate him because he's black, and all Fannie Mae did when it "greatly expanded" was give mortgages to his lazy black friends. The puppetmaster behind all of this was Jimmy Carter, 30 years ago.

Here's America's "Maestro," Alan Greenspan, preaching about computerized risk models to the poor Indians. Hint for future alien generations: If everyone in charge of money & power designates one old fart as "The Oracle" and lets him determine all global policy... he might develop some hubris!

Here's an illegal immigrant who came from Mexico to fulfill the American Dream: ruining America.

Of course, our current problem sits here musing about whatever most recent decision was obviously a mistake. Did you know that he runs America now?

This Nazi went to buy American mortgages at an Irish Bank to get his own little "pot o' gold" (SORRY HAD TO SAY IT) and ended up bankrupting Iceland somehow (maybe), which was what the Nazis wanted to do all along.

They're gonna love him on the left there, Butterface, they're going to roughen up that soft skin in prison all right. Same with the less-fat middle guy. None of these people will ever actually go to jail.

We're confused by this caption, is his full name "Aggressive Supervision Thomas Maheras?" It would not surprise us if this obvious fraud legally changed his first and second names to "Aggressive Supervision." Ha ha ha, Jesus. Whatever it means, the term "Aggressive Supervision" makes us want to drink poison.

Yeah, MIGHTA BEEN AN INTEGRITY PROBLEM when Moody's -- the risk rating agency that everyone bases everything on -- went public and was under intense shareholder/management pressure to drive up revenue!

It's Trig! No, it's Dow Kim! He's the topic of today's piece about Merrill Lynch -- specifically, why he ruined it! You wanna know? Read the caption. He could not possibly have gotten that bonus in 2006 if he had acted responsibly! WHY IS DOW KIM SO MISUNDERSTOOD?

The Reckoning [New York Times]

Donate with CC

Is there ANY good news for the bumblefucking Trump re-election campaign these days? Their polling numbers are in the shitter, therefore Trump is firing the pollsters. Trump's Hitler rally kickoff event in Florida last night was ... whatever it was. Oh, and did we mention that they ain't got no money? Like, of course, not counting whatever Russian money they're not telling us about.

Don Jr. recently called a prominent donor and warned that Trump's money haul is falling behind where Barack Obama was early in his reelection, while Jared Kushner has privately complained to RNC chairwoman Ronna Romney McDaniel that Trump's war chest is not as big as it should be at this point in the cycle.

Whiiiiiiiiiine. Guess they're gonna have to see if they can launder some rubles somewhere, ALLEGEDLY.

Gabe Sherman has some more bad news about Trump's shithole campaign, and it is that Robert and Rebekah Mercer, the father-daughter billionaire duo who bankrolled much of Trump's "victory" in 2016 -- including funding Breitbart, and also the part of the "victory" that comprised Cambridge Analytica, the data company they owned that may have done some real hinky stuff, possibly with Russia, in order to get Trump "elected" -- have zipped up their checkbooks and decided Trump can go eat dicks for all they care.

Keep reading... Show less
Donate with CC

Spinal Tap - Gimme Some Money

Some dick is suing your Wonkette! If you are able, will you please send money?

1. Pick "just once" or "monthly."

2. Pick an amount, like say "all of the money."

3. Click "paypal" if you are paypal or "stripe" if you are not paypal.


5. Carry on with your day, and with new posts below!

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)

Donate with CC

How often would you like to donate?

Select an amount (USD)


©2018 by Commie Girl Industries, Inc