A Children's Treasury Of Terms Of Abuse For Our Favorite Villains

Now that it's officially pre-2009, we can start guiltlessly recycling all the material we've already written into Top Ten Posts. Today's took asurprisingly long time to compile. It seemed like a good idea to look at all the funny terms we used to describe our Political Enemies, and it turns out that phrases like "rancid shit-sack," "vulgar fraud," "human garbage," and "cretin" turn up with shocking frequency around these parts. So, after the jump, a painstakingly culled collection of our favorite mean phrases we used to describe objectionable people such as Joe the Plumber, Eliot Spitzer, and of course our all-time favorite, the humanoid sewer-pipe and self-professed eternal virgin Joe Lieberman.

  • George W. Bush: "Bellicose twat of a president"
  • John Edwards: "Vulgar self-regarding horndog"
  • Jonah Goldberg: "Fat Mexican secretary"
  • Joe the Plumber: "A creepy-looking unlicensed handyman in Toledo ... unappealing idiot ... clown of lies ... hydrocephalic ... this goon ... a talentless mook."
  • Joe Lieberman: "It’s like two quarter-pound stools of alien space shit crashed into a toxic waste dumpster in Stamford, Connecticut, fucked, and out came their mutilated, blood-soaked carcass of a baby rat-child, Senator Joseph Lieberman."
  • Kathryn Jean Lopez: "Mouth-breathing fart-sack"
  • Sarah Palin: "Our Snowbilly Dingbat ... a nine-year-old child abandoned at the Wal-Mart in some exurban Alaskan gloom-hole ... a barely functioning idiot."
  • Mark Penn: "Obese incompetent swamp sow"
  • Mitt Romney: "Orange-skinned dog-torturing Scientology-loving Frenchman"
  • Eliot Spitzer: "Secret phone Muppet"

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