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A Children's Treasury of Terrible 9/11 Art

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You could've STOPPED THE PLANES or something, but you wept. Thanks, Cunt - Wonkette


(Every year on this rotten day, we repeat this beloved 9/11 feature, sort of like how "A Charlie Brown Christmas" plays on the teevee every December.) On this solemn day a half-dozen years ago, nearly 3,000 people were horribly killed so that Rudy Giuliani could earn a hundred million dollars and run for president of 9/11 and the most corrupt administration in American History could wage endless war around the world that has killed some 700,000 people while finally restoring energy and defense stocks to the solid dividend payers favored by long-term investors. Also, "September the Eleventh" has inspired the most insipid, maudlin kitsch in the history of an already very kitschy nation, along with some truly stomach-turning old-fashioned American Huckersterism.

Uhhhhh .... - WonketteIf you thought passenger jets could be terrifying weapons, you'll truly be terrified by the giant winged baby monster from Hell.

How did such a truly awful, gut-wrenching event inspire such stupid crap? It's just part of our modern, idiotic culture -- the same mouth-breathing instinct that compels people to pile a bunch of wet stinking stuffed animals at the site of a fatal car crash, or order a hundred Thug Life "memorial T-shirts" to remember some shithead gangsta teen who got himself shot, or make a GeoCities memorial site for Princess Diana (with animated GIFs and MIDI music of "Candle In The Wind").

Or, if you're an entrepreneur, maybe you just manufacture some lighters in China with bas-relief images of the burning WTC towers and Osama bin Laden's face, and when you open it, the thing will play "Für Elise" and little LEDs will blink in the "fire."

But nothing says "We sort of had it coming" like the endless variations of the Crying Eagle.

Oh shit a giant eagle has eaten one of the WTC towers - Wonkette

one for every year he's been away .... - Wonkette

This next one is truly emblematic of the whole pathetic trend: The fucking flag is not only somehow tattooed on the eagle's feathers, but it's also backwards. Show some respect, crying eagle.

NO UR DOING IT WRONG - Wonkette

While cynics will say 9/11 has been used primarily to justify a $500 billion trillion-dollar occupation and destruction of a country that had absolutely nothing to do with 9/11, optimists will point out that 9/11 could also get you a dollar-twenty-nine bag of grease fries down at the Burger King, in Hilltop Plaza:

More like FREEDOM fries - Wonkette

And if the endless pictures of the Smoke Devil attached to absurd quotes from the Book of Revelations weren't enough, somebody decided to bring attention to yet another mysterious animal shape in the smoke:

The fuck is that supposed to be? - Wonkette

Uhhhh ..... Is it a chicken drumstick? Maybe the head of that little dude in "Gremlins"? Maybe a mooninite?

hi jesus! - Wonkette

Optimists saw Jesus as the Great Destroyer.

Let's move on:

We won't easily forget this one .... - Wonkette

Okay, WTF? Is this what 9/11 is like in Second Life?

Uhhhhhhh - Wonkette

Burning? Is that really the word you want to use here?

America is back, babies!

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Can we just say that when Fox idiot Maria Bartiromo sounds like the sane person in a situation, that is a worrisome situation? That is what happened when Donald Trump -- who's just had a fantastic Infrastructure Week, assuming it is Infrastructure Week, and we always do -- sat down for what was supposed to be an easy breezy "You're the best!"/"No YOU are, Mister President!" interview with his beloved Fox pals.

Instead Maria Bartiromo had to ask the question on everybody's mind, which is WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD, or, more clearly, is there a reason you have spent this entire week of your presidency picking a fight with a dead guy, who somehow seems to be winning that fight, because you are literally so stupid and incompetent you LOSE FIGHTS TO DEAD GUYS?

She said it nicer than that, though.

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Last fall, after Wisconsin voters rejected Gov. Scott Walker's reelection bid and chose Democrat Tony Evers instead, Republicans in the state legislature got very busy doing anything they could to limit the power of the incoming governor and the new Democratic attorney general, Josh Kaul. Hey, voters may have chosen Evers, but that didn't mean Rs had to let Democrats actually govern, now did it? As Republican state House Speaker Robin Vos rather notoriously said at the time, the lege had to act because "We are going to have a very liberal governor who is going to enact policies that are in direct contrast to what many of us believe in." So in a two day "extraordinary session," the Republicans shifted power from the executive branch and gave those powers to the legislature, which conveniently remained in Republican control thanks to gerrymandering. Scott Walker signed the bills and then began his career as an idiot on Twitter.

Yesterday, a Wisconsin judge found the entire lame duck session violated the state constitution, and invalidated the laws it passed. Dane County Circuit Judge Richard Niess said in his decision the Wisconsin constitution is quite specific about when the legislature can meet, and nope, the "extraordinary session" didn't meet the constitutional requirements, so sorry guys, you didn't follow the rules and your laws ARE MOOT.

The Associated Press lawsplains the constitutional neener-neener:

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