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We have infiltrated TeamSarah.org, the Internet's top repository of Sarah Palin crap, and boy oh boy is it majestic. There are 35,000 blog posts to be written about what is in this thing. But we have to start somewhere. So how about presenting you with some of the site's very best Sarah Palin poetry, which seems to be a common hobby for these people, along with some photos of Trig they've piled up?


Starting us off is Lennart Bilen's limerick about Sarah Palin "A Limerick about Sarah Palin":

A multitalented woman from the forty-ninth state

made Main Street Media blinded with hate.

She metamorphocised from Gov

to Mama Grizzly Bear. Se how her love

with God’s help will right this land before it’s too late.

Here's one by John S. Groll, entitled "Peom: America cries out for Sarah Heath Palin"

B I U S America cries out for Sarah Heath Palin

With teeth a knashing

And the economy failing

America cries out against

The so-called man of hope

The Son-of-a-blank

Who used to smoke dope

Against the Son-of-a-blank

And his so called Healthcare Reform

Who would abort the healthy

Along with those who are deform

Who would impose higher taxation

On those who are are already born

Adds not to his praise

But to O'bama's scorn

A son-of-a-blank who would

Take the position of America's Enemies

To add to his list

Of his long list of infamnies

America cries out

For Someone with Heart

To elect Sarah Heath Palin, President

Is a good place to Start!

Here's one about Todd by otlset:

Content in the background is our Sarah's Todd.

Faithful and supportive, he thus serves God.

He's got a big brood.

He hunts for their food.

He's also quite handy with a fishing rod!

Lennart really likes limericks:

Sarah Palin from lakeside Wasilla

was said not to have one scintilla

of knowledge. But yet

her words just did set

to flight Washingtonians' biggest gorilla

Sarah was speaking at Cal State Stanislaus

of learning and freedom and order in the house.

The protests were there

a hundred to spare

but she raised 200 K for their cause!

The uttermost part of the earth is right here,

and also: the end of the world is quite near.

Remember He said

he'll rise from the dead,

so Proclaim the Good News unto all who will hear!

There once stood a corporate jet in Anchorage,

When Sarah took reins of the state she had courage.

Without a delay

she put on e-bay

that state-supplied jet on Ted Stevens, Anchorage.

With Glenn in late August on National Mall

our Sarah will be there with Patriots all.

She'll help us remember

to vote in November

so of the Chicago Way remains just a mural.

Who is then this man we elected commander?

On hard, tough decisions his mind does meander.

All ideology;

can't grasp ecology.

Not so Sarah Palin, I reins gladly hand her.

GOSARAH2012 joins in:

This one's from Hubby. He insists it's better than mine.

Sarah is home-spun and pretty

She's not from a very big city

The dems hate her guts

'cause she crushes their n*ts

And renders their boxers quite shi(You get the point!)

As does otlset:

Sarah knows the 23rd Psalm.

She walks the walk in joyful calm.

She knows the key,

To really be free

Without writing it on her palm!

This is true art. But for some reason, when we started a thread about the hookworm rumors, the mods deleted it. Hmm. [Team Sarah]

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HOLY ACHTUNG TWITTER IS FREAKING OUT! Special Counsel Robert Mueller's office (SCO) has issued a statement, almost 24 full hours after Buzzfeed's story on Donald Trump ordering Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the failed Trump Tower Moscow deal started blowing everybody's minds. Mueller's spokesman says actually BuzzFeed got it a bit wrong. This is significant because 1) Mueller's office NEVER talks, and B) well, they're not actually saying BuzzFeed got it WRONG wrong. Just, you know, kinda wrong.

Wow, that statement is lawyered as fuck. BuzzFeed described "specific statements" wrong, and its "characterization of documents and testimony" was just an eensy bit off, and maybe if BuzzFeed moved this sofa over here it would take advantage of more natural light in the room, and honestly, BuzzFeed should trim up this one paragraph of its article, because those sentences DO NOT SPARK MARIE KONDO'S JOY.

Otherwise, it's great!

First of all, we want everybody to relax. Donald Trump is still a criminal.

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It's been a joy watching the reactions come in from TrumpWorld about the news that Donald Trump has committed YET ANOTHER CRIME, in this case suborning perjury by instructing his former lawyer thug fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress. How many other people did he do that with? WE DUNNO! But that's not what this post is about.

First of all, let's see what the big guy himself did. As with all presidential statements from the un-president, it happened on Twitter:

Oh wait, that's (grapes) not it. Here it is:

That's right, the president of the United States reacted to a bombshell news report exposing that he had tampered with a witness by suborning perjury by ... tampering with that witness some more in public, by threatening his father-in-law! (To be fair, Trump has been trying to intimidate the witness by encouraging the feds to investigate Cohen's father-in-law for a hot minute now. It's one of his things, like tweeting and pooping at the same time and comparing WALL to WHEEL.)

Keep reading... Show less
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