Apparently the Huffington Post bloggers saw a totally different Barack Obama speech last night -- you know, one that wasn't just some rich good-looking lawyer repeating the empty word "hope" like Rudy saying "9/11." Here's a sampling of the inspirational, pompous nonsense that is our substitute for actual insight in this goddamned country:

* Obama and the Courage of our Convictions: Oh Gary Hart, you were sort of like the non-Kenyan version of Obama back in the hopeful days on the 1980s, until you got caught screwing that gal on a yacht.

* The Shock of the New -- Obama in Iowa: It's true, a lot of Iowans were pretty shocked to see a black dude for the first time. So they really are just like on The Cosby Show!

* Obama Wins Iowa: Why Everyone Has a Reason to Celebrate Tonight: Arianna herself ponders the greater meaning of Barry Hussein's Iowa victory -- if he can win an election, maybe even gazilionaire Greek divorcees with gay Republican ex-husbands can win the Democratic nomination someday.

* Iowa Women's Wake-Up FYI To Hillary: Guess what, Hillary? It's a new era and women will no longer blindly vote for a candidate just because the candidate's a woman. Nowadays, empowered independent women only vote for whoever Oprah says to vote for.

* Iowa: "The Status Quo Lost, Change Won": Finally, a good-looking wealthy Ivy League lawyer and U.S. senator has a shot at the presidency! Every handsome, rich, Harvard-educated child in America now has some Hope!

* Clinton Aide Accuses Obama of Fathering Two Black Girls: Oh wait, that one's supposed to be funny.


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