A Children's Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu

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Back in May or February or some other month, the world went nuts over a bunch of Mexicans giving everyone flu, from pigs, in an attempt to take over the world. But when Americans actually got this flu, they did not find it much worse than "regular American flu," which only kills old people, gremlins, and dragons. This false alarm did not stop the government, a.k.a. "that Sebelius lady," from launching a YouTube contest in JULY to "create a 15, 30, or 60 second video Public Service Announcement (PSA) that will inform and motivate people to take steps that will help prevent the spread of the flu." That means any flu! The submission period ends tonight at midnight, and the winner will receive $2,500 while his or her winning video will "be featured on broadcast TV and on government Web sites." Your Wonkette has viewed all 155 submissions (read: like six or seven), and... uh... you're in a bit of a bind, Sebelius.

The first video at the top of this post makes a common error: not following the very basic contest instructions. The instructions say, in bold, "NOTE: Entries must be exactly 15, 30 or 60 seconds to pass this screening process." The other problem with this first video: it is nonsense. DOES IT WANT US TO GET THE FLU?

Here's some guy eatin' sandwiches and blowin' snot all over the ladies. These are both terrible things to do.

As our H1N1 operative "Christy" describes this one, "Cute old man raps and it is sad because he probably really just needs the $2,500." Someone help this hobo!

Guy walks into a doctor's office to beat the fucking shit out of a lady. Where are his manners? But she wins, because she is a doctor.

"Now that we've filmed this, let's return to our woodland threesome."

Contestants [YouTube]

2009 Flu Prevention PSA Contest [Flu.gov]

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