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You could've STOPPED THE PLANES or something, but you wept. Thanks, Cunt - Wonkette

On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally making energy and defense stocks the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, "September the Eleventh" has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism.


Next, if you thought passenger jets could be terrifying weapons, you'll truly be terrified by the giant winged baby monster:

Uhhhhh .... - Wonkette

How did such a truly awful, gut-wrenching event inspire such stupid crap? It's just part of our modern, idiotic culture -- the same mouth-breathing instinct that compels people to pile a bunch of wet stinking stuffed animals at the site of a fatal car crash, or order a hundred Thug Life "memorial T-shirts" to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot, or make a GeoCities memorial site for Princess Diana (with animated GIFs and MIDI music of "Candle In The Wind").

Or, if you're an entrepreneur, maybe you just manufacture some lighters in China with bas-relief images of the burning WTC towers and Osama bin Laden's face, and when you open it, the thing will play "Für Elise" and little LEDs will blink in the "fire."

But nothing says "We sort of had it coming" like the endless variations of the Crying Eagle.

Oh shit a giant eagle has eaten one of the WTC towers - Wonkette

one for every year he's been away .... - Wonkette

This next one is truly emblematic of the whole pathetic trend: The fucking flag is not only somehow tattooed on the eagle's feathers, but it's also backwards. Show some respect, crying eagle.

NO UR DOING IT WRONG - Wonkette

While cynics will say 9/11 has been used primarily to justify a $500 billion occupation and destruction of a country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, optimists will point out that 9/11 could also get you a dollar-twenty-nine bag of grease fries down at the Burger King, in Hilltop Plaza:

More like FREEDOM fries - Wonkette

And if the endless pictures of the Smoke Devil attached to absurd quotes from the Book of Revelations weren't enough, somebody decided to bring attention to yet another mysterious animal shape in the smoke:

The fuck is that supposed to be? - Wonkette

Uhhhh ..... Is it a chicken drumstick? Maybe the head of that little dude in "Gremlins"? Maybe a mooninite?

hi jesus! - Wonkette

Optimists saw Jesus as the Great Destroyer.

Let's move on:

We won't easily forget this one .... - Wonkette

Okay, WTF? Is this what 9/11 is like in Second Life? Is a furry going to fuck Lady Liberty, and does she have four legs or something hidden in those shadows? Because she's obviously got some yiff scar on her left tit, maybe from a anthropomorphic fox with a 24-inch penis?

Uhhhhhhh - Wonkette

Burning? Is that really the word you want to use here?

America is back, babies!

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