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A Children's Treasury Of Hot New Pix Of Barack Obama, For You To Fap To

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Hoooray it is White House Flickr Update Day! Just be sure to come out of your bunk in time to see Steve Cohen's press conference regarding his deleted Cyndi Lauper tweet, 1 p.m. Eastern, because that shit is gonna be cray.


The picture above reminds us of that Charles Bukowksi story where the lady shrinks the man down to six or eight inches, we forget, and then shoves him up her muff. We are pretty sure it is in Fuck Machine, because we seem to remember our parents reading it aloud to us at the dinner table, and that was definitely the one they were reading from. Also, the scene from Tracks where someone takes a shit on Louise Erdrich's pillow.

In this picture, Barack Hussein Obama meets with Jerusalem witches.

But why is mean old Barack Obama dressing down Old Handome Joe Biden in this picture? Is it for showing him up by being too awesome? Duh. Of course it is.

In this picture, is Barack Obama running from Indiana Jones's scary boulder, or is he running across rooftops with his friend Chest Rockwell? We will never know.

In this picture, Barack Obama pretends there are women who work at the White House. (Look, they even hired Mary Louise Parker to play a staffer.) That is so cute!

And in this picture, Pete Sousa has made Barack Obama look like a monster/angry black man (same thing). You wouldn't like him when he's angry. (We are just kidding, of course you would like him when he's angry. You would like him in a boat, and with a goat, and on a train and in the rain, and all of the things, you would like him.)

The end.

[WhiteHouseFlickr]

Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.

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I wasn't ready for Koko the gorilla to die. She was just 46, so still young well past the upper age limit for a gorilla, but I'll miss her. She loved cats, told mildly amusing jokes, and put up with people, so she was a lot like your weird aunt.

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Donald Trump held one of his televised cabinet meetings today in which he railed about the terrible Democrats who forced the current border crisis (at a time when illegal border crossings are actually lower than usual). In what's sure to be his favorite phrase on Twitter for the next few days, Trump blamed "extremist open-border Democrats" for all the problems he brought on himself with his family separation policy, and explained that Democrats were simultaneously hurting illegal immigrants AND the rest of America by forcing Normal America to accept Central Americans who fled to the US. It made loads of sense! And then things got ... less so.

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