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A Children's Treasury Of Ridiculous Write-In Votes Against Georgia Congressman and Witchfinder General Paul Broun

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Rep. Paul Broun (R-Gethsemane) is in a pretty safe district, being that Georgia's 10th is about as far-right and uber-religious as they come. Broun is the one, you recall, who is a medical doctor who does not believe in medicine, who runs around yelling things like -- and we are not making this quote up -- "All that stuff I was taught about evolution and embryology and the Big Bang Theory, all that islies straight from the pit of Hell."


This time around, the gentleman scholar from Athens ran unopposed for his seat in the House -- but that does not mean people did not oppose him. This post was originally about how 4,000 voters wrote in "Charles Darwin" against Broun, because how sad is that, that the poor libruls have given up fielding candidates and are now just voting for dead scientists.

But! There is more! The charming folks at Flagpole magazine, because that's what every business is called in District 10, have gotten a full list of write-in votes there, and they are fabulous, and your Wonket people have gone through all 371 pages of them, to bring you the big, grand, super-democratic list of candidates people would rather vote for than Paul Broun. (Okay, and a few other races that didn't have a Dem on the ticket.)

There will be no more commentary, aside from that there were votes in several D-10 races for Leslie Knope, 2 Chainz, John Coltrane, and, a personal favorite, "My dog, Charles." No word on whether that was related to another totally real vote cast for "Burning bag of dog shit," which was specifically against Broun.

The electoral angst of District 10 and its Republican slateĀ  is far, far funnier than any blogger could ever be, even though we suspect some of these candidates may not technically be eligible for office in Georgia. Here are some of the best votes against Broun, though they be a mite shuffled:

  • Oprah Winfrey
  • A bag of Rocks
  • Albus Dumbledore
  • A human being with a brain or at least not a religious fanatic
  • A wet rag
  • Alexander Hamilton
  • Anybody else on the planet
  • Bob Dylan
  • Ao;Pw0DDAAEYRKWW
  • Bambi
  • Bart Simpson
  • Big Bird
  • Bill Nye The Science Guy
  • Bill Clinton
  • Ben Franklin
  • Beyonce
  • Bob Ross
  • Brian
  • Burning bag of dog shit
  • Captain Jack Sparrow
  • Captain Kirk
  • Charles 'Fuck Paul Broun' Darwin
  • Charles Barkley
  • Charlie Brown
  • Chavez
  • Chewbacca
  • Cgycj Birrus
  • CM Punk
  • Cthulu
  • Copernicus
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David Tennant
  • Dog Shit
  • Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Elmer Fudd
  • Freedom
  • Evolution Is Real
  • Greg Allman
  • Harry Truman
  • Honey Boo Boo
  • Homer Simpson
  • Homo erectus
  • Howdy Doody
  • Humpty Dumpty
  • James Carter
  • Jesus Christ
  • John Scopes
  • Julian Assange
  • Lady Gaga
  • Lebron James
  • Led Zepplin
  • Literally anyone else
  • Lurr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8
  • Madea
  • McCommunist
  • Ultramantis Black
  • Maya Angelou
  • Michael Stipe
  • Mohammed
  • Mr T
  • Mom
  • Chris Christie
  • Clint Eastwood
  • Cookie Monster
  • Neil DeGrass Tyson
  • Neil Gaimam
  • No way Jose
  • Noam Chomsky
  • Obamaaaa
  • Obi Wan
  • OMFG
  • Optimus Prime
  • Pedro
  • Publix sub
  • Ron Swanson
  • Science
  • Skagnor
  • Subcomandante
  • The Great Pumpkin
  • Taylor Swift
  • Toby Keith
  • Vermin Supreme
  • Voldemort
  • Yoda
  • Willie Nelson
  • Willy Wonka
  • Zelda

And here are some of D-10's other glorious write-ins, for freedom:

  • 2 Chainz
  • Christopher Hitchens
  • Clarence Darrow
  • Dracula
  • Dr. Mhm
  • Guy Fawkes
  • Fidel Castro
  • Howard Zinn
  • Huey Lewis
  • Harry Potter
  • Jay Z
  • Liz Lemon
  • Mitch
  • Peppy Le Pew
  • Rufus Wainwright
  • Seagrams Ginger Ale
  • Teddy Roosevelt
  • Stan Lee
  • Tom Jones
  • Tony Stark
  • YOLO
  • The Rock
  • Tim Allen
  • Turd sandwich
  • Weird Al
  • Matt Ryan
  • Elenor Rigby
  • Hulk Hogan
  • Mtn Dew
  • Pluto
  • Popeye
  • Alan Turing
  • Cher
  • Freud
  • Furby
  • Hairy Dawg
  • Mike Vick
  • Waka Flocka Flame
  • Bubba Gump
  • Dale Earnhardt Jr
  • John Grisham
  • Judge Dredd
  • Poop
  • Qbert
  • Rambo
  • Ronald Reagan
  • Rush Limbaugh
  • Ted Nugent
  • Zoidberg
  • Al Gore
  • Buddy Rommer
  • David A. Titshaw [note: He is real, not just hilariously named]
  • Eagle
  • Eugene Victor Debs
  • Jarvis Muthafuckin Jones
  • George Clooney
  • George Patton
  • Hello Kitty
  • Hillary Clinton
  • Jesus
  • Joel Osteen
  • King of Kings
  • Mars Curiosity Rover
  • Satan
  • Truth
  • A Clown
  • F
  • Foxeye
  • Iggy Pop
  • Ron Swanson
  • Spongebob Squarepants
  • Stephen Davis
  • Abraham Lincoln
  • Anthony Bourdain
  • Anyone else
  • Bacon
  • Batman
  • Darth Vader
  • Any sentient being
  • Elmo
  • John Coltrane
  • Jon Stewart
  • Kobe Bryant
  • Leslie Knope
  • Luke Skywalker
  • Mickey Mouse
  • Mr Ed
  • My dog, Charles
  • Stephen Colbert
  • William Jefferson Clinton

Democracy, a beautiful thing. [Flagpole, via tipster Sara Kate W]

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Fellow Wonkers, this last week of horror has been wearing on us all, because here we are in a world where the "president" of the United States has ordered that migrant children be taken away from their parents at the border, and is simultaneously proud of it (for his base) and cravenly blaming it on Democrats because even he knows it's morally reprehensible. But what the hell can we do about it beyond calling our senators and representatives and posting sadness on Twitter, the latter of which is of dubious utility to anyone, and mostly depressing?

Resist the urge to disappear into a bottle. The kids and the families need you.

Slate has compiled a great list of places to start, which we will liberally summarize for you right now:

The thing these folks need most is LAWYERS. If you're an immigration lawyer, you're probably already swamped. But on the off chance you have time and expertise to spare, the American Immigration Lawyers Association is building a list of volunteers.

Yr Dok Zoom has given money to the fine folks at RAICES, a San Antonio-based group that has two major projects. They're getting lawyers for migrant families (and for the kids when possible) and raising money to pay migrant parents' bond so they can be out of jail and with their families. If you're in Texas, then click here to volunteer!

Update: RAICES is also holding a "what you can do" webinar this Thursday:



Also for folks who are in Texas:

The Texas Civil Rights Project is seeking "volunteers who speak Spanish, Mam, Q'eqchi' or K'iche' and have paralegal or legal assistant experience."

There's also CARA -- an umbrella organization for the Catholic Legal Immigration Network, the American Immigration Council, the Refugee and Immigrant Center for Education and Legal Services, and the American Immigration Lawyers Association. Together, they provide legal services at immigration detention centers.

To help kids who are already in immigration detention, there's Kids in Need of Defense, which provides children with representation in immigration court and also lobbies for children's legal interests. Donate here.

If you're not quite sure where to give, ActBlue has bundled several immigrant rights groups into a single donation button -- see the list and donate here.

Remember, there's always the ACLU, which is fighting family separation with a federal class action lawsuit.

You want to march? Former top government ethics lawyer Walter Shaub, who gave up trying to tell the Trump administration what ethics even are, will be announcing the details of a national march (think DC and local affiliated marches) tonight on MSNBC's "All In with Chris Hayes." We'll make noise here, too.

Good people are coming together to put an end to this cruelty. EVERY Democrat in the Senate is now co-sponsoring Dianne Feinstein's bill to stop family separation.

And hell, we'll even give the last word to Jennifer Rubin, who seems to have reassessed some of her previous political views. She has a reminder for all of us:

Damn straight. Remember it every damn day between now and then.

It's your open thread. Don't boo -- organize. Time to RESIST.

Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter

Don't take for granted that the institutions you love will always be there, like democracy, and Wonkette. Click to save at least one of them!

[Slate]

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There are perks to being the only Harvard professor willing to shill for the Bush League Mussolini. Everyone else has to haul ass to the Fox studio and sit for hair and makeup. Not Alan Dershowitz! He just parks his laptop in Pee Wee's playhouse and Skypes in that rant. Is he even wearing pants? We hope never to find out!

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